


And I'm Home

by demigoddesses



Category: Mahou Shoujo Madoka Magika | Puella Magi Madoka Magica
Genre: Alternate Universe - High School, Alternate Universe - Human, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Enemies to Friends to Lovers, F/F, Fluff, Minor Violence, Rivalry, Slice of Life, Slow Burn, Softball, if u are a real softball player please do not read this because it's just me embarrassing myself
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-12-27
Updated: 2017-08-31
Packaged: 2018-09-12 12:44:40
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 27
Words: 55,110
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9072250
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/demigoddesses/pseuds/demigoddesses
Summary: The jerkass red-haired girl drops her bat and casually finishes her stick of Pocky. And then she turns, and for a brief second, she makes eye contact with Sayaka. The girl smirks, her fangs visible, before turning away.Sorry Madoka, Sayaka texts back. I’m joining the softball team.__Sayaka and Kyoko may bat for the same team, but that sure as hell doesn't mean they have to like each other! Two girls. One season. One Sayaka/Kyoko softball AU.





	1. i was stupid, so stupid

On the first day of school, Sayaka wakes up at 7:04 am: a bad omen. Four traditionally signifies death, and she’s always just personally hated the number seven. She’s not really sure why; she just does.

But whatever. Sayaka isn’t superstitious, so she tries her best to brush it off. She jumps out of bed with a smile on her face. Her first day at Kazamino Senior High School is going to be great! Even if her school is an hour away taking the bus, and the school colors are really ugly! She tries not to make a face at her mud brown skirt, barf green tie, and khaki jacket with brown piping. Why couldn’t whoever designed the uniform choose a nice shade of green, at the very least?

But whatever! She studied really hard so that she could get to this top-ranked school, so she doesn’t care that the uniform is ugly, and the commute is long. She doesn’t care because it’s a great school…

… And it’s only a five minute walk from the prestigious music school that Kyosuke attends.

Her heart skips a beat at the thought of Kyosuke Kamijo: childhood friend, prodigy violinist, and the boy she’s been in love with for years.

She shakes herself out of her thoughts and checks the clock. _Shit_! It’s already 7:18. She’s missed the 7:10 bus, but there’s another bus that leaves at 7:20. If she runs, she could probably make it!

She grabs a container of yogurt, a cheese stick, and her backpack before rushing out the door, her hair a mess and her shoes barely on her feet. Nearly missing her bus also feels like a bad omen, but Sayaka ignores it. Her first day of school is going to be great!

/

Long story short: her first day of school is not great.

/

Long story long:

Sayaka arrives on campus at 8:25. Kazamino Senior HIgh is known for a beautiful campus of gorgeous greenery and esteemed brick building, but Sayaka doesn’t really give a shit about that because she’s trying not to be late, goddammit!

She sprints into the gym to attend the Opening Ceremony at exactly 8:30, red-faced and sweaty. Probably not the best first impression to her new classmates, she thinks with an inward groan. She plops down in the nearest available seat next to a group of rowdy boys. Their Principal starts the ceremony, but Sayaka doesn’t really pay attention. Instead, she looks around the gym, searching for a particular pink head. Unfortunately, Madoka doesn’t seem to be anywhere nearby. All she sees is unfamiliar faces.

The Ceremony is kind of boring, but otherwise it ends without a single problem. That is, until she nearly gets trampled while the students rush to leave the gym. Why is everyone in this school so rude? Why is everyone shoving her?

Sayaka manages to make it to her classroom, room 1-C. She’s the last one to arrive, since she had to deal with nearly being trampled by the student body, so there’s aren’t very many seats left. She plops down in the nearest available seat: a seat near the back corner next to a snoring, scowling red-haired girl. Sayaka’s never seen anyone look so scary in their sleep. She’d rather not sit next to her, but she doesn’t really have a choice. Plus, she’s not the kind of person to be scared of scowling girls!

Her homeroom teacher starts the class, but Sayaka doesn’t really pay attention. Instead, she scopes out the classroom, searching again for that pink head. Unfortunately, Madoka isn’t in her class. In fact, not a single person that Sayaka knows is in her class.

Sayaka’s trying to stay positive, really, but she’s starting to lose hope.

/

Her classes are absolutely brutal, and by lunchtime, she’s absolutely exhausted. She’s grateful for the break, but then she remembers that she doesn’t have anything to eat because she forgot to grab lunch in the rush outside. Also, she doesn’t have any friends that she can chat during the period. Damn.

Well, the positive side of her suggests, now would be a good time to start making friends, wouldn’t it?

The red-haired girl happily munches on her lunch, a bag of chips in one hand and a sandwich in the other.

“That looks tasty,” says Sayaka, trying to start a conversation.

The girl turns to her. “Yeah?” she says, popping another chip into her mouth. She smiles in a manner so that Sayaka can see her unusually pointy front teeth. “Well, they’re all mine.”

“I wasn’t even asking!” Sayaka says, but the red-haired girl doesn’t seem to be listening anymore. Sayaka seethes silently in her seat. The nerve of that girl! Whatever! Sayaka doesn’t need her. She can make other friends who _aren’t_ jerks. She looks around, but everyone already seems to be in their own little clique. The troublesome boys with brash voices and gelled hair, the smart kids with books and notes, the pretty girls with shortened skirts and lip tint. Would approaching them even be worth trying?

Her phone suddenly pings, solving her internal battle of whether to approach one of the groups or not. For a second, Sayaka’s heart leaps at the thought that maybe it’s a text from Kyosuke? But it’s only a text from Madoka.

_Sayaka, I’m so sad that we aren’t in the same class :(  How was your first day?_

_Terrible_ , Sayaka thinks, but she has to act brave for Madoka. Poor Madoka! She must be suffering just as much as Sayaka, with no one familiar in her class. So instead she texts back, _It was okay! Wish you were with me, but I’m doing quite well :) What about you?_

Madoka responds quickly. _I’m doing great! I miss you, of course, but Homura Akemi is in the same class as me! I didn’t even know she was going to Kazamino! It was a good surprise to see her. She’s so sweet!_

Sayaka frowns. So Madoka isn’t suffering after all… because she has Homura Akemi. Hmph! Sayaka’s never liked Homura; she had a bad feeling about the girl the second she transferred into Mitakihara Middle School. Why did it have to be Homura, of all people, who decided to attend Kazamino? Sayaka’s wondering what she should text back when a shadow falls over her desk.

“Is that a cell phone I see?”

Sayaka looks up to see a teacher with a birdlike nose and beady eyes, glaring at her phone. Sayaka tries to defend herself, but it’s pointless.

It turns out that Kazamino Senior High School has a far stricter cell phone policy than Mitakihara Middle School did, and she’s forced to hand over her phone. Since it’s the first day, the teacher is “merciful enough” to not file a report and call her parents. Sayaka should stop by the main office at the end of the day to retrieve her phone.

/

 _I was stupid, so stupid_ , Sayaka thinks as she finally trudges out of school, dragging her feet. Her new classmates are all unapproachable and cliquey. Her classes are so difficult that they make her head hurt, and her homework load is already unbearable. And on top of all that, her school uniform is hideous!

Why did she choose to go to this dumb school? Why didn’t she go to Mitakihara High School like most of her old classmates? All of this suffering, for the sake of some _boy_?

Her school is so awful that she can’t even summon some real anger and frustration. She can’t feel anything but exhaustion. She feels dead and empty and hungry… and the day isn’t technically even over yet. Sure, her classes are over, but she should check out the after school clubs. Her teachers strongly recommended for all the new students to pick a club and commit by the end of the week. But Sayaka isn’t really sure what to do. In junior high, she played softball and track: softball her first two years and track the third. She liked both of them equally.

After enduring an unreasonably long lecture from the registrar, Sayaka’s allowed to have her phone back. Madoka’s sent her another text, probably about how great Homura is or something, but Sayaka doesn’t even bother to read it. She shoves her phone into her backpack and decides to drag herself to the track.

Just her luck, she gets lost on the way to the track. She has absolutely no idea where the track is - or where she is, for that matter. Her head and feet both hurt. Sayaka decides that she might as well just call it a day and catch a bus to go home. She’ll look at the after school clubs later. Or maybe never. Who really cares?

She takes out her phone so that she can search up the nearby bus times, and since she has her phone out, she decides to read Madoka’s text. _Anyway, what after school club are you planning on joining? Homura and I were considering art. Maybe we could all join together!_

Upon nearly bumping into a fence, Sayaka looks up from her phone and realizes that she’s somehow stumbled upon the softball field. To her surprise, a familiar red-haired girl stands in the batting cage, her hair cascading out of her helmet and a stick of Pocky in her mouth. Her stance is nearly perfect, and her grip is steady and sure. When the ball hurtles towards her at breakneck speed, the girl swings with all her might, and the satisfying sound of a bat smacking a ball rings through the air. The ball, a white comet, flies through the sky.

“Wow,” says a tall, dark-haired girl near Sayaka. The girl is wearing a softball jersey and a cap, worn sideways, that reads Team Captain. Sayaka clenches her fist around her phone.

The jerkass red-haired girl drops her bat and casually finishes her stick of Pocky. And then she turns, and for a brief second, she makes eye contact with Sayaka. The girl smirks, her fangs visible, before turning away.

/

 _Sorry Madoka_ , Sayaka texts back. _I’m joining the softball team_.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> loosely inspired by some your lie in april elements. let's get this softball au started!


	2. ready to dominate

The next morning, Sayaka wakes up at exactly 6:15 am. She makes herself a simple breakfast of eggs and toast and packs a bento for lunch. She spends extra time making sure that her hair looks nice. She gets to the bus stop by 7:00, ten minutes early.

Sayaka Miki is ready to dominate her second day of school - _and_ that stupid red-haired girl who sits next to her and plays softball.

“Sayaka!” a familiar voice exclaims. Madoka, her pink-haired best friend, envelops her in a big, warm hug. “It’s good to see you! I didn’t see you all day, yesterday!”

“Sorry, I overslept,” Sayaka says in apology, squeezing her friend tight. “Oh Madoka, it’s so good to see you too! I missed you too much!”

A slight cough makes Sayaka and Madoka break apart. Sayaka peers over Madoka’s shoulder to see a girl with violet eyes and perfect jet black hair that flows down her back, gorgeous even in the school uniform. She looks familiar somehow, but Sayaka can’t exactly place how…

“Homura!” Madoka says, turning around.

That’s Homura? The Homura that Sayaka remembers is a frail, unassuming girl with glasses and dorky braids. But now that Madoka’s identified her, Sayaka recognizes the girl as undoubtedly Homura Akemi.

“Sayaka, isn’t it so great that all three of us go to school together?” Madoka says, pulling both of them close.

On opposite sides of Madoka, Homura and Sayaka exchange glances. Homura doesn’t seem to like Sayaka any more than Sayaka likes her, but the two of them wordlessly agree to play nice for Madoka’s sake.

/

Madoka chooses to sit next to her on the bus, and Sayaka sends Homura a smug grin. Homura sits down in the row behind them without batting an eye, placing her bag in the space beside her so as to occupy both seats. Homura’s a strange one.

That’s when Kyosuke arrives, his violin case swung around his back, walking in step with a green-haired girl named Hitomi. He greets Sayaka and Madoka with a small wave.

“Kyosuke! Hitomi!” Madoka says cheerfully.

“Hey Kyosuke. Hey Hitomi,” Sayaka says, eying the two of them together. She watches them as the two of them sit next to each other on the bus, a few rows ahead, and laugh and chat with each other. Since when were they close? Hitomi and Kyosuke are mutual friends through Sayaka, (Hell, Sayaka’s the one who introduced them to each other!) but they don’t hang out together on their own.

“Are you okay?” Madoka whispers, nudging her lightly.

“I’m fine, I’m fine!” Sayaka says, folding her arms behind her head. “Hey, are Kyosuke and Hitomi a thing?” she asks, as casually as she can.

“No, but Hitomi was talking to me yesterday, and I think she likes him a lot! They go to the same music school, you know, since Hitomi plays piano. And they’re in the same class, too,” Madoka explains.

Sayaka tries not to frown; she doesn’t want Madoka to see that she’s upset. But she suddenly feels like she swallowed a pit. Hitomi? And Kyosuke?

/

Sayaka tries to push Hitomi and Kyosuke out of her mind, but she can’t stop thinking about them as she tries to focus on math. Hitomi and Kyosuke, bonding over their new shared classes and their talent in music. Sweet, lovely Hitomi, who Sayaka would be an asshole to hate, and Kyosuke: a match made for each other.

Beside her, the red-haired student continues to snooze, just like she did the day before. It makes Sayaka irrationally angry. Here she is, trying her best to succeed in class even though her mind is elsewhere, and the girl next to her is just sleeping like nothing matters! How did a girl like her even pass the tests to get into a top-ranked school like this? All she does is eat and sleep! Sayaka keeps waiting for their teacher to call her out on it, but her math teacher just keeps scribbling on the board in the most monotone lecture voice ever, oblivious.

The girl continues to sleep through the next three classes, but she miraculously wakes up at lunchtime. As she spoons rice and fish into her mouth, Sayaka feels another surge of anger.

“Maybe you could try staying awake for the rest of your classes?” she asks in a falsely sweet voice.

“You say something?” the redhead says, her mouth full.

“I said maybe you should stay awake for your next classes!” Sayaka says, the fake sweetness gone. “You know, because classes are important!”

“No they aren’t,” the girl says, munching on a pickled radish.

“Yes, they are!” Sayaka shoots back through gritted teeth.

“Nah, they really aren’t,” the girl says. She then turns away, sending the message loud and clear that a conversation with Sayaka isn’t worth her time.

Sayaka receives the message, and it infuriates her! In fact, everything about this girl infuriates her! Her laziness, her rudeness, her flippant attitude about everything… Well, Sayaka isn’t going to let her just dismiss her like that! She stands up, marches towards the girl’s desk, and smacks the spoonful of rice right out of her hand.

Like a snake, the girl strikes, grabbing Sayaka’s arm and twisting it until Sayaka’s eyes water from the pain.

“Never waste food in front of me!” the girl snarls, standing up. Her angry face is mere inches from her own, and Sayaka can’t focus on anything but the pain in her arm, but she still refuses to back down.

“It was just a spoon of rice!” she says. And in one fluid swipe, she dumps the entirety of the redhead’s lunch onto the ground.

The girl screams, and while she’s distracted and shrieking over the lost food, Sayaka wrestles her twisted arm out of the girl’s grip. She sighs in relief and tries to massage some feeling back into the arm.

The next thing she knows, she’s thrown onto the ground, while the crazy redhead screams about her food and punches her repeatedly. Sayaka gasps for breath. Her vision swims, and she can barely make out the fuzzy face of her attacker. The rest of the classroom seems to fade away; she can’t focus on anything but the pain. She’s going to black out, she’s sure of it…

 _Are you just going to take this, Sayaka Miki?_ some part of her brain shouts. _Are you, Sayaka? Is that the kind of person you are, you coward?_

No, she isn’t just going to take this! Even if the other girl clearly has the upper hand, Sayaka Miki is not going to meekly let herself be beat up. With all her remaining strength and focus, she punches her attacker in the face, and the satisfying sound of her fist cracking a nose rings through the air.

That’s when a teacher finally manages to break them up.

/

“In all my years of teaching, I have never, ever seen anything like this! Two girls, fighting in the classroom like - like animals!” the teacher says, fanning himself as if he’s about to faint. What a weakling! Sayaka had to deal with actually almost fainting because some crazy chick pummeled her to the ground for no reason! It’s the same teacher who caught her with the cell phone yesterday, with the birdlike nose and beady eyes.

The guidance counselor, a short, stout man with dark circles under his eyes and thinning gray hair that barely conceals his bald patch, listens to the teacher and rubs his head. “Kazamino Senior High prides itself on producing upstanding citizens and servicing the community! This kind of behavior from Kazamino Senior High girls is absolutely unacceptable!”

“She started it!” Sayaka says, the exact same time that the other girl says the same thing. The two of them turn and glare at each other.

“I was defending myself! She just started attacking me for _no_ reason, and I had to fight back, otherwise I would’ve been destroyed! The girl’s absolutely crazy!” Sayaka says, while the other girl babbles about how Sayaka “provoked her” and “wasted her food.”

“Silence!” says the counselor, a purple vein prominently throbbing in his head. Sayaka immediately stops talking, and even the crazy redhead has the sense to shut up.

The counselor rubs his head again. They all sit in complete silence for a few seconds before he finally speaks. “Sayaka Miki and Kyoko Sakura, you will be punished by having to clean the school grounds every morning for the next two weeks. In addition, we will be calling your parents.”

“That’s it?” says the teacher indignantly. “Students like this deserve corporal punishment!”

“I think they’ve corporally punished each other enough,” say the counselor, eying Sayaka’s bruises and the blood on the face of the other girl - who Sayaka now knows is named Kyoko. Sayaka herself looks at Kyoko’s bloody nose, and she knows she shouldn’t, but she feels an immense sense of pride welling in her. That jerkass deserved it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> tbh idk how discipline in japanese schools typically work, but the sources i could find said that they tend not to suspend students? so that's why they didn't get suspended ... but i don't read japanese so the only sources i could find probably weren't the greatest


	3. she doesn't care. mostly.

New day of school, new bus.

Sayaka’s really getting tired of walking onto a different bus full of different people every morning, but because of her new punishment, she needs to get to school by at least 8:00. The 7:10 bus wouldn’t get her on time anymore. Which means she has to get on the nearest bus that comes before that: the 6 freaking 30 bus.

 _Fuck Kyoko Sakura_ , she thinks as she finds an empty seat. She eats the breakfast that she prepared the night before: just a simple, cold jam sandwich. After finishing up her sandwich, she attempts to sleep for the rest of the ride, but first she spends a good fifteen minutes worrying about Kyosuke.

Is he okay? Is he with Hitomi right now, laughing? She told Madoka to keep an eye on him when they’d met up after school the day before and gotten some snacks together. Madoka had fussed all over her and the fight, of course, but Sayaka luckily hadn’t broken anything. Despite the amount of scrapes she’s gotten herself into, she’s never broken anything in her life. She’s always been lucky, that way. Once when they were younger after Sayaka had fallen out of a tree trying to rescue a cat, completely unscathed, Madoka told that her body must have been good at healing itself.

Sayaka checks the time on her phone; it’s only 6:45, so Kyosuke and Hitomi aren’t even on the bus yet. There’s no need for her to worry about them like this, anyway. She rubs her eyes and tries to get a hold of herself. She should take a nap. Madoka promised that she would text her if anything interesting happens, anyway…

/

After an hour and fifteen minutes (the bus takes a route with a few more stops, which is why it takes an hour and fifteen minutes to reach school) of uncomfortably sitting and napping on a bus full of strangers, Sayaka is definitely _not_ in a good mood as she reports to the counselor’s office at 8:00 sharp. Her mood worsens when she realizes that a certain redheaded asshole hasn’t made it on time. She stands awkwardly in the office of the guidance counselor, waiting for Kyoko, not saying a word and shifting around in silence.

Kyoko ambles in at 8:05 as if she’s done nothing wrong, casually munching on a cereal bar, and Sayaka’s never in her life wanted to punch someone in the face more. Kyoko’s nose, which sports a white bandage, is practically begging to be broken again. Unfortunately, the guidance counselor is in the room, so Sayaka restrains herself.

The counselor gives Kyoko a brusque warning about being late, which Kyoko flippantly continues to eat all throughout - a warning that’s way too gentle in Sayaka’s opinion. Regardless, she swallows her temper, picks up a broom, and heads over to room 1-A.

Swallowing her temper works for a grand total of five seconds, when Sayaka hears Kyoko crunching on her bar, and whirls around with her broom raised in the air. “Are you going to work, or what?”

“I don’t see why,” Kyoko says, finishing up her bar on the other side of the room. “This classroom’s pretty clean, anyway, because we - well, whatever students were in charge of this room, anyway - cleaned it just yesterday.”

 _She has a point_ , part of Sayaka thinks. “Well that’s not important!” Sayaka says with a huff. “We’re supposed to be following instructions and cleaning up the room, so we’re going to follow instructions and clean up the room!” She gives the redhead her best glare.

Kyoko doesn’t seem affected at all. “Well, you’re the reason that I’m in this mess anyway, so you clean it up.”

That really sets her off. “ _I'm_ the reason we’re in this mess?” she shrieks. “Really? Me? I’m the one at fault for this? I’m not the one who attacked some innocent girl for no reason!”

“Innocent? No reason?” Kyoko snorts. She steps towards Sayaka menacingly, and Sayaka only lifts her head to meet her glare and refuses to let Kyoko intimidate her. “I was just minding my business, eating lunch as always, and then you started bothering me. And then - ” Kyoko raises her voice “ - you wasted my food!”

Sayaka clenches her fist around her broom, resisting the urge to smack it across the girl’s face. “You’re the one who actually started the fight! Who the hell throws someone to the ground over a half-finished lunch bento?”

“Don’t waste food in front of me. I warned you.” Kyoko takes another step forward, and instead of backing off, as she probably should, Sayaka keeps her ground. They’re so close that their noses are practically touching, and she can feel Kyoko’s breath.

She’s a hair of a second away from starting another fight with Kyoko, punishment be damned, when she hears approaching footsteps and backs away. She starts moving her broom around, trying to look like she’s really sweeping. Even Kyoko has enough sense to pick up a rag and start swiping at the white board.

“No trouble in here, girls?” the guidance counselor asks, peeking in.

“None at all!” Sayaka chirps.

“No issue,” Kyoko adds.

“Good.” The guidance counselor gives them a slightly threatening, mostly weary smile and leaves.

The rest of the cleaning session passes by without any notable incidents. Sayaka still sees out of the corner of her eye that Kyoko isn’t really putting any effort into cleaning, but whatever. She doesn’t care. Mostly.

/

One good thing about today: Sayaka finally gets a chance to join the softball club. She would have joined yesterday, but Madoka had caught whiff of the fight and forced her to go home. _You’re hurt, Sayaka! You need to rest!_ And as brave as Sayaka had wanted to act, her chest had totally been killing her. So she’d let Madoka fuss over her and take her home.

But now, Sayaka Miki is finally ready to join the softball club and crush Kyoko Sakura on the field. Back in junior high, she’d been the star player of the team, after all! Kyoko Sakura - no, not just Kyoko, the entirety of Kazamino Senior High School - won’t know what hit them!

/

“So you wanna join? Okay, cool. Can you get me a lemonade?”

Sayaka looks up at Aiko Mase, the dark-haired team captain with a crooked cap, in utter disbelief. “Excuse me?”

“A lemonade!” Aiko repeats, beaming. “From that fridge over there!” She points at a speck of white all the way at the other side of the field.

A blonde girl appears out of nowhere and wraps her arm around Aiko’s shoulders. “Make that two lemonades. I want one too!”

“Orange juice for me!” adds another girl, peeking out from behind Aiko.

“O-okay! I’ll get your drinks!” Sayaka says, recovering from her disbelief. She rushes away before other girls can give her orders. As she runs, she tries to squash down her indignation and remain positive. There’s nothing wrong with getting a couple of drinks for her new teammates! And this is good exercise - running across the field. Two lemonades and an orange juice…

Her positivity immediately evaporates at the sight of an unfortunately familiar redhead, leaning against the fridge with a drink in hand.

“I can’t believe you ran all the way over here. You’re really something,” Kyoko says with a laugh.

Sayaka frowns. “So? What’s wrong with that?” She yanks open the fridge - perhaps with more force than necessary. The fridge, though small, is very well stocked, with everything from water to soda to coffee. She finds two, thin-necked glass bottles of lemonade, but she’s having trouble finding orange juice.

“I’ve never seen anyone that excited to be a glorified butler,” Kyoko says.

“I am not a glorified butler! I just wanted to do those older girls a favor!” Sayaka says. She finds a bottle of orange juice - it was hiding in the back. She takes the drink and closes the fridge. That’s when she notices that Kyoko’s holding another unopened Diet Coke in her right hand. Surely, she doesn’t mean to down two Diet Cokes before softball practice? It seems extreme, even for her. Sayaka suddenly laughs. “You’re just a glorified butler too, aren’t you?”

“We’re freshmen. What do you expect?” Kyoko says. She finishes up her own drink and crushes the can.

“Are you even allowed to take drinks from the fridge?” Sayaka asks.

“Who cares? Apart from you, anyway.”

Sayaka bristles but tries not to let it show. Instead, she focuses on handling three drinks with two hands. The bottles of lemonade in one hand, the bottle of orange juice in the other. She turns around and says calmly, “I don’t care. You can do whatever you want.”

“Gonna go prance back to the girls?” Kyoko says.

“I do _not_ prance!” Sayaka says. She can’t help it; she turns back around. Kyoko leans against the fridge with no sign of leaving anytime soon, despite her finished drink.

“Tell you what,” says Kyoko, dropping her empty can into the trashcan next to the fridge. “I’ll race you to the batting cage.”

Sayaka raises an eyebrow. Kyoko doesn’t seem like the kind of person to propose a race out of the blue. Especially since she was making fun of her for running just a moment ago! “What does the winner get?” she ask, suspicious.

“Is that even a real question?” Kyoko responds with her typical fang-baring smirk. Before Sayaka can respond, Kyoko’s off.

 _Damn you!_ Sayaka thinks as she chases after the red-haired girl. “Hey, no fair!” she screams. “You had a head start, and I’m carrying three drinks!”

Kyoko’s laugh may be the most annoying thing she’s ever heard in her entire life. “That seems like your problem, not mine!”

Sayaka runs. Dammit, the girl’s actually fast - maybe even fast enough to win a fair race. _Fuck that_ , Sayaka thinks. She sprints faster than she has in her entire life - even faster than she used to run back when she was a track sprinter. Everything fades away: the pain in her legs and chest, the hot sun, even the thoughts of Kyosuke that are always in the back of her mind. Everything fades away except for her and the satisfying feeling of passing up Kyoko Sakura at her own game.

She arrives in front of Aiko, panting and just a second ahead of Kyoko. She holds out the lemonade, hands still trembling with adrenaline, and chokes out, “Here!”

Aiko stares at her in wonder for a beat before bursting into a grin. “You’re a funny kid. Hey thanks. I’ll take the other drinks too. Don’t worry about it.” She takes all three of the drinks from Sayaka, along with the Diet Coke from Kyoko behind her, and leaves.

“Congratulations on winning the title of best butler,” Kyoko says, back to her usual calm, unaffected demeanor.

Sayaka knows that her nonchalant, _yeah I let you win_ attitude is just a farce, though. She saw the furious, disbelieving look on Kyoko’s face when Sayaka passed by. Plus, Kyoko is still out of breath like nobody’s business. Two can play at this game, though.

“Thanks,” she says casually.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> why did i ever think a multichap would be a good idea..... i'm dying madoka  
> these two are fun to write, though (when i'm not dying)


	4. we'll see about that

On the way to the bus stop, she runs into Madoka and Homura.

“I’m glad that we can at least take the bus home together, even if we won’t be able to take the bus to school for a while,” Madoka says cheerfully as they head in the same direction.

“Do Kyosuke and Hitomi take this bus too?” Sayaka asks, as casually as she can.

It’s Homura who responds. “Hitomi does. Kyosuke doesn’t.”

Sayaka wonders briefly how and why Homura knows. Does Homura have a thing for Kyosuke too? She scrutinizes the dark-haired girl; Homura, unfortunately, is as mysterious as ever. Sayaka’s never been able to read her. Madoka seems to trust her, but Madoka would trust anyone. She’s way too soft.

“Oh yes, Kyosuke’s very busy preparing for his violin competition, so he stays late at the school working with one of the teachers,” Madoka explains.

A competition? Sayaka should know this. How is it that Madoka and even Homura know this, and Sayaka doesn’t? She’s supposed to be one of his closest friends after all, his childhood friend. Maybe she should call him later tonight, but she doesn’t want to look desperate. Would that make her look desperate? It’s perfectly natural for friends to want to catch up, right?

“Sayaka, the bus is here!” Madoka says, pulling at her hand and snapping her out of her thoughts.

Oh. Right. “I’m coming! Thanks, Madoka.”

/

She sits next to Madoka on the bus, and Homura, again, sits in the row behind them by herself. Or at least, she tries to sit by herself, but Hitomi requests to sit beside with a smile too polite for anyone to refuse.

“How was softball practice, Sayaka? No fights today?” Madoka asks.

Sayaka shrugs. “It was fine. The older girls made me run some of their errands, but then we also did some legitimate practice drills and stuff. And yeah, no fights. Although it was hard. Madoka, you don’t understand. This girl - Kyoko - she’s just _ugh_.” She’s tempted to go off on a thirty minute rant about Kyoko Sakura, but she contains herself. Madoka probably doesn’t want to hear her complaints. “Anyway, how’s art club, right? You and Homura joined?”

“Mmhmm! It’s really fun! Want to see what I drew?” Madoka’s already shuffling around her backpack. She takes out a notebook and flips open to the first page, where she’s doodled various pictures of herself wearing a fluffy pink dress with lots of frills and bows.

“You look like an anime heroine! It’s super cute,” Sayaka says with a laugh.

“Thank you.” Madoka flushes a bit. “It’s not that good. It was just a warm-up sketch. The club President told us to draw ourselves in something other than what we wear to school.”

“I think it’s good, Madoka! And the drawing’s very you.” She can easily picture Madoka wearing the very same outfit and fighting for justice while looking adorable. “Ah, I really wish we were in the same class this year.”

“We can still hang outside of school!” Madoka reassures her. “In fact, do you want to come over Saturday after school?”

“That sounds great!” Sayaka says.

“Ooh, I have an idea! We can all spend time to get to know each other. I’m going to talk to Homura and Hitomi too.” Before Sayaka can stop her, Madoka turns around to the seats behind them and invites Homura and Hitomi.

Hitomi turns her down apologetically; she has tea ceremony lessons after school. Homura agrees, although she does give Sayaka a weary look. Sayaka sends her a weary look right back. It should be an interesting Saturday.

/

Her parents come home unusually early that night, at six PM. Sayaka’s in the middle of cooking some curry for dinner. It’s an old recipe, and it’s going pretty well. When she hears the door open, it’s so unexpected that she grabs a knife just in case.

“Something smells good,” her mom says, stepping into the kitchen. She opens up her arms, and Sayaka immediately sets down the knife and runs into her mom’s arms. Her mom squeezes her tightly, but not too tightly, and Sayaka closes her eyes and wishes she didn’t have to let go. 

“Better watch that stove, kiddo,” her dad says, already at the stove and stirring the curry. “Don’t worry. I’ve got it.”

“I wasn’t expecting you to come home so early! I don’t have enough curry for all three of us…” Sayaka says, letting go of her mom and walking up to her dad by the stove. 

“What else is in the house? We can whip up something really fast. We’re not in a hurry,” her dad says, and then he looks at her mom, and the two of them burst into laughter. 

“What? What’s the joke?” Sayaka asks, looking back and forth at each of her parents.

“The joke is that we’re always in a hurry. Always working towards that deadline. Always crunched for time,” her mom explains. She stretches her back and yawns. “Not tonight, though.”

“Is work really that hard?” Sayaka asks, peeking into the refrigerator. She happens to have enough ingredients on hand for three helpings of curry. Yeah, she could pull this off.

“Well, work is the same it’s always been, Sayaka. Lots of stress and lots of time. Too many overtime hours and too many weekends. But it’s alright. Your father and I can handle it, and we think it’s worth it to be able to do what we love and create video games. We’re only sorry that we don’t get to spend more time with you,” her mom explains. She comes behind her and ruffles her hair.

“It’s okay, Mom! And Dad too. I understand,” Sayaka says. She knows that her parents love her and work their hardest as video game developers to support her. It’s not their faults that their new company and new projects are very demanding. They used to take more time off from work and spend more time with her when she was younger - her mom actually took a five year break after Sayaka was born - but as Sayaka grew up and proved to be capable of taking care of herself, her parents started to devote more of their time to their careers.

She doesn’t begrudge her parents at all for working so hard. She just appreciates the time she has with them. Like now, as she cooks dinner with her parents. As they cut potatoes together, they ask each other questions and swap stories about the past few months. They measure out just the right amount of spices, and she chuckles awkwardly at her parents’ bad jokes.

They get to eat the fruits (well, curry) of their labor, and she watches her parents and thinks about how they interact. They’re so similar, and Sayaka’s always thought that’s why they work. They’re both enthusiastic video game nerds with a penchant for terrible jokes. 

/

After debating with herself for fifteen minutes, Sayaka does end up calling Kyosuke later that night. Her hand shakes as she dials. _Pull yourself together!_ she scolds herself. Sayaka is definitely not nervous about calling an old friend! She pulls at a loose thread on her blue cotton pajama top as she waits for Kyosuke to pick up.

He picks up after an agonizing fifteen seconds. “Hey, Sayaka.” The mere sound of his voice makes her heart beat faster.

“Hi!” Her voice sounds unnaturally high. She coughs and thankfully manages to sound more natural. “Just wanted to ask you about how school is an all. I feel like we haven’t talked in forever; I mean, not since school started. So how are you?”

“I’m good. School’s rather intense, but I’m managing. Everyone here is so talented. It’s really pushing me to be my best at the violin.” She can picture Kyosuke’s expression on the other side of the line: the serious yet dreamy one he always wears when he talks about the violin.

“It’s great that you work so hard.” _It’s what I love about you_ , she almost says. “I, uh, Madoka told me about a competition?”

“Oh yeah. It’s a big one. I meant to invite you, but I didn’t see you on the bus, and then I forgot. I heard you got into a bit of trouble.”

Sayaka flushes red - whether out of anger or embarrassment, she can’t tell. Probably both. Fucking Kyoko Sakura. “Just a tiny fight. The other girl completely started it! She’s totally nuts!”

“Still, you should try to stay out of trouble next time,” Kyosuke says disapprovingly. Sayaka deflates in her chair.

“Yeah, you’re right. I’ll try my best to,” Sayaka says. “So -”

“Sorry, but I have to go,” Kyosuke interrupts. “I have a lot of homework, and my mom is yelling at me to get to work.”

“Right. Okay, good luck. Bye!” She pulls her phone away and sighs. Kyosuke must be really, really busy with his big music competition and school on top of that. She just hopes she wasn’t _too_ much of a bother.

/

Friday passes by with little incident - that is to say, no fights with Kyoko. Kyoko’s late with a snack bar in hand, again, to their early morning classroom cleaning, but Sayaka stays away and doesn’t let the girl rustle her. She remembers what she told Kyosuke last night. Sayaka isn’t going to let Kyoko bother her anymore - not during the morning, not during class, not during lunch, not even during softball practice.

That is, until Aiko finishes up her lemonade (graciously provided by Sayaka, of course) and drops a bomb on them. “Aight, girls. Friday - that’s today! - is the last day that we’re accepting newbie recruits. This week is honestly just fooling around. But Monday, when Coach Ishido arrives, is when the real season starts. And Monday, also, is where we’re going to start tryouts! Coach likes to do extended tryouts and really take her time picking. There’s a dozen spots for Varsity, a dozen for junior varsity, and the rest of you will just, you know, not be on the team.”

Looking at the thirty girls around her, Sayaka begins to scope out her competition. The trio over there seem like they’re more interested in socializing than playing. The group of girls over there are definitely experienced; they were possibly on the team last year too, based not only on their skill but also on the way they were bossing her around for drinks earlier…

Then Sayaka shakes herself out of it. It’s not good for her to compare herself. She just needs to try her very best and not get distracted by other people. And hopefully she’ll make it onto Varsity.

“Think _you_ can make it onto Varsity, butler?” an unfortunately familiar voice next to her drawls.

Sayaka scowls on reflex and turns to Kyoko. “You’re a butler too. I’ve got just as much of a chance as you do!”

“You know, the Varsity team is pretty much already picked. Pretty much everyone knows who the girls are going to be - I mean, unless they’re a newb like you. Want me to point them out?”

“No!”

Kyoko, naturally, ignores her. “To begin with, Aiko. She’s not officially team captain yet, because the team hasn’t been chosen, but she was team captain last year so it’s pretty much a given - yeah, as a second year. She’s that good. Now, that girl over there.” Kyoko points at a chubby girl with pink streaks in her dark hair. “She hits like nobody’s business, and rumor has it she got a fancy new coach over the summer.” Kyoko’s finger moves to point at a girl with a blonde pixie cut. “She’s the best pitcher in the district. Now, the five girls over there.” Kyoko points at the group of girls that Sayaka was looking at just a moment ago. “All seniors and returning players. Killer at defense.” She stretches to point at a girl far away by the fridge. “A freshman just like us, but she’s here on a softball scholarship. Need I say more?” Then she points at a pair by in the field tossing balls to each other. “And those two, I just have a feeling about them.”

Sayaka frowns, looking down at her fingers. “That’s only eleven players.”

“The twelfth player will be myself, obviously,” Kyoko says.

It takes all of Sayaka’s willpower to resist punching Kyoko’s smirk right off her ugly face. “We’ll see about that,” she says through gritted teeth.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> kind of a filler chapter, but necessary imo


	5. do not fight her

It begins innocently enough.

After softball practice ends at five PM, Sayaka decides to take a lap around the softball field to get in an extra bit of conditioning before tryouts and all.

The problem is that Kyoko follows her. Sayaka scowls and tries to ignore her, speeding up. Kyoko catches up. Sayaka speeds up. Kyoko catches up again, and this time, she sends Sayaka an irritating little smirk as she takes the lead.

Sayaka means to stop after one lap, really, but when Kyoko continues onto a second lap - well, Sayaka can’t just back off! She can’t just let Kyoko think that she’s _won_. So she continues to run - okay, sprint, really - until she passes Kyoko by, waving a bit as she runs past. Sure, it’s petty, but Kyoko’s the one who started this! Unfortunately, her victory is short-lived because Kyoko soon regains the lead.

The next thing she knows, she’s on her fourth? fifth? lap, and sweat is pouring down her back, and her lungs are about to burst, and her legs are screaming, and her heart is begging for a break, and Kyoko Sakura is _right on her fucking tail_ , and she is not going to let her win, god damn it! She’s not going to let Kyoko pass her again - nope, Sayaka is going to win! She’s exhausted - more than exhausted - but Kyoko has to be too, and eventually, one of them is going to stop. And that person is _not_ going to be her. Not if she has anything to -

_Crash!_

Sayaka’s face slams into the dust. She struggles to get up, but her vision is swimming, and it’s impossible to focus on anything - let alone getting up. She manages to sit up, and she coughs, trying to get the dirt out of her mouth. She’s in so much pain - she thought she was in pain before, but now she’s in more. Her arms are bleeding. Her legs are too; she can see the blood seeping through her pants. She tries to breathe, but she just ends up coughing more dirt. She tries again, and this time she succeeds in getting some greedy gulps of air. With a shaking hand, she touches her nose. It feels intact - her entire face feels alright, in fact. She takes a few more deep breaths. Her head feels clearer, and her vision’s returning too. She doesn’t think she can stand up, though.

She looks up when she notices a dark shadow in front of her. Of course it has to be Kyoko Sakura, covering the sun. The sunlight behind her frames her hair like a halo. But Kyoko is definitely no angel. Why is she even here, anyway? Come to gloat?

To her surprise, Kyoko reaches out a hand. “Need help?”

Sayaka glares at her. She very pointedly turns away. Why is she offering help? That’s a very un-Kyoko-like thing to do. Maybe it’s because she feels guilty! Because she’s the reason why Sayaka fell! “You tripped me!” Sayaka accuses - except she’s very much out of breath, so she can’t sound as angry as she really feels.

“Did not! You fell on your own, you clumsy oaf,” Kyoko says, immediately withdrawing her hand. She’s also heavily out of breath, but her anger still reaches Sayaka loud and clear.

Sayaka glares harder. “I know it was you! I distinctly remember.” To be honest, she doesn’t actually remember what happened before she fell - everything happened much too quickly. But it must have been Kyoko!

“Stop blaming me for your own problems. You probably fell because your shoe was untied.”

“It is no -” Sayaka stops mid-sentence when she notices that Kyoko is right. Her shoe _is_ untied. Damn. Maybe Kyoko didn’t actually trip her. “Well, whatever.”

Kyoko mutters something under her breath that Sayaka doesn’t entirely catch, but she thinks she hears the words _stubborn bitch._

“Say that again?” Sayaka asks, keeping her tone sweet.

Kyoko sends her an equally saccharine smile. “I said, why can’t you just admit when you’re wrong, you stubborn bitch?”

“Because you’re an asshole!”

“And you’re still wrong and owe me an apology!”

“Me? What the hell should I be apologizing for?”

“God, I just want to punch you sometimes - no, all of the time!”

“Oh, you wanna fight? I’ll punch you first!”

“Tch! You can’t even get up! You can’t fight!”

On the ground, Sayaka seethes. Deep down, she knows that Kyoko is in the right. She didn’t trip her, and maybe it was a little rude of her to accuse her, and maybe it’s a little rude that she’s refusing to apologize. Also, she’s in no shape to fight right now.

But Kyoko’s still an asshole, and she can prove her wrong in one aspect. Sayaka takes a deep breath and forces herself to stand up. Her vision swims for a moment, but she quickly reorients herself.

“You were saying?” Sayaka asks smugly. She feels like childishly sticking out her tongue, but she restrains herself and turns around. “Well, lucky for you, I don’t think you’re worth a fight.”

Kyoko snorts. “Ha! Scared of losing?”

Gritting her teeth, Sayaka walks (more like limps) away. She tries to imagine Kyosuke’s disapproving face, but the only thing she can conjure is Kyoko’s taunting smirk. _Do not fight her, do not fight her, do not fight her_ … She’s thankfully distracted by scooping up her backpack from the edge of her field and drawing out her phone. The first thing she notices is several text notifications from Madoka. She reads _Sayaka, where are you? The bus is going to leave!_

Shit.

As she kind of runs, mostly limps and wheezes her way to the bus stop, she curses Kyoko Sakura every painful step of the way. She has never hated anyone else more in her entire life - not even that punk in kindergarten who made Madoka cry! She remembers the satisfying crack of her nose and imagines breaking the redhead’s nose again.

She barely makes it to the bus. Madoka’s in the middle of begging the bus driver to stay when Sayaka barrels into the scene.

“Sayaka!” Madoka exclaims happily. Her smile immediately fades, however. “What happened to you?”

Sayaka grimaces. She must look like a mess, with her sweaty hair and red face and dirty, bleeding clothes. Everyone on the bus is staring at her as if she’s some sort of freak. God, she is going to _murder_ Kyoko Sakura. Brutally.

“Um, it’s a long story,” she mumbles. She slides into the nearest seat and wonders if she can just disappear. She was upset yesterday that Kyosuke wasn’t on their bus, but today she’s glad. She wouldn’t ever be able to show her face again if Kyosuke were to see her like this. She wishes everyone on the bus would just disappear.

Madoka sits down beside her. Thankfully, she doesn’t ask too many questions; she just whips out a first aid kit and starts fussing. “Sayaka, that must hurt so much! We’ll get home, and I’ll get you some more help, with my mom, but I can clean your arms, at least.”

“Where did you get that?” Sayaka asks, eying the large, fully stocked kit.

“Homura had it,” Madoka explains.

“I carry it with me at all times,” Homura says. Sayaka nearly jumps out of her seat with surprise; she hadn’t realized that Homura was in the seat right behind her.

Meanwhile, Madoka pulls out an antiseptic pad. “This is going to sting, okay?”

“I can take it - ahhh.” Sayaka hisses. She tries to put on a brave face around Madoka, usually, but damn it, this really hurts!

“Ah, I’m so sorry!” Madoka looks incredibly apologetic, but she continues to wipe Sayaka’s scraped forearms without mercy. “It’s just, there’s a lot of dirt… How did this even happen, Sayaka? Did you get into another fight?”

“I just tripped,” Sayaka says. God, that sounds so lame. She almost wishes that she’d gotten into another fight with Kyoko - no, she _really_ wishes she’d gotten into another fight with Kyoko. That asshole deserves to be twice as much pain as Sayaka is in now!

Madoka frowns. “Be more careful next time, okay Sayaka? You still have bruises from your fight… now this!”

“It’s nothing serious,” Sayaka says. “Just a couple scratches.”

Madoka pouts as she reaches for a large band-aid. “Please, promise you won’t get into any more trouble.”

That’s the second time that someone’s told her to stay out of trouble. She’s trying, really. It’s just that trouble seems to be finding her. And trouble happens to be an abrasive redhead with sharp teeth and a stick of Pocky in her mouth.

“I can’t,” Sayaka decides. “There’s a girl I need to pay back revenge on. I need to serve justice!”

Madoka’s face falls. She’s giving her a full on puppy dog pout now, with her big sad eyes and . “Please? Can’t you serve justice nonviolently?”

“I -” She stops mid-sentence. Actually, she can. She _can_ serve justice nonviolently - by making it on the varsity softball team. And taking Kyoko out.

“Alright,” she concedes. “I’ll serve justice nonviolently - this time.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> it took me 2 weeks to write a chapter this short? yes yes it did [shrug emoji]


	6. the actual moment of truth

On Monday afternoon, Sayaka struts onto the softball field like she owns it.

She practiced all weekend - even blowing off plans with Madoka and Homura for some extra drills on the field in Mitakihara Park. She got nine hours of sleep the night before. And she ate her favorite breakfast of whole grain toast with peanut butter and bananas with a glass of almond milk.

She’s felt restless the entire day - from her early morning classroom cleaning with Kyoko, to her boring classes, to her lunch during which she very pointedly ignored Kyoko, to right now. But as she steps onto the field, she feels a sense of calm permeate through her senses. She’s in her zone.

/

Coach Ishido isn’t quite what Sayaka expected.To begin with, she’s a lot younger. She’s quite short, too. Sayaka honestly would have mistaken her for a student if Aiko hadn’t yelled, “Hey Coach!” from across the field.

Despite her youth and size, Coach Ishido doesn’t mess around. Sayaka can immediately tell from her elaborate braided hairdo. She’s starting to feel all nervous and jumpy again, but she calms herself down as she retrieves her usual lemonade for Aiko.

Aiko seems surprised as she accepts the drink. “I didn’t even have to ask!” she says with a laugh. She looks at Sayaka - _really_ looks at Sayaka - for the first time and grins. “You know what, I like you. Good luck with the tryouts.”

Score! Sayaka looks around to see if a certain redhead overheard. Unfortunately, Kyoko is nowhere to be seen. What a shame. She would have loved to see the look on her face.

But whatever. This isn’t about Kyoko at all! It’s about Sayaka trying her very best and the enjoyment that she derives from softball. Okay, it’s totally about Kyoko. The mere thought of her stupid face fills her with a renewed sense of motivation as the group of girls begin their stretches. While she leans left, stretching out her hamstring, she catches Kyoko staring at her from the other side of the group.

It’s on.

/

As Coach Ishido explains the details of the tryout process, Sayaka stands straight and listens intently. The process will take two or three days, depending on how long the girls take. It’s a pretty typical tryout, the kind that Sayaka anticipated. They’ll be tested on their ability to bat against a pitching machine, catch fly and ground balls, throw to home at shortstop, and run towards bases. The tryout process will end with a scrimmage game.

They line up behind the batting cage. The older girls all vote to have the newbies bat first. Sayaka eyes some of the other freshmen girls. The trio behind her, who all wear faded orange Kazamino Junior High School t-shirts, are whispering nervously to each other. The freshman girl that Kyoko had pointed out was on a softball scholarship looks bored. Also, she has great biceps, but that’s irrelevant. (Or maybe it’s not?)

Sayaka’s nervous. The sense of calm she felt earlier has evaporated. She’s trying to hide it, she’s trying to squash it, but damn, she is. She’s really nervous.

She’s drawn out of her thoughts by the obnoxious sound of Kyoko munching on a stack of potato chips from a can. She turns around and gives the redhead her best glare. Honestly, is now really the time to eat? Kyoko continues to eat her potato chips. She even crunches extra loudly - just to piss off Sayaka.

“Alright, so which of you freshmen want to go first?” Coach Ishido asks, peeking out from behind the pitching machine.

“Sayaka wants to go first,” Kyoko says, addressing the coach.

“What?” Sayaka bursts out, her heart a nervous mishmash of beats.

Kyoko merely eyes Sayaka coolly, not even bothering to turn her head, as if to ask, _You gonna back down from that, butler?_

“Sorry, I couldn’t catch that,” Coach Ishido says.

Sayaka steps onto the plate. “Me. I’m going first.”

Her hands may be sweaty, but they don’t shake as she grips the bat. As she peers through her helmet, she imagines that the yellow ball hurtling towards her is Kyoko Sakura and swings with all her might.

/

Kyoko hits more pitches than her, but Sayaka catches more fly balls. Kyoko throws home faster, but Sayaka runs faster. And although she and Kyoko are both trying to pretend that the other’s performance doesn’t affect them, Sayaka can’t help but to smugly smile with every success and scowl every time Kyoko gives her a smug smile of her own.

The tryout takes three days, and although she’s only on the field for six hours of those three days, it completely consumes her. She practices nonstop and watches YouTube videos on how to improve her form and even dreams about softball.

Madoka drops by on the first day with a jar of cream for her old scars and bruises, recommended by her mom, and professes that she’s worried about her.

“Don’t worry about me, Madoka!” Sayaka insists. “I’m totally taking care of myself. Eating healthy, unlike _somebody_ who brought a stack of potato chips to tryouts, and stretching carefully before all my workouts, and drinking a ton of water, and sleeping nine hours a night. I need to be in the best possible shape possible if I’m going to dominate these tryouts!” She curls her hand into a fist and raises it high into the air.

“But I can’t help worrying,” Madoka says nervously. She pulls on one of her pink pigtails.

“I promise to put on this cream from your mom, Madoka, if that’ll make you feel better.”

Madoka nods and brightens up a bit. “Okay! Good luck on your tryouts, Sayaka. I really really hope you make it.”

Sayaka speaks with more confidence than she really has. “I told you, don’t worry about me, Madoka! Of course I’ll make it on the team.”

/

The sun is way too bright during their scrimmage game on the final day of tryouts. Even with her trusty softball cap, she finds herself squinting from time to time.

Kyoko’s at the bat. From her place at second base, Sayaka wills her to miss the ball with her glare. The pitcher, one of the senior girls, lets loose the first ball: a blurry streak of a fastball.

Kyoko hits it.

The ball flies into the air, and Sayaka curses the sun as she tracks it. But no, she can’t let herself get distracted now, not by the sun! The ball lands in the outfield, and one of the outfielders - a second year student, Sayaka thinks - runs for it.

Meanwhile, Kyoko makes it onto first base and passes it by. She’s heading for Sayaka now, and Sayaka’s begging the outfielder to _hurry up, hurry up, hurry up._  Yes, she’s got it! It’s up to Sayaka now. She turns and opens up her glove. The ball lands true, like an arrow lodging into its target. As Kyoko sprints past, Sayaka roughly tags her.

“Out!” she shrieks.

“Safe!” Kyoko shrieks at the same time.

“I tagged you out first!” Sayaka says, waving her softball around.

“I made it onto the base first!” Kyoko retorts, gesturing at her foot on the dusty base.

“Did not!”

“Did too!”

“You’re out!”

“I’m safe!”

A loud whistle interrupts them. It’s Coach Ishido, wearing an amused expression. She clears her throat loudly and makes her judgment. “She was safe.”

“Ha!” Kyoko yells.

“Humph!” Sayaka says, crossing her arms and turning away. She’s fuming, and she definitely has some _better_ words for both Kyoko and the coach, but she restrains herself. She needs Coach Ishido to like her so that she’ll get on the team… Arguing with the coach is a bad idea… Getting into a fight with Kyoko right in front of the coach is a bad idea… A bad… She clenches her fist… idea…

For the rest of the game, Sayaka plays harder than she ever has in her entire life. She tags out the player directly after Kyoko, and when it’s her time to bat, she hits a solid home run. Okay, it’s really more of a triple, but Sayaka sprints to _make_ it a home run. She dashes towards first base as if Kyoko is directly in front of her, and she needs to catch up. She bolts around second base as if she knows she can throttle Kyoko if she makes it to the other side. Her lungs splutter, and her legs scream, and she runs past third base and towards home. This is it - she might be able to do this if she slides.

It is not a graceful slide. It’s messy and dusty and a little painful. Okay, very painful, but the momentum brings her right onto home plate. The dust clears. Her blood pounds in her ears. She’s not a religious person, but she prays to whatever god or spirit above that this was worth it.

After an eternal second, Coach Ishido yells, “Safe!”

Even with her fuzzy vision and jumbled head, Sayaka locates Kyoko and remembers to give her a big shiny grin.

/

Kyoko’s team wins the scrimmage game, mostly because they had a stack of seniors, including Aiko. That’s what Sayaka tells herself, anyway. It doesn’t matter because Sayaka’s certain that her performance was more stellar than Kyoko’s. That’s what the new bruises on legs are telling her.

 _Man, Madoka’s gonna be all worried_ , Sayaka thinks to herself as she walks to the bus stop. Oh well. It was worth it.  

/

Here it is. This is the moment of truth. The moment where she’ll find out whether she’s on the team or not. Sayaka walks across the field, towards the batting cage where the results will be attached. She bursts into a run…  

/

“Miss Miki! Miss Miki!”

Sayaka wakes up in the middle of class to the sound of the classroom’s giggles and a rather upset science teacher glaring at her.

Curse Mrs. Okazaki. Kyoko sleeps in class all the time and never gets caught! Why does she just have the worst luck? This feels like a bad omen.

“Miss Miki, now that you are back with us, would you like to explain RNA primers to the class?”

What does that even mean? Sayaka looks down at her notes, desperately hoping that she’d scribbled down something useful, but her notes have nothing but doodles of softballs, Kyoko, and softballs smacking Kyoko in the face.

She feels herself turning red. “Uh, I…”

Mrs. Okazaki tsks. “Pay attention next time, would you? I’ll let you off this time. Consider this a warning.” She returns to the board and continues lecturing.

Sayaka sinks in her seat, mortified. She flips onto a new page of her notebook and starts writing notes instead. This definitely feels like a bad omen.

/

Here it is. This is the _actual_ moment of truth. It’s not a dream this time; Sayaka pinched herself to make sure. She starts out walking because she doesn’t want to seem too desperate, but then she sees Kyoko and decides to damn it all to hell. She _needs_ to know. She runs.

Girls are already crowded around the list. Sayaka tries her best to politely shove her way to the front. And then there it is. The list is right in front of her. She’s almost too scared to look. But no, Sayaka Miki does not get scared! She confronts the list. The varsity girls are listed right on top. _Aiko Mase, Kimi Umebayashi, Etsu Shiraishi, Michie Umesaka, Akira Toma, Sayaka Miki_ …

She stops reading. She claps a hand over her mouth so that she doesn’t scream in relief and pure ecstasy. Her legs are shaking. She did it! _She did it!_ She turns around, looking for Kyoko, so that she can see the devastation on her ugly face, but she finds Kyoko smiling instead. Huh? Confused, Sayaka turns back to the list and continues reading.

_Himeka Kashiwagi, Utako Togoshi, Shizue Kimoto, Sai Hamamoto, Homi Sako, Kyoko Sakura…_

God fucking damn it all to hell.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> wow kyoko and sayaka both get on the team?? who could have seen that coming? xDD  
> ok here’s the thing i’m a fake lesbian i actually know nothing about softball so this chapter was really hard  
> why did i decide to write a softball au when i’ve played 0.5 games of softball my entire life  
> idk i make bad life decisions


	7. teammates now!

When Sayaka drags herself to the bus stop after practice, she’s greeted by a wildly waving Madoka and an aloof Homura.

“Hey,” Sayaka says, trying not to sound grumpy. It’s been two hours since she had her unfortunate moment of truth, but she’s still not really over it. When she thinks about how she’s going to have to deal with being on the same team as Kyoko… she suppresses a shudder.

“How did the tryouts turn out?” Madoka asks. When Sayaka can’t hide her scowl, Madoka puts her hand on her shoulder and says gently, “Sayaka, it’s okay. There’s always next year.”

“Huh? If Kyoko made it on the team this year, why wouldn’t she make it next year?” The weight of what Sayaka’s really signed up for suddenly hits her. “Oh no!” she moans. “I’m going to be stuck with her for the next _three years_!”

“What?” Madoka scrunches her eyebrows in a confused manner. “Wait, so did you make it onto the team?”

“Yeah.”

“But you’re upset because -”

“Because Kyoko made it onto the team too!” Sayaka laments.

Understanding dawns upon Madoka’s face, followed by a big smile. She suddenly attacks Sayaka with a hug. “Sayaka, I’m so happy that you made it onto the team! You worked so hard. Nobody deserves it more than you. You should be celebrating!”

Although a bit surprised, Sayaka hugs Madoka back. “You’re right. I can’t let Kyoko steal my moment like this.”

“Mmhmm! Plus, you and Kyoko are teammates now! I’m sure she won’t be any trouble anymore.”

Sayaka wishes she shared her best friend’s optimism. She manages to muster a somewhat convincing, “Yeah.” It’s a good thing Madoka can’t see her face because thinking about Kyoko always makes her look like she’s eaten something very sour.

“Madoka, the bus,” Homura interrupts. Sayaka swears that the dark-haired girl is glaring at her. Honestly, what is that girl’s issue?

Madoka pulls away from the hug. “Oh right! Thanks, Homura.”

/

It isn’t until the bus starts moving that Sayaka realizes someone’s missing. “Hey, where’s Hitomi?”

“Practicing! She mentioned this morning that she’s learning a new song,” Madoka explains.

“Oh.” That’s a shame. Sayaka was never as close with Hitomi as she was with Madoka. She and Madoka have known each other since elementary school, after all. But Hitomi was one of her best friends throughout middle school - even if she was frequently busy with her various extracurricular activities. Kyosuke wasn’t the only reason why Sayaka wanted to go to Kazamino Senior High so badly. But she doesn’t see the point in going to schools so close to each other if they’re barely going to talk - not just her and Hitomi, but her and Kyosuke too. She misses them both.

“We should meet up over the weekend!” Madoka suggests. “Hitomi and Kyosuke can’t be practicing _all_ the time, right?”

Sayaka’s about to agree, but she hesitates. “Well, I’ll have to look at the softball practice schedule. But I’ll try my best! I won’t be practicing all the time either.”

“Well, I’m pretty much always free,” Madoka says, rubbing the back of her head sheepishly. “Homura, what about you?”

Of course Madoka’s inviting Homura as well. They seem to have gotten quite close. It’s just like Madoka to pick up strays. Sayaka figures she ought to get used to the dark-haired girl’s presence, even if she doesn’t entirely trust her.

Homura shrugs. “I have time.”

Madoka nods and turns back to Sayaka. “Just let me know, okay?”

“I will,” Sayaka promises.

/

 _Just a little over a week left_ , Sayaka reassures herself as she trudges into classroom 1A to serve her punishment. Kyoko is nowhere to be seen. She must be late again. Sayaka hopes that guidance counselor gives Kyoko what she deserves, but more often than not, the dumb guidance counselor seems to look the other way.

At 8:02, Kyoko saunters in. Sayaka hears her before she sees her. That irritating crunch of the cereal bar is unmistakable. Sayaka’s fist automatically clenches around her broom. She turns to give Kyoko a piece of her mind but forgets what she was going to say upon the sight of Kyoko wearing a varsity jacket.

Sayaka wishes that her first thought was something like _Where the hell did she get that?_ or _Why don’t I have one of those jackets yet?_ Sadly, her first thought is actually _Damn, she looks good_. The jacket is a deep forest green - so much nicer than the barf green of the uniforms, and Kyoko rocks it casually with her hands in the pockets and a smirk and the boys’ khaki uniform pants.

Sayaka feels her face turn red - with anger, of course! “Where the hell did you get that? Why don’t I have one of those jackets yet?”

Kyoko shrugs in an absolutely infuriating manner. “Just found it.”

“Ha! Okay! So it wasn’t given to you. So it isn’t really even _yours_. Why are you even wearing that? Is that even within the school dress code?” She’s babbling, but she can’t help but babble when she’s flustered.

“Yeah, yeah, it is. But jeez, who even cares?” Kyoko picks up a rag and half-heartedly wipes at one of the desks.

“The dress code is important!”

Sayaka doesn’t even need to look to picture Kyoko rolling her eyes. Maybe Sayaka deserved that eye roll because even she doesn’t entirely believe in what she’s just said. She’s been guilty of pulling her skirts up a bit too high before.

“Sure it is,” Kyoko says. She picks a fleck of dust off her jacket’s sleeve. She doesn’t say anything else, and Sayaka doesn’t either. Rather, both of them channel their energy into cleaning. And if Sayaka’s sweeps are a bit more aggressive than is appropriate for the situation - well, that has nothing to do with Kyoko, okay?

/

Sayaka’s doodling softballs in the margins of her notes when her teacher passes back the results of the math quiz from that Monday. The paper slides onto her desk, and upon one glance Sayaka wants to sink down into her seat and just slowly disappear.

64\. She got a 64.

In her defense, math was definitely the last thing on her mind on Monday - she had tryouts to handle! And math in this school is ridiculously hard. And she never liked math that much to begin with. But still. Sayaka was an excellent student back in middle school; it’s how she got into this school, after all. The score bothers her. A lot. She shoves the paper into her binder and tries to forget about it.

/

She tries her best to avoid Kyoko at softball practice. She’s definitely still not over the fact that she might have to spend the next _three years_ on the same team as the redheaded asshole. But Sayaka’s not going to back out. Not after she worked so hard to get here.

After the time period for grabbing drinks for the older girls and stretching is over, Coach Ishido has a new base running drill for them. It’s similar to a relay race. She splits the team into half and places one group at home base and the other at second base. Each group gets a ball. They’re to run around all of the bases and then throw the ball to the next person in the line. Fairly simple. Except that she and Kyoko are put on the same team. And not only on the same team: they’re right next to each other. Kyoko’s right in front of her, and Sayaka’s the anchor of the team. Coach Ishido’s decision.

With the shriek of the coach’s whistle, the relay race begins. From her place in the back of the line, Sayaka has to strain her neck a bit to scope out the other team. The other team has Aiko and Kimi - the fastest seniors on the team - and that fast second year girl with the pink streaked hair. Sayaka’s not sure what her name is yet. Their team has that one fast blonde senior girl, and of course, Sayaka herself. Okay, and Kyoko’s pretty fast too, even if Sayaka doesn’t like to admit that. It’s going to be a neck and neck race.

“Don’t mess this up, butler,” Kyoko says threateningly as they wait for their turns to run.

The nerve of that girl! Sayaka’s trying her best to mind her own business and not start any fights, and Kyoko’s - Kyoko’s threatening her like this? Sayaka scowls. “Of course I won’t! I think you’re the one who needs to not mess this up.”

Kyoko scoffs and steps closer. “I’m not going to mess up.”

Sayaka steps forward herself, refusing to back down. She looks straight into the girl’s red eyes. “Well I’m not going to mess this up either.”

It’s almost their turn to run. Kyoko tosses Sayaka a haughty smile as she prepares for her leg of the race. “Eat my fucking dust.” And then she’s off.

The other team is ahead. The girl running against Kyoko on the other team - Homi? Himeka? - is pretty fast, but she’s not one Sayaka’s particularly worried about. She _is_ worried about the anchor of the other team - the second year girl. Her stomach’s starting to toss and turn, and she has to wipe her sweaty palms off her leggings. She takes a deep breath as Kyoko curves around third base. Sayaka focuses on the yellow ball in Kyoko’s hand; a good pass can make or break you in a relay. She reaches out -

And Kyoko fucking drops the ball.

Sayaka’s entire life flashes in front of her eyes. The ball seems to fall in slow motion, plunging towards the ground. Sayaka watches helplessly as she internally screams. Her useless arms swoop for the ball, but not quickly enough.

The ball hits the ground, and time speeds up. The rest of the relay is a bit of a blur. Sayaka picks the ball up as quickly as she can, but she can’t recover those precious seconds. She can’t do anything but continue to internally scream and curse Kyoko Sakura in very graphic ways as she runs around the bases.

They lose that race.

/

“It’s - all - your - fu - fault!” Sayaka screams the minute she reaches home base. She may be out of breath, but that sure as hell is not going to stop her from yelling with everything she has left. Not when Kyoko’s the reason they lost the race!

“My fault?! It’s your fault for not catching the ball! It’s your fault for having clumsy fingers!” Kyoko’s not nearly as out of breath as her, having had time to rest, and her ability to formulate better sentences makes Sayaka even angrier.

“You - you dropped it!” Sayaka gasps out.

“I told you, _you_ dropped it!” Kyoko shouts.

“Whoa, whoa, break it up,” says Aiko, stepping between them. “Relax. It’s just a base running drill.”

“Who’s fault was it?” Kyoko and Sayaka demand at the same time.

Aiko seems rather taken aback. “Whoa, well -”

That’s when Coach Ishido steps in. “Aiko’s right. You both need to relax. It’s just a base running drill. But beyond that, you’re in the same team now. When you’re in the same team, it’s not about whose fault it was. You two need to learn how to work together.”

Sayaka opens her mouth to apologize, but Coach Ishido isn’t done talking. She continues, “Aiko and I actually discussed this. You’re both very aggressive, which we eventually decided could be helpful on the field. But you’re not supposed to be aggressive with each other. I understand you were once rivals, but you aren’t rivals anymore. You’re teammates now. Act like it, or I’m going to kick both of you off the team. Have I made myself clear?”

“Yes Coach,” they both mumble. 

Kyoko Sakura is officially ruining her life.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> heh... it's been a while since the last update hasn't it... oh well! i will try my best to update more regularly!


	8. too late for that

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this chapter's appropriately titled "too late for that" because it's late,,

It’s late in the afternoon, and Sayaka’s standing in line with Kyoko at a cafe, wondering how the hell she let herself get dragged into this.

The cafe was Aiko’s idea. _You and Kyoko should spend some time together, on your own, to maybe work out your issues!_ Aiko said it with a casual smile, like it was merely a suggestion. But the girl next to Aiko - Himeka, the one that Sayaka’s picked up a lemonade for on more than a few occasions - had been glaring at her. Sayaka had a feeling it wasn’t really a suggestion; it was an order. Just like the ultimatum that Coach Ishido had given them. Learn how to get along or get kicked off the team.

Saturday’s practice went alright - comparatively, anyway. She and Kyoko didn’t get into another fight, but Sayaka felt the tension. She wondered if the other girls had felt it as well. They must have, if they forced her walk over to a cafe and hang out with Kyoko!

“Hey butler, you gonna order off the menu or what?” Kyoko asks, waving the menu around her face quite obnoxiously.

Sayaka snatches the menu out of Kyoko’s hand. “Yeah, I’m gonna order! Also, can you stop calling me that?”

“I’m not calling you _that_ , I’m calling you butler.”

Sayaka bristles as she opens up the menu. “Asshole,” she mutters under her breath.

“What was that?”

“Nothing,” Sayaka responds without looking up. She flips through the pages and realizes on the third page that she hasn’t really been reading anything. She’s been too busy bristling about Kyoko and the situation. She groans inwardly and forces herself to focus on the words.

“Who’s calling names now?” Kyoko accuses. “Alright, if you don’t like butler, how about I call you little bitch? Is that better?”

 _Don’t respond, she’s baiting you! She wants you to snap!_ Sayaka looks up calmly from the menu. “I think I want the green tea latte, have you decided what you want?”

Kyoko snorts. “Basic.”

“How am I being basic?” Sayaka cries indignantly. The question flies out before Sayaka can catch herself. So much for being calm.

“Only basic girls drink green tea lattes.”

“This is my first time ordering one!”

“Excuse me, have you decided on your order?” someone interrupts. The girl behind the counter smiles at them benignly.

Oh. They’ve somehow reached the front of the line. “I’ll get the green tea latte,” Sayaka says the same time that Kyoko says, “A fruit waffle, please.” Sayaka turns and glares. Kyoko glares back. Her red eyes bore into her skull. A lesser being would probably look away. Sayaka is not a lesser being.

“Sorry, I didn’t catch that,” the cashier says. Her smile seems a bit more strained now.

Sayaka glares at Kyoko for a few more moments to give the other girl a chance to speak. After waiting a full second, Sayaka says, “A green tea latte,” just as Kyoko says, “A fruit waffle, please” - once again, at the exact same time. God, this is getting ridiculous! Sayaka’s tempted to just clamp a hand over Kyoko’s mouth and speak.

“A green tea latte and a fruit waffle?” the girl thankfully deciphers. Sayaka nods instead of saying anything. Kyoko says, “Yes.” Sayaka glares at her again, but this time Kyoko isn’t looking. Humph! What gives her the right?

This was a terrible idea.

/

They’re ignoring each other now. Sitting across from each other, scrolling through their phones. Sayaka refreshes Instagram in the desperate hopes that something new will pop up. Nothing. She sends a text to Madoka, _Help! I’m stuck at a cafe with Kyoko._ Madoka doesn’t respond.

Sayaka feels relieved when their food arrives. At least she has something to do now. She sips on her green tea latte - it’s pretty good - and makes the mistake of looking across at Kyoko’s fruit waffle. It looks _amazing_. She eyes the stack of three golden waffles, topped with whipped cream and syrup and fruit. Her stomach rumbles against her own volition. Dammit, she should have ordered substantial food instead of just a drink. She’s always hungry after practice. How could have she been so stupid?

“You can’t have any,” Kyoko says, breaking their silence. She greedily stuffs a big bite of waffle into her mouth. Asshole.

“I wasn’t going to ask!” Sayaka exclaims.

“Oh yeah?” Kyoko pops a strawberry into her mouth. “Then why were you eyefucking my waffles?”

“I-I was not eyefucking your waffles!” Sayaka splutters, turning away very pointedly.

“Get your own,” Kyoko says, her mouth full of food.

“Maybe I will!” Sayaka stands up and pushes her chair in forcefully. “Bye!”

/

Ten minutes later, Sayaka’s wallet is empty, and her stomach is full. Okay, maybe it was a little petty to buy herself a stack of waffles _and_ a large slice of cake _and_ a grilled turkey sandwich with fries _and_ a bag of cream puffs. But it was totally worth it when she saw the look on Kyoko’s face as Sayaka declared, “You can’t have any.”

Having finished her own waffles, Kyoko is officially eyefucking her food, so Sayaka makes a point of enjoying her cake. Petty victory never tasted so sweet.

“Get your own,” Sayaka says, her mouth full of food.

For a second, Kyoko looks like she really might stand up and leave. But she merely glares at Sayaka (again!) and crosses her arms. “I’m broke, bitch.”

“What a shame,” Sayaka says, as she gorges shamelessly. _God, I’m also broke_ , a part of Sayaka thinks. _Shut up_ , she tells that part of herself.

“You won’t be able to finish all that,” Kyoko points out.

“Yes I will,” Sayaka says stubbornly.

“You’ll be so out of shape that you’ll fail at practice!”

“No I won’t.”

“You’ll be sick if you eat that much.”

“No I won’t,” Sayaka repeats, even as she’s starting to feel nauseous. The cake is _really_ rich.

“You’re really something, you know that?”

Sayaka doesn’t say anything. She decides to take a break from the cake and bites into her sandwich. It’s at this moment that she realizes that maybe she made a mistake. This _is_ way too much food for her to consume in one sitting. Maybe she could take home a to-go box. But then that would be admitting that Kyoko was right! Sayaka can totally finish all this! She chews her food with a renewed vigor. Kyoko’s wrong. Sayaka’s going to finish all her food, and she isn’t going to fail at practice, and she isn’t going to throw up…

Kyoko suddenly slams her palms onto the table and stands up. “You know what, Sayaka?” The use of the name alone makes Sayaka almost choke on her sandwich.

“I walked into this dumb cafe ready to actually try to get along for the sake of the goddamn softball team. But you’re absolutely just an absolutely insufferable, stubborn little bitch. I’m done here.” With one final glare, Kyoko leaves.

Sayaka sits dumbstruck for a couple moments when her phone pings. It’s Madoka. She’s finally responded. The text simply reads, _Be nice! :)_

Well, shit.

Too late for that.

/

She doesn’t have any money for the bus.

God, she feels awful. And it’s not just because of the food. She hates to admit it, but she feels… almost guilty.

And now she’s far from home with a box of half eaten food (After Kyoko left, Sayaka no longer felt the need to save face and requested a to-go box) and no cash. She sighs. She hates to do this - she’s supposed to be the one bailing out Madoka, not the other way around! - but she has no choice. She calls Madoka.

/

Madoka is incredibly sweet and understanding about the entire thing, which makes Sayaka feel worse. The one hour wait for Madoka to arrive via bus also makes Sayaka feel worse. Her slightly upset stomach also makes Sayaka feel worse. Basically, it’s an all around shitty situation. The worst part is Sayaka can’t 100% blame Kyoko Sakura because she did this to herself. She can only, like, 50% blame Kyoko Sakura.

About an hour later, Madoka arrives at the Kazamino bus stop with a concerned smile. Sayaka bursts into a genuine grin of joy and relief, which quickly changes into a strained smile of guilt and shame when she remembers that she’s going of Madoka’s life.

“I’m so sor -”

Madoka doesn’t even let her finish. “It’s okay, Sayaka! I’m just so happy that you’re safe.”

God, she doesn’t deserve Madoka. “Cream puff?” she offers weakly.

/

Madoka pays for her bus fare, and the two of them ride back to Mitakihara together. Sayaka already explained the situation via text message, of course, but she re-explains the situation in person on the ride back while Madoka eats her cream puffs.

“I think I messed up,” she concludes. “Maybe a little bit. But I mean - I still don’t like her!”

“Why do you fight so much?” Madoka asks, looking distressed. “You’re on the same team! You should try to get along with her!”

“Madoka, you don’t understand!” Sakaka runs a hand through her hair, aggravated. “She’s - well, we could never get along. We’re too different!”

“How?” Madoka presses.

Sayaka huffs. “Well! You should just see her in class! She’s always sleeping. She’s smug and stubborn and angry. She picks fights over nothing, and she doesn’t try at anything because she’s too cool for it or something! And when she’s not sleeping, she just walks around like, oh look at me in my dumb varsity jacket, looking cooler than everyone else!”

“But she cares about softball, doesn’t she? Just like you?”

“I guess,” Sayaka concedes. “But -”

“And I’m sure you have lots of other things in common too!” Madoka interrupts. She clasps Sayaka’s hands in her own and looks into Sayaka’s eyes like a sweet, sad puppy. Being weak, Sayaka looks away.

Madoka suddenly releases Sayaka’s hands and claps. “Oh, I have an idea! We should invite her to eat with us tomorrow!”

“Eat with us?” Sayaka questions. “Who’s us?”

“Oh! I forgot to tell you because of, well, everything else. It turns out that Hitomi and Kyosuke actually do have some free time tomorrow, so we decided to all eat lunch! We can go to that little noodle shop near our old middle school. Um, if you’re not doing anything, I guess? You’re not practicing for softball again, are you?”

Sayaka’s heart momentarily skips a beat at the thought of seeing Kyosuke. And then she remembers Madoka asked her a question. She shakes her head. “No, I’m not practicing again. I’ll be free.” And then she remembers something else Madoka said before that. “Wait, you want to invite _Kyoko_?”

“Yup!”

Sayaka shakes her head vehemently. “No, no way! I don’t even have a way of contacting her by tomorrow. Plus, why would she want to come? I think she lives far away.”

Madoka’s face falls. “I guess you’re right… But then you have to promise me to find some other way to fix your relationship with her! I don’t like it when you get into fights.” Her lower lip trembles.

“Fine,” Sayaka grumbles before Madoka can give her another puppy dog pout - or worse, start crying. “I promise.”


	9. it was an accident

Sayaka adds this to the reason why the Kazamino Senior High school uniforms are horrific: she has no idea how to dress without a uniform. She looks at the mirror, looks at her closet, and then turns back to the mirror. She has no idea what to wear! She hates feeling like this - like a silly schoolgirl! Well, she is kind of a silly schoolgirl, but that’s besides the point.

It’s not a big deal, she tells herself. It’s not like Kyosuke’s ever paid attention to anything she’s worn. He doesn’t really pay attention to her that much in general. Which is kind of the problem. Dammit, she’s not doing a very good job of making herself feel better.

She’s tempted to call Madoka again, but she still feels bad about yesterday. She literally wasted two hours of Madoka’s life. She can’t let Madoka bail her out again. So she has to decide to herself what to wear to their lunch. She checks the time. 11:40! Already? She can’t waste any more time! She takes a deep breath, closes her eyes, and sticks her hand into her closet. The first thing she grabs, she’ll wear. No exceptions!

She opens her eyes and looks down at what her hand has grabbed. Her school uniform jacket? She groans, puts the jacket down, and flops down onto her bed.

This is impossible.

/

Eventually she arrives at the restaurant, wearing a pale blue checkered dress and a brown cardigan. She looks casual and mature. Hopefully. She checks her phone. 11:59. She’s a minute early! That’s a win in her book.

Madoka’s already there, sitting at a table by the window and chatting with Hitomi and Kyosuke. She waves when she sees Sayaka. Sayaka takes a deep breath to settle her nerves, waves at her two best friends, and makes her way over.

The noodle shop is nothing special. It’s a small establishment that mostly sells ramen, although it also serves pretty good katsu and fried rice. Still, she used to go here all the time because it was so close to her junior high school - right across the street. As she sits down next to Madoka and Hitomi, she remembers all the times they ate noodles here together after school or during lunch. Sometimes, Kyosuke would eat with them too, although it wasn’t that often. She’s been anxious all morning, but now, she doesn’t feel too bad. She can do this. Just like old times.

At the sound of the doorbell ringing, Sayaka turns her head.

Standing in the doorway, with a stick of Pocky in her mouth, is Kyoko Sakura.

 _What are the fucking odds?_ Sayaka thinks, but then she realizes that Kyoko is actually heading right their way - right her way. _What the hell is going on?_

Without a word, Kyoko plops down at their table, taking the seat right across from her. Madoka even scoots over to make room. And that’s when it hits her. Kyoko isn’t just here by chance. Someone invited her.

“I need to go to the bathroom,” Sayaka blurts out, already standing up. “Madoka, want to come with me?” She flashes Madoka a panicked glance, code for _You better come with me!_

Madoka easily receives the code. She stands up and pushes her chair in. “Yes, of course!”

/

“What the hell, Madoka?” Sayaka hisses as soon as they’re out of earshot in the (thankfully empty) bathroom. “Did you invite her?”

“I swear, I didn’t!” Madoka says. “I was just as surprised as you were when she sat down!”

Sayaka examines her best friend closely. Madoka doesn’t lie very often, but when she does, she looks at the ground and talks too fast. But nope, Madoka’s looking at her straight on and speaking at her usual speed. Plus, Sayaka doesn’t think Madoka has it in her to go behind her back like that. That’s definitely not Madoka’s style.

“But if it wasn’t you, then who was it? It certainly wasn’t me!” Sayaka says, distressed.

“I don’t know!” Madoka responds.

“Relax. It was me.”

Sayaka and Madoka both turn their heads towards the source of the new voice. “Homura?” Madoka asks incredulously.

Sayaka’s eyes narrow into slits. “How - why -” She’s so stunned and angry that she form sentences right now.

“Kyoko and I are old acquaintances. We went to the same prep program in junior high. I thought it would be nice to see her again,” Homura says, with a blasé flip of her hair.

“You’ve got some nerve,” Sayaka says, finally able to get her thoughts together. “Inviting _her_? You thought it’d be nice to see her again? Bullshit. What’s the real reason you invited her?”

Homura sends Sayaka a cold look. She steps forward until she and Sayaka are only an arm’s distance apart. “It hurts Madoka whenever you and Kyoko get into a fight,” she says calmly.

“H-Homura! It’s not like that, really. I mean, it’s not that big of a deal!” Madoka exclaims, turning red.  

“It matters to me,” Homura says, her tone softening as she speaks to Madoka. Madoka blushes harder. Sayaka looks at the two of them, her gaze flicking from one girl to the other, and she wonders what sort of game Homura is running.

Homura turns back to Sayaka, and her voice turns stone cold again. “We should head back. No need to keep our friends waiting. Don’t you want to spend as much time with Kyosuke as possible? Who knows when he’ll be free again?”

Sayaka keeps her temper in check, only because Madoka’s watching. “You’re right,” she says. “Let’s all head back.”

/

When the three of them return, Sayaka finds that Kyoko’s talking with Kyosuke and Hitomi. She couldn’t catch what they were talking about, but Kyosuke’s laughing.

What the fuck? Are… Kyoko and Kyosuke and Hitomi actually _getting along_? Sayaka returns to her seat and eyes the two of them warily, her stomach sinking. Well, if you didn’t know that Kyoko was a massive bitch, Sayaka could see how someone could get along with her - maybe even like her. Oh God. Could Kyosuke like Kyoko? Well, she is - objectively speaking - kind of attractive. Kind of! Maybe! If you’re into angry redheads with striking eyes and sharp teeth! Her legs look pretty nice in their denim shorts too. Not that Sayaka’s been paying attention!

Her chair grates against the floor harshly as she pulls it back. Sayaka sits down and pastes on a smile. “What did I miss?”

“Not much,” Kyosuke says. “We were just introducing ourselves.”

“Oh.”

The six of them sit in silence for a few awkward moments. Then Kyoko speaks up. “So, got any embarrassing stories about Sayaka? You’re her childhood friends, aren’t you?”

Sayaka resists the urge to kick Kyoko hard in the shin under the table. Goddammit, why did she have to promise to both Madoka and Kyosuke that she wouldn't get into a fight? Her foot twitches.

“No, Sayaka has never done anything embarrassing!” Madoka says with a conciliatory smile.

Kyoko raises an eyebrow. “I find that hard to believe.”

Sayaka’s foot twitches again. To her horror, Kyosuke opens his mouth. “Actually,” he says, “I do have a story from when Sayaka was six…” Oh my God. Did Kyosuke actually say that? Did Kyoko _actually fucking lean closer_?

Fortunately, they’re rescued by the waiter.

/

Unfortunately, Kyoko is like a goddamn bloodthirsty shark when it comes to embarrassing stories about Sayaka. As soon as they’re done ordering, she says in a falsely sweet voice, “Kyosuke, you were saying?”

 _Don’t say anything, don’t say anything, don’t say anything_ , Sayaka prays. Her prayers are not answered. God must be a fucking fake. Kyosuke says something.

“Oh, yeah, I was saying... When I was six, I was performing in my first violin concert, and Sayaka came to watch. She was so excited that she yelled “I love guitars!” during the completely silent time period right before I was going to start playing. I didn’t know it was her, and I was thinking, _What idiot in the audience yelled that?_ "

Sayaka wants to disappear. Or punch Kyoko. Maybe both. She sends a withering glare towards the redhead, but Kyoko ignores her and bursts into laughter. “No way!” she guffaws. “That’s hilarious.”

Just then, completely on accident, Sayaka’s foot jerks forward and kicks Kyoko very solidly in the shin. On accident. “Oops, sorry,” she says innocently. “It was an accident.”

“It’s fine,” Kyoko says, equally as innocent. She smiles, displaying her pointy front teeth. It’s kind of scary.

Sayaka doesn't dare look away, wondering what Kyoko will do next. 

“I thought it was sweet!” Madoka blurts out, ever the pacifist. "Sayaka’s always been a brave and supportive friend. Kyosuke, don’t you think?”

“It did make me laugh. It made me a lot less nervous too,” he admits. Although Kyoko's presence still sullies the back of her mind, Sayaka blushes and feels good from head to toe. Kyosuke never told her that before.

“You? Nervous? It never shows on stage. It definitely didn’t that day! It was so long ago, but I still remember how beautiful your music was!” Sayaka says, babbling just a little nervously.

“It’s nice to know that it doesn’t show up on stage, but I’m always nervous before a concert,” Kyosuke says.

“Me too. My hands shake so much, and sometimes I even feel like I might throw up,” Hitomi says.

“There’s nothing quite as scary as performing,” Kyosuke agrees, nodding. He addresses Sayaka with an apologetic smile. “You wouldn’t understand, I suppose.”

“Oh,” says Sayaka softly. The good feeling is gone. She’s tried so hard to understand Kyosuke. He’s the one who inspired her love of classical music. She can name composers and pieces just as well as he can. But he’s right. She’ll never actually understand what it’s like to perform music onstage, and she’s always been a little insecure about that. She’s no musician. She tried to pick up the violin once, but she didn’t have the talent. She didn’t really like it that much, anyway. She preferred to be outside playing sports.

Kyoko’s short laugh brings Sayaka out of her thoughts. “I bet Sayaka here knows a lot about being nervous.” Sayaka almost accidentally kicks her again. What the hell? Can Kyoko tell how nervous she is right now?

“But it’s not like I’m faking my confidence onstage either. I actually am confident onstage, but I’m nervous at the same time,” Kyosuke continues. “It’s hard to explain.”

“I bet Sayaka knows a lot about being confident too,” Kyoko says.

Okay, now Sayaka’s confused. Is Kyoko… actually sticking up for her or something? Is she… complimenting her?

“And faking confidence,” Kyoko adds, with a smirk.

And now Sayaka’s back to hating her. Much better. She’s not sure what she would do if she actually started to like Kyoko.

“How’s school?” Madoka asks, still trying to play the pacifist. “Uh, you’re preparing for your competition, right? You and Hitomi both?”

“Yeah, but we’ve also been preparing for our first term concert,” Kyosuke explains. His eyes brighten up, the way they always do when he’s talking about his violin. “We go to a music school, so first term concert is a big deal. Performance slots are limited, too. But I think Hitomi and I can do it. She’s really good.”

Hitomi titters nervously and shakes her head. “Kyosuke’s being too generous! We’re only freshmen, and so many people at this school are so good. But I’m having a lot of fun practicing, so I don’t mind if we don’t make it on the stage!” She looks over at Kyosuke, and something about the way she does it is so soft and gentle that it makes Sayaka see red. Who does Hitomi think she is? God, she wants to yank her out of that chair and take her far, far away from Kyosuke. And then Sayaka immediately feels guilty. How could she think that about her dear friend? Her temper simmers down.

“I think it’d be amazing if the two of you got to perform! That means I get to see two amazing performances for sure when I come to your school’s concert!” Madoka says encouragingly.

“One performance,” Kyosuke corrects. “Hitomi and I are practicing a duet.”

A duet? Sayaka panics. A duet. A duet where the two of them have to practice for hours on end, alone together. Just them and the music and everything else that they fucking have in common! How the hell is Sayaka ever going to compete with that?

“It must be hard to practice for this concert and your competition!” Madoka says.

“Yes, but it’s fun, so I don’t mind,” Hitomi replies.

Sayaka barely hears the conversation. Her friends are still talking, but their voices sound muffled to Sayaka, as if she’s listening through a wall. Her mind is racing.

Kyoko suddenly snaps her fingers. “Yo, butler. I’m thirsty. Can you get me a cup of water?” Her voice is loud and abrasive, rudely intruding Sayaka’s thoughts.

“Excuse me, are you talking to me?” Sayaka snaps.

“Yeah. I mean, you love getting people drinks, don’t you?” Kyoko grins, and to Sayaka’s horror, she turns to Kyosuke. “She gets the girls on the softball team drinks all the time. Isn’t she sweet?”

Kyosuke plays right into Kyoko’s hands. “Oh, cool. Sayaka, while you’re up, could you get me a cup of water too?”

Fucking Kyoko Sakura. She can’t say no now! She can’t even have the luxury of looking pissed! Sayaka takes a deep breath to calm her anger. “Yeah, sure. Does anyone else want me to get their drink?”

Hitomi, Madoka, and Homura also request a cup of water. _Fuck you, Kyoko_ , Sayaka thinks with every request.

“I’ll come with you,” Madoka offers, already standing up.

“Me too,” says Hitomi. “You can’t carry six cups of water at once.”

Sayaka is not going to debate that. “Thanks.”

/

By the time they’ve returned with the water, the waiter’s at their table serving their dishes. That’s good. Food has a tendency to make Sayaka feel better, and she loves the seafood ramen from this place. She breathes in that delicious smell and already perks up.

“Still have room to eat after you pigged out yesterday?” Kyoko asks, ruining the moment.

“Yes,” Sayaka says shortly. She’s carrying two cups of water, and she’s _so_ tempted to spill one over into Kyoko’s lap. It would be easy. A mere slip of the hand. An accident. Instead, she sets the water on the table.

“Let’s just eat!” says Madoka, sensing Sayaka’s temper.

“Okay,” Sayaka says, hoping she doesn’t sound grumpy. She sits down and redirects her focus to her food. “Hey Hitomi, do you want my shrimp?” Sayaka doesn’t like shrimp; it’s the only type of seafood she refuses to eat. She ate some bad shrimp when she was ten, and it made her horribly sick. She’s hated it ever since.

“Yes please,” Hitomi says as her chopsticks reach into Sayaka’s bowl. Sayaka helps her transfer the shrimp.

“That’s a lot of shrimp,” notes Kyosuke, looking at Hitomi’s shrimp fried rice.

“I know, but the shrimp that comes with the rice is barely even shrimp!” She picks up a small, pale pink piece from her rice bowl with her chopsticks, pops it into her mouth, and then picks up one of the real shrimp from Sayaka’s bowl. “They don’t peel it and cut it into those small pieces,” she explains. She pops the shrimp into her mouth whole, tail and all. Sayaka’s never understood that. Even before she had her incident with the bad shrimp, she never ate the tails. As far as she’s concerned, shrimp tails are just meatless choking hazards.

“You even eat the tails? That’s disgusting!” Kyoko exclaims, and Sayaka’s horrified to discover she has something in common with her.

“Could I have one of my shrimp back?” Sayaka blurts out.

For a moment, Hitomi stares at her as if she’s grown a second head, but she quickly recovers. “Well, of course! Um, here.”

“Thanks.” Sayaka confronts the newly placed shrimp in her bowl. She hates shrimp. She’s hated shrimp ever since she was ten. And she’s hated shrimp tails for all of her life. Can she really do this? Why is she doing this?

“Sayaka, are you okay?” Madoka asks, sounding genuinely concerned.

“I’m fine!” Sayaka looks down at her shrimp again. Madoka's still looking at her strangely, and it reminds her that she's supposed to be trying to get along. You know, just this once, she won’t be petty. For Madoka’s sake. For Kyosuke’s sake. She’ll be nice.

“You know, I’ve changed my mind. You can have the shrimp back.”

/

The rest of the lunch is fairly uneventful, but Sayaka returns home completely exhausted. What a tiring weekend it’s been. And - oh crap - she still hasn’t started her homework!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> fun fact homura is a dramatic gay


	10. how can you even suggest that?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> short little chapter until the next one. hopefully it'll be a quick update!

After a late night of doing her homework (Sayaka swears she’s never going to procrastinate that much again) the last thing she wants to do is wake up early on Monday morning to clean a classroom with Kyoko. But her stupid past self kept putting off her homework and got into a fight with Kyoko - actually, no, she has no regrets about the latter - so here she is.

She naps on the bus and barely wakes up before her stop. She walks to school in a sleepy daze, wondering if she should start drinking tea or coffee in the mornings, and when she sees Kyoko waiting for her in the classroom, it takes a moment for the sight to register.

Is she still dreaming? Is Kyoko actually here… _early_? She rubs her eyes in disbelief, but when she removes her hands, Kyoko’s still there, wearing her dumb (cute) varsity jacket and munching on an apple.

“Don’t look so shocked, butler,” Kyoko snaps.

Yeah, it’s actually her.

“I wouldn’t look so shocked if you made a regular habit of getting to school on time,” Sayaka shoots back, snatching a rag from the nearby supply shelf.

“Oh, I’m _so_ sorry,” Kyoko says sarcastically. “We can’t all be _perfect_ like you, I guess. But at least I don’t have a crush on a boring music boy.”

Sayaka turns red from anger and embarrassment. “Kyosuke is not a boring music boy!” she blurts out without thinking. She claps a hand over her mouth. “I-I mean, I don’t have a crush on him!” She’s never told anyone about her crush, except Madoka, and that was only because Madoka deduced it on her own and confronted her about it. God, is she really that obvious?

“Uh huh.” Kyoko smiles a little too smugly and bites into her apple. It’s clear she doesn’t believe her.

Sayaka turns away and crosses her arms. “Whatever.”

“Honestly, if you really like him that much, you should have broken his hand so he couldn’t play the violin anymore and couldn’t go to that fancy music school. Then you would’ve been able to go to the same school and actually interact. He would have been _all_ yours,” Kyoko says flippantly.

“What?!” Sayaka whirls around. “That’s awful! How - how can you even suggest that?” she asks through gritted teeth.

Kyoko shrugs. “If you don’t have the guts to do it, I wouldn’t mind doing it for you.”

Swift as an arrow, Sayaka marches over and grabs Kyoko by the collar. “Don’t. You. Dare.”

Kyoko looks at her coolly. Her gaze is actually a little unnerving. For a second, Sayaka thinks that she might retaliate and sock her in the jaw or something. But then Kyoko breaks eye contact, throws her head back, and laughs.

“Relax,” she says. “I was just joking.”

Sayaka releases her grip on the other girl’s collar, but she definitely doesn’t relax. “That wasn’t funny.”

“You really care about him, huh?”

Sayaka doesn’t deny it this time; she’s a little worried about what Kyoko might say to that. It’s nothing to be embarrassed about, anyway - except she is. She’s embarrassed because Kyosuke is talented and charismatic and handsome, and he’s never viewed her as anything more than a friend. Sayaka’s not good enough for him. Refusing to say anything, Sayaka simply returns to dusting off the desks.

“Well then, I guess I can’t break his hand,” Kyoko says. Sayaka looks at her in surprise. Kyoko hasn’t said it in so many words, but Sayaka’s pretty sure that’s her version of an apology. In fact, she’s almost certain, because that’s exactly how she herself would “apologize” if she was trying to preserve her pride.

“Are you okay?” Sayaka asks, narrowing her eyes.

“What?”

“I mean, first you’re here on time, and now you’re actually being kind of nice? Are you okay?”

Kyoko scoffs. “Make no mistake, I wasn’t being nice - to you, anyway.” She finishes up her apple and gives her a smile that’s all teeth. “I was just being nice to Kyosuke because he seems like a really cool guy.”

And just like that, Sayaka wants to punch her again. “Y-you just called him boring!” she splutters.

“What, are you going to disagree with me now? Are you going to tell me that he’s actually not a cool guy, and I should break his hand?” Kyoko smirks.

She’s _mocking_ her. She was baiting her all along, and Sayaka just fell for it. God, Sayaka hates her guts! Whatever. She is not going to let Kyoko rile her up like that again.

“If you break his hand, I’ll break yours,” Sayaka says murderously. With that, she picks up a broom and decides that she’s going to ignore Kyoko for the rest of the day - the week - her life!

/

Unfortunately, ignoring Kyoko is not a feasible task when they’re on the same team together. Fucking softball.

Coach Ishido seems to believe that if she forces Sayaka and Kyoko to interact enough times, they’ll learn to work with each other. So they’re partnered for every damn thing. As they do catching and throwing drills together, Sayaka wonders if she’ll get in trouble if she aims for Kyoko’s face. She probably will, she unfortunately concludes, so she doesn’t attempt any attacks. Kyoko, for her part, doesn’t attempt any attacks either.

Kyoko is a practice partner that Sayaka has to begrudgingly respect. The girl really does know how to play softball. Sayaka’s no amateur herself, but she’s picking up tips on how to improve just by watching Kyoko’s fluid movements.

For the next few days, she and Kyoko mostly ignore each other. When they’re forced to interact during softball practice, they play their respective roles stonily. Sayaka supposes this is their version of a truce. She wonders just how long it’ll last.

/

Finally, after two weeks of having to wake up early and deal with Kyoko and already clean classrooms, Sayaka is officially done with her punishment! She practically skips on the way to the bus stop - to the good old 7:10 bus!

“Madoka!” Sayaka shouts as she envelopes her friend in a big hug.

“Sayaka!” Madoka says, clearly surprised but still hugging back. “You’re back!”

“Yup, I am!” Sayaka pulls away and claps her hands.

“Sayaka, you’re back,” Hitomi says, walking up to the bus stop. She’s right in step with Kyosuke. Since when did they walk to school together? Have they been doing this every single day for the past few weeks when they were gone?

“Hello Hitomi,” Sayaka says, trying not to sound disheartened. Her mind flashes back to their lunch together, but she quickly pushes all those thoughts away. She doesn’t really want to think about it.

“I’m glad you’re back. I hope you won’t get in new trouble any time soon,” Kyosuke says.

“Yeah,” Sayaka says a sheepish smile. She looks away so Kyosuke doesn’t see her blush.

They make idle chit-chat as they wait for the bus. Sayaka’s actually starting to relax and just enjoy seeing her friends again while they board the bus. That’s when they run into another problem.

“Sorry, Sayaka, but I usually sit with Homura during the mornings…” Madoka says apologetically. Homura herself doesn’t say anything and looks at Sayaka in an undecipherable manner. When the hell had she even appeared?

“That’s okay.” Sayaka doesn’t want to make Madoka feel awkward, so she smiles and repeats herself, but with more enthusiasm. “Really, that’s okay!”

“Sorry,” Madoka says, fidgeting with her hands. “It’s just, I don’t want Homura to sit by herself.”

“Sit with me, Sayaka,” Hitomi says. She takes a seat in the row behind Madoka and Homura and gestures beside her. Sayaka’s not about to refuse. One of the things she hated most about having to take the 6:30 bus was sitting by herself. But…

“Don’t you usually sit with Kyosuke?” she asks. God, why did she ask that? She’s not entirely sure she wants to know the answer.

Hitomi shrugs. “Sometimes. But sometimes he also sits with Koga.” She points at a tall brown-haired boy that Kyosuke has taken a seat next to.

“Oh.” Okay, that’s not as awful of an answer as Sayaka was expecting. “Wait, who do you sit with then?”

“Sometimes Madoka. Homura doesn’t seem to mind sitting by herself. I think Madoka minds more than Homura does, actually. And sometimes I sit with Toma. She’s Koga’s sister. They both go to our new school - Kyosuke’s and my new school, I mean.”

“Are you making a lot of new friends there?” Sayaka asks.

“A few. Some of them are very competitive and not interested in friends. But some of them are very nice, and we all share the same passion for music, so we always have something to talk about. What about you, Sayaka?”

Crap. Now she’s going to have to admit that she hasn’t made any new friends and sound like a loser. But she can’t think of a way to avoid the topic gracefully right now, so she just answers. “I don’t really like the people in my school. Aside from Madoka, I guess.”

Hitomi tilts her head. “Not even Homura?”

“I don’t really know what to make of her,” Sayaka admits.

“To be honest, Sayaka, me neither,” Hitomi says, lowering her voice. That’s when Sayaka remembers that Homura’s sitting right in front of them. Whoops. It’s not like Sayaka said anything too awful, anyway.

“But she cares for Madoka very much, and Madoka cares for her, so she can’t be a bad person,” Hitomi continues.

“Madoka cares for _everyone_ ,” Sayaka points out.

“That is true,” Hitomi says, with a soft laugh.

They fall into a prolonged silence. It’s a little bit awkward, but Sayaka’s starting to get used to it when Hitomi speaks again.

“Sayaka, are you free after school today?”

That was unexpected. “After softball practice, yeah. That’s around five. Why do you ask?”

“I have music practice as well, but I’m ending a little earlier than usual. I should be available around the same time you’re done with practice. Would you like to eat afterwards at Mumi’s Cafe?”

Mumi’s Cafe, coincidentally, is where she and Kyoko had their little, uh, incident.. Sayaka’s not keen to return any time soon. “I don’t know, Hitomi, this is kind of sudden. Does it need to be today?”

“It’s important,” Hitomi insists. There’s something in her face that’s steely and resolved. Despite her refined manners and gentle nature, Hitomi can be rather determined when she wants to be - unlike Madoka, who’s pretty much a doormat.

“Okay then,” Sayaka says, surrendering. “I guess I’ll see you at Mumi’s Cafe around five, then.”

The determined look on her face slips, and Hitomi suddenly looks rather conflicted. She pushes her hair behind her ear, even though she doesn’t have a hair out of place, and chews on her lip. “Are you sure? It’s important, but it can wait. I was just being impatient.”

Sayaka shakes her head. She’s curious now. “No, I don’t mind at all. I’m not busy or anything.”

Hitomi still looks rather split, but she nods.


	11. dying inside

Sayaka honestly has no idea what to expect when she walks into Mumi’s Cafe, but she knows one thing for sure: she is not going to order a fruit waffle, large slice of cake, grilled turkey sandwich with fries, or a bag of creampuffs. Oh, and no more green tea lattes either. Those all bring back bad memories. She ate herself sick that day.

Luckily, the cafe menu has plenty of options. She decides to go for milk tea with boba. As she stands in line, she looks around for Hitomi. She tends to come early more often than not, and sure enough, Hitomi’s sitting in a booth by the window, stirring what appears to be some kind of soup. She hasn’t noticed Sayaka yet; she’s looking out the window.

Sayaka orders her drink and sits across from Hitomi. She coughs softly. It’s only then that Hitomi notices her.

“Oh sorry!” she says, startled. She laughs. “I was just a little distracted, I guess. Hello, Sayaka.”

“Hi.” This isn’t awkward at all. For real - this shouldn’t be awkward! This is Hitomi, her valued childhood friend! “Uh, how was your day?” Sayaka takes a sip of her boba, waiting for Hitomi to answer.

Hitomi sighs and straightens out her posture, the way she does when she’s either very nervous or very serious about something. Maybe both. Sayaka suddenly feels a puddle of dread starting to pool in her stomach.

“I guess I should cut to the chase,” Hitomi says, her tone dead serious. “I have a secret that I’ve been keeping from both you and Madoka.”

“Huh?” Hitomi? A secret?

Before Sayaka can ponder further, Hitomi continues. “For a long time now, I’ve been in love with Kyosuke Kamijou.”

Sayaka tries to control her expression, but she can’t control the slight gasp that escapes her lips. The puddle of dread in her stomach becomes a flood, and she suddenly feels like all the breath has been knocked out of her. And yet, is it really a surprise? She’d seen it coming. All the things they had in common, all the time they were spending together… But still…   

“Oh, really? I never would have guessed. Man, Kyosuke’s a lucky guy,” Sayaka hears herself saying, although she’s not really processing any of it.

“You were Kyosuke’s childhood friend, weren’t you?” Hitomi asks.

“Tag along, maybe,” she says, laughing awkwardly. She’s dying inside.

“Was that really all it was?” Hitomi looks her straight in the eye, clearly not buying it. Damn it, is she _really_ that obvious? Does everyone in the world know? God, does Kyosuke know? Has he been humoring her all this time?

“You’re an important friend to me. That’s why I’m giving you a chance. I will confess my love to Kyosuke tomorrow after school. This gives you twenty-four hours to make your move. That’s all I wanted to say.” With that, Hitomi stands up and leaves.

Sayaka’s left alone with her pounding heart.

/

She can’t focus as she walks to the bus stop. (At least Madoka doesn’t have to bail her out this time.) She sits on the bus and thinks about what the hell she should do. She goes home and tries to do her homework, which doesn’t really work that well. She tries to sleep but that doesn’t really work that well either. She can’t stop thinking about Hitomi and Kyosuke and how they belong together and how awful she would be to get in between them. And yet, she loves Kyosuke so much. She doesn’t know what she’s going to do. She tosses and turns in her bed and does not cry, and she eventually falls asleep.

/

She wakes up late the next day, something she hasn’t done since the first day of school. That brings back bad memories. It feels like a bad sign, even if she didn’t wake up at 7:04, but at 7:05.

She’s made up her mind, but that doesn’t make going through her day any easier. She hates waiting more than anything else. She hates living in this agonizing limbo. She floats through the day, each second going by too quickly and too slowly at the same time. She keeps to herself, anxious and tired and sleep-deprived.

Somehow she makes it through the day, even through the math class where she was seriously fighting off sleep and only stayed awake out of her spite for Kyoko Sakura, who herself was shamelessly asleep. Softball practice rolls around, and as usual, she’s paired with Kyoko for all their drills. Sayaka performs fairly well, but she’s just going through the motions, relying on her muscle memory. She’s not processing anything.

Towards the end of practice, Coach Ishido announces that they’re going to play a scrimmage game, with JV players mixed in so that each team can fill all nine required players. They haven’t played a scrimmage game since tryouts, so everyone’s buzzing. But Sayaka doesn’t feel anything aside from a twinge of annoyance when Coach Ishido places her and Kyoko on the same team.

The game starts with a bang when Etsu Shiraishi, a second year student with pink streaks in her hair, hits a triple. Sayaka and Kyoko are starting on the outfield, with Sayaka playing the role of third base and Kyoko not too far away playing left field. Too late, with Etsu already safely on base, Sayaka throws the ball back to Aiko, their pitcher for the game.

/

The teams are pretty evenly matched, just as Coach Ishido planned them to be. Sayaka’s exhausted. Normally, with one inning left and their team switching to bat for the last time, Sayaka would feel more pumped. But she can only muster up a fraction of the emotions that she normally would. She wonders what Hitomi and Kyosuke are doing right now. What they’ve been doing the entire time Sayaka’s been at softball practice. Are they practicing their duet right now?

“Alright team,” says Aiko, ever the team captain. She grins brightly at every single girl in the team. “We’re one point behind, but it’s our turn at offense, and I know we have it in us to score two more runs! It’s just a scrimmage game, but I’m going to be putting my everything into winning. So let’s all do our best!”

Sayaka cheers halfheartedly and gets in line. She’s fourth in the batting lineup. Kyoko’s fifth; she’s right behind her. Thankfully, she’s left her unbothered for most of the game. They’re still ignoring each other.

Their first batter - some girl on the JV team whose name Sayaka doesn’t know - hits a pop fly that immediately gets caught. Their second batter - one of the seniors, Sayaka thinks  - gets onto first base. Their third batter strikes out.

Two outs, one runner on base, one point down. Sayaka’s blood should be singing, but it’s only humming a little bit as she grips the bat and adjusts her stance. The pitcher of the other team, Michie Umesaka, stares her down before hurling her a fastball. Sayaka swings, but not quickly enough, and strikes out. She takes a deep breath. No big deal. Umesaka’s good - really good, in fact - but Sayaka knows how she tends to pitch. She readjusts her stance, forces herself to focus, and waits for Umesaka to make her move.

Umesaka pitches the ball again, and Sayaka’s bat makes contact this time. She takes a second to follow through on the swing and then takes off, tossing the bat behind her. She runs, and all of a sudden, all the pent up frustration and stress from the past 24 hours kicks into her system. Her blood sings. She runs, skirting around first base and tuning out the pain in her heart and the shouts of her teammates and everything else around her. She runs, and she’s definitely not thinking about Kyosuke, and her eyes definitely aren’t watering. She runs, and her teammates are yelling at her to _Sayaka, stop at second base!_ and then _Sayaka, stop at third base! Stop running now!_ Sayaka runs away from it all.

The game’s over. Sayaka’s out. She makes it back to home plate, breathing hard. The rush is fading quickly, and she just feels tired again. But it’s at least it’s over. Coach Ishido declares that the teams are tied, and practice has ended.

“Hey, good game,” says Aiko as she passes Sayaka. “We didn’t win, but at least we tied. You took a risk, and it didn’t necessarily work, but I still think we did a good job.”

“Yeah,” Sayaka mumbles, unsure if she’s glad or not that Aiko can’t tell that she’s dying inside. She didn’t “take a risk.” She was just running blindly. Running until something hurt a little less. Is Hitomi confessing to Kyosuke right now? Is she going to wait, or has she decided that she’s already given Sayaka enough time? It doesn’t matter, anyway, whether Hitomi’s confessing at this very moment or whether she’s going to confess tomorrow. Sayaka’s decided not to interfere. Hitomi and Kyosuke obviously belong together.

“What the hell was that?” Kyoko shrieks, snapping Sayaka out of her thoughts. Sayaka looks up to find Kyoko Sakura right in front of her, positively fuming and a little too close for comfort.

Refusing the urge to step away, Sayaka looks her evenly in the eye and says, “I don’t know what you mean.”

“God, don’t play dumb. You know exactly what you mean!” Kyoko looks at her as if she can see right through her, and it’s a little unnerving. “You were playing like a totally reckless idiot! I was the batter right after you! I would’ve hit us a run, and we would’ve won! You should’ve stopped at third base - no, second base!”

“Do you really think you would’ve hit a run? Don’t oversell yourself,” Sayaka scoffs. She’s deflecting.

Kyoko grabs the bait. “Of course I would’ve hit a run! Batting is my fucking strongest suit! And unlike you, I’m not a dumbass!”

Normally that would get a rise out of her, but she’s too tired to care. Besides, she knows Kyoko’s just trying to get her upset again. She won’t let her do that. “Whatever. I’m leaving now.”

As she tries to run away (again), Kyoko’s hand clamps around her wrist. Sayaka whirls around. “Let me go,” she says through gritted teeth.

The look in Kyoko’s eyes is surprisingly intense. “What the hell is actually wrong with you today? You’ve been off all day. You almost fell asleep during class!”

“How would you even know? You were actually asleep during class!” Sayaka shoots back, trying to deflect again.

“I’m not always asleep during class,” Kyoko says, dismissing Sayaka’s attempt at deflection. “I’m _serious_ , Sayaka. Is everything okay?”

“Don’t act like you’re actually concerned about me,” Sayaka says, narrowing her eyes.

This time, Kyoko grabs the bait once again. “I’m not!” she practically splutters, breaking eye contact.

“Good,” Sayaka says coldly. She ferociously pulls her arm out of Kyoko’s grip and walks away.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> wow what an angsty(TM) chapter. truly edgy. look at that title. i'm dying madoka. 
> 
> some dialogue taken from madoka magica. also, as mentioned in first chapter, (very) loosely inspired by some your lie in april elements.
> 
> i'm experiencing some writer's block but i'm still going to try my best to write as much as i can! i'm doing camp nanowrimo this month so that's why there's been so many chapter updates as of late. lol. i should save up chapters to post for later but i'm honestly much too impatient.


	12. heartbreak is not fun

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i've been super busy with college visits so i couldn't update!! but i did get a chance to write, so here we are with two updates! i felt like the chapters kind of went together but it felt too long to cram into one chapter lol.

Sayaka’s a few yards away from the bus stop when she realizes that something’s missing. And that something is the crowd of students that usually waits at the bus stop. Which can only mean one thing.

The bus has already left with its crowd of students. Sayaka’s missed the fucking bus. And on a normal day, she probably would have had enough sense to run here, but today she didn’t. What an awful day.

But as she gets closer, she notices that the bus stop isn’t completely empty. There’s one girl left, waiting for her.

Madoka.

“Sayaka, you’re here!”

Sayaka looks at the ground, ashamed. She plans on holding it all in, but something in her finally bursts. She ends up crying in Madoka’s arms and telling her everything.

“I'm going to lose Kyosuke to Hitomi!” she sobs into Madoka’s embrace.

Madoka doesn't say anything. She just holds her close until Sayaka’s cried it all out.

/

By the time the next bus arrives, Sayaka’s mostly recovered. She feels better after she's cried. She hadn't realized how much she needed that, how much she was holding inside this entire time. Madoka stays patiently by her side the entire time.

“Thanks for dealing with me,” Sayaka says, drying her eyes and forcing herself to smile.

“It isn't a problem,” Madoka responds, squeezing her hand. “It's the least I can do after all those times you were there for me. Remember all those times when I was little and I skinned my knee or something, and you helped me when I cried? I cry at such silly things! Remember once I cried because I had a sad dream about a bunny?”

Sayaka actually laughs at that. “Sorry, I know I shouldn't laugh. You were pretty traumatized. Besides, I cry over silly things too. I know Kyosuke’s just some dumb boy… ”

“Kyosuke isn't silly to you,” says Madoka. “He means a lot to you. You've been in love with him for years. It's okay to be heartbroken.”

Against her will, Sayaka sniffs. But she quickly controls herself; she doesn’t want to break down on the bus, in front of all these strangers. She bites the inside of her cheek and thinks of something - anything - she could say to distract herself. “Hey, where’s Homura? I’m surprised she didn’t stay behind with you.”

Madoka turns pinker than her hair. “Well, she offered, but I told her to leave. I had a feeling you weren’t doing your best, and I thought you might feel awkward around her.”

Aw. As sweet as that is, that’s not really doing a good job of distracting her right now. “Oh, that’s nice. How was, uh, art club?”

“It was fun! We’re working on a mural that we’re going to hang in the school building. I’m happy that the older members let me work on it, even if it’s just a small piece. I’m drawing an angel on my part... A-am I boring you?”

“No, go on!” Sayaka urges.

“Okay!” Madoka chats brightly about her project, and Sayaka just listens. She doesn’t care for art, usually, but right now it’s exactly what she wants to hear about. Thank God for Madoka.

/

There's a heaviness on her shoulders as she finishes up her day. She wishes she didn’t have to go to school tomorrow. She wants to the week to be _over_ , but it’s only Thursday.

At least there’s one good thing that comes from being so exhausted. It takes her a while to fall asleep, but once she does, she sleeps incredibly well.

/

Hitomi’s confession to Kyosuke must have been successful because the next morning on the way to the bus stop, she catches the the pair holding hands.

She wants to run. Sayaka wants to run again - run far, far away - but instead she just keeps her head down and ignores the throbbing pain in her heart as best as she can. Madoka offers to sit on the bus with her, but Sayaka refuses and insists that she sit with Homura. Sayaka sits on the bus alone, puts her phone’s music library on shuffle, and pops in her earphones. Claude Debussy’s “The Girl with the Flaxen Hair” starts playing. It reminds her of Kyosuke. She immediately shuts off the song and scrolls through her music library. Dammit, why does she have so much classical music? She groans and continues scrolling, desperately searching for something - anything - that won’t remind her of Kyosuke. The only thing she can find is a bouncy J-Pop album that Madoka once recommended her. The songs don’t fit her mood at all, but it’s better than classical music.

/

She makes it to school, and she expects Kyoko to be vindictive towards her throughout the day - in all honesty, Sayaka would’ve deserved it - but Kyoko just acts like her usual smirking, potato chip crunching self. It’s actually a little scary. Sayaka spent a lot of last night still thinking about Hitomi and Kyosuke (Did Hitomi really confess? Did it go well? What are Hitomi and Kyosuke doing right this moment?) but at some point of the night, the way she’d treated Kyoko had crossed her mind. And well, she can’t expect Kyoko to not retaliate. That’s not how their relationship works.

But as far as Sayaka can detect, Kyoko’s behavior towards her hasn’t changed in the slightest. Kyoko’s ignoring her, just like before. She seems to be a little colder, but Sayaka might be imagining that. It’s hard to detect the true feelings of someone who’s asleep half the time, anyway.

Kyoko doesn’t breathe a word towards her until softball practice, when they’re picking up drinks for the older girls together. “You know, I’ve decided to forgive you for being such a bitch yesterday,” she says, her voice so condescending and full of herself that its mere tone makes Sayaka angry.

“What do you mean?” Sayaka retorts against her better judgment.

“I mean, at first I didn’t know what the hell had gotten into you, but I saw Hitomi and Kyosuke this morning, and it all made sense. So I decided to be understanding and forgive you.”

“Is that supposed to make me feel better?” Sayaka snaps, her cheeks turning red. Fucking Kyoko, rubbing salt in her open wound. She doesn’t want to be reminded of Hitomi and Kyosuke. Not ever, but definitely not now, when everything’s fresh. She bites the inside of her cheek to keep herself from tearing up.

Kyoko shrugs. She opens up the fridge and takes out two cans of Dr. Pepper. “Honestly, how did you not see it coming, though?” She twists one of the cans open ferociously. “I was only with the pair for an hour, but it was obvious they were in love with each other.”

“I _did_ see it coming. I chose to let it happen,” Sayaka says defensively. Kyoko’s talking to her like she’s stupid, and it’s pissing her off. Unfortunately, the tremble in her voice takes off most of its edge. God, she wishes the other girl would just shut up.

Kyoko stares at her for a full three seconds, her expression shifting from surprise to something that almost looks like pity before settling on outright disdain. “Well, that was stupid,” she finally says. She turns away, her red hair swishing behind her.

 _Let her go, let her go, let her go,_ the calmer side of her chants as she watches the other girl walk away. “Not all of us are selfish bastards like you!” Sayaka shouts, the calmer side of her losing. “What would you know anyway?”

Kyoko freezes in her path. She turns around slowly. “Yeah, I am a selfish bastard. That just proves I know more than you.”

/

The days go by slowly. Sayaka spends most of her time in a gloomy haze. She hangs out with Madoka (and usually Homura, by association) as often as she can. She avoids Hitomi and Kyosuke together, although she's able to stomach either of them separately. She studies for her classes and manages to raise her math grade. She enjoys her time on the softball team when Kyoko isn't around. She learns the names and athletic quirks of all her teammates and learns how to work with them.

Except Kyoko. If she and Kyoko were giving each other the cold shoulder before, now they're giving each other the fucking frigid shoulder. Aiko brings it up a couple of times, but she seems relieved that they aren't fighting. “It's a start,” she tells her.

Life somehow goes on, even though Sayaka’s heartbroken. At night she listens to sad classical music playlists and thinks of what she did wrong and what she should have done instead. She wonders if she made the right choice and if Kyoko was right. She wishes she'd approached Kyosuke when Hitomi had given her the chance. Then she hates herself because then Hitomi would be feeling this pain, and she wouldn't want to wish that on anyone, especially her childhood friend.

Heartbreak is not fun.

/

Sayaka desperately wishes that she would get over Kyosuke faster - not only for her sake, but for Madoka’s. As Homura once not-so-kindly confronted her about, Sayaka’s sadness makes Madoka sad. As if she needed someone to point that out to her!

Madoka herself hasn’t said a word about how Sayaka might or might not be affecting her. However, she does invite Sayaka to considerably more things, in a not so subtle attempt to distract her. She also keeps offering to buy her ice cream, which Sayaka always accepts because she loves ice cream more than her pride. They never buy it from Mumi’s Cafe, though.

Today, it’s a hot Saturday afternoon, and Madoka suggests a visit to Mitakihara Middle School. Their old teacher, Miss Saotame, always stays late on Saturdays to grade the week’s papers, and she always appreciates visits from past students. Madoka and Sayaka were both pretty fond of Miss Saotame back in middle school, despite her constant complaints about failed dates, and Miss Saotame liked them too.

Hitomi’s still preparing for her concert or competition or whatever music thing she’s doing with Kyosuke, but she promises she’ll visit Miss Saotame with them on a later date. Homura tags along instead, even if she didn’t have Miss Saotame as a teacher for very long because she was sick for most of middle school.

Miss Saotame is the same as Sayaka remembers her to be. She’s still wearing her usual outfit of a faded green sweater and a white skirt, and she’s still sweet and fussy and chatty. She’s full of stories about new men that she’s dated or attempted to date, although the stories themselves aren’t very different. Sayaka listens to them patiently while eating the special candies that Miss Saotame stores for any returning students.

“He seemed like such a nice guy, but then it turned out he was only trying to get close to me so he could date your mom. Your _mom_ , Madoka! Honestly, even after I told him that she was married, he wouldn’t quit. This always happens!” Miss Saotame harrumphs, sticking her nose into the air.

Madoka laughs awkwardly. “Well, my mom is -”

“Beautiful, and successful, and confident! Did I mention beautiful?” Miss Saotame interrupts. “Not that I mind, though! Sure, I’m a little jealous, but your mom and I have been friends for a very long time, so I’ve learned how to live with it. So don’t go around telling your mom anything bad about me! Anyway, I told the guy that if he was so desperate to date your mom, he should just ask her out! And then he told me that I needed to be the one to tell her because he was scared of her! I laughed in his face! What a useless coward. Not good enough for your mom at all - even if she was single, which she is definitely _not_! How are your parents doing anyway, Madoka? And Tatsuya?”

“My dad successfully grew a lot of tomatoes in his new garden, and my mom got her promotion at her company, too. As for Tatsuya, he was really scared in kindergarten at first because he’s so used to being with my mom and dad, but he’s made new friends, and he’s doing really well now!” Madoka reports.

“Ah yes, Junko told me about her new promotion too. We toasted to that! Congrats to your mom again. And congrats to your dad too. They’re such a nice couple. Sayaka, what about your family?”

“Huh?” Sayaka takes a moment to regain her bearings; she’d temporarily zoned out to mull over Kyosuke _again_. “Oh, my family. My parents are both really busy with work right now because their game deadline is right around the corner.”

“Oh! What game are they working on now? Are you allowed to tell me that?” Miss Saotame asks.

“Yeah, the game’s release was announced a few months ago so I can tell you. It’s called Magical Girl Rebellion,” Sayaka explains.

“I’ve never heard of that. You know, Sayaka, I don’t know why I always ask you. I never know any of the games anyway!” Miss Saotame laughs.

Madoka suddenly claps her hands. “Homura, you wanted to buy that game, didn’t you?”

Surprised, Sayaka and Miss Saotame both turn to the girl in question. Homura actually looks embarrassed for once. “I played a lot of games while at the hospital,” Homura mumbles.

“Homura showed me the release poster. All the characters are so cute! They’re all very cute magical girls,” Madoka says. “Maybe we could all play together once the game’s released!”

“Yeah sure,” says Sayaka. She plays every single game that her parents work on, even the more mature ones (she smuggles them). But she hasn’t had a chance to look into what Magical Girl Rebellion’s about yet. Hopefully Madoka and Homura have good taste. Who would have thought Homura was into the games her parents worked on?

The rest of the visit is pleasant enough, and Sayaka laughs a couple times. She even forgets about Kyosuke for a few moments, although the moments are few and far between. They leave after about half an hour of chatter and promise to visit again.


	13. don't ask me to share

Madoka and Homura both have to go to the bathroom, so Sayaka tells them that she’ll meet them at the bus stop. But first, since the bus won’t be leaving for a while, she wanders around her old middle school and the surrounding town. The school’s quite empty, as the majority of the clubs have disbanded for the day, but the town is full of students excited over the end of the week. She walks past the little noodle shop, the bakery with all its enticing smells, and the stationary shop that Madoka loved to window shop at. When she passes by the music shop where she used to buy sheets for Kyosuke, her breath hitches, but she keeps walking.

The street is lined with memories of him, of their shared childhood. Why did she think this was a good idea? She decides to head back to the bus stop.

She hears it before she sees it. A shriek, followed by a little whimper. Sayaka whirls around until she finds their sources. She doesn’t see anything except for a somewhat busy, ordinary street. No one else seems to be paying attention. No one else seems to care. She breaks into a run.

Out of breath, she turns into an abandoned alley - correction, a mostly abandoned alley. Standing on the other side is a pair of older boys, likely in high school just like her, robbing a frightened little boy that can’t be older than twelve. One of the boys, who has an exceptionally large nose and poorly bleached hair, has their poor little victim in a chokehold with one of his hands over the crying boy’s mouth. The other boy, who has broad shoulders and beady eyes, searches his pockets. They haven’t seen her yet.

“Cut it out!” Sayaka yells, grabbing their attention. The boy searching the pockets notices her first. He sneers, and his beady eyes look at Sayaka as if she’s just another snack. The other boy, the one keeping their victim from moving, glances over at Sayaka for barely a moment, as if she’s not even worth his attention.

Maybe Sayaka should have thought this through.

Still, now that she’s gotten herself into this mess, she has nothing to do but barrel forward. She’s tougher than she looks, goddammit, and these boys have obviously underestimated her! Sure, they may be bigger and stronger and meaner than her… but at least she doesn’t pick on little kids half her size! She springs into action and delivers a swift punch to the exceptionally large nose of one of the boys, startling him just enough to release his grip on the little boy.

“Run!” Sayaka yells, ducking as the boys begin to retaliate. She doesn’t even have a chance to look back to see if the boy gets away safely because there are fists and feet and angry swears, and now she's gasping for breath from a blow to a stomach. Another kick to her legs, and she's on the ground.

“You little bitch!” one of the boys screams as he kicks her ribs. Which boy is it? Her vision is swimming. “I don't like hitting girls, but you're asking for it!”

Sayaka struggles to get back up, but the boy (Boys? She's seeing double. Triple.) holds her down with his foot on her stomach. She coughs weakly.

And then out of nowhere - a flash of red. The pressure on her stomach disappears. She hears a smack and several yells, the sounds of a harsh scuffle, and the next thing she knows, a blurry but immediately recognizable redhead is leaning over her.

“You're damn lucky I was in the area, dumbass,” Kyoko Sakura tells her, offering her a hand. “Get up and run!”

Sayaka doesn't need to be told twice. Although her ribs shriek and her head hurts and it feels like a ton of rocks are weighing her down, she gets up on her own, refusing the girl’s hand.

And then they run.

/

Afterwards, the two of them walk (Well, Kyoko walks. Sayaka hobbles. With the adrenaline gone, the pain is catching up with a vengeance.) to the bus stop. They've hopefully run far enough to lose the boys. Plus, they're on a crowded street now; surely they won't be jumped here.

Now that they're safe, Sayaka tries to defend her actions irritably. I mean, sure Kyoko kind of saved her ass and stuff, but that doesn't mean Sayaka's going to like it!

“They were robbing a little boy! I couldn't just let it happen.” They had reminded her a little too much of the playground bullies that had gone after Madoka. Sayaka had successfully fought them off with a softball bat.

“Aw, so I bet you told them to stop?” Kyoko mocks.

“Yeah! I did, before I punched one of the guys in the nose! What's wrong with that?” Sayaka blushes furiously.

Kyoko rolls her eyes. “You're an idiot. When you're up against opponents who obviously outmatch you, surprise is one of your greatest advantages. So you shouldn't have told him to stop before punching him. That was giving him a warning. You should have just attacked swiftly and without mercy.”

Goddammit, why is Kyoko actually right? Sayaka doesn't want to admit that, so of course she deflects. “Whatever. Why'd you save me, anyway? I thought you were a selfish bastard.”

Kyoko looks taken aback, but she quickly recovers. “A thank you would be nice,” she grumbles, also deflecting.

Sayaka looks at her, unsure as to whether or not she wants to snap back at Kyoko. The late afternoon sun illuminates her features, making them look softer, gentler, prettier. Her hair glows, like fire. She's radiant.

Whoa. Where the fuck had those sort of thoughts come from? Sayaka shakes herself out of it.

“What are you looking at?” Kyoko snaps, catching her staring.

Shit. “You're bleeding,” Sayaka says to save face. It's true; Kyoko didn't emerge from the fight completely unscathed. Sayaka points at her forehead.

Kyoko reaches up to touch her forehead. She winces, her fingers stained red. “One of those bastards was wearing rings. Nasty little son of a bitch.”

“You should have it looked over. Homura has a first aid kit.”

Kyoko snorts. “Forget me! Worry about yourself!”

Sayaka smiles wryly. “Well, I'm stupid, remember?”

A beat passes, during which Kyoko glares at her suspiciously. Sayaka half-expects her to walk away in the opposite direction, but she just continues to walk with Sayaka to the bus stop. Sayaka's not sure if she's upset over that or not.

“Thank you,” she finally admits, after a prolonged silence.

Kyoko doesn't say anything, but Sayaka swears she’s blushing. How odd.

/

“Sayaka, you're finally here!” Madoka says in relief when she arrives at the bus stop. However, Madoka's relied quickly turns into worry at the sight of Sayaka's injured glory. Her eyes flicker to Kyoko. “Did you get into another fight?” she asks timidly.

“Yes, but not with me, believe it or not,” Kyoko answers in place of Sayaka.

Madoka looks confused, but of course her nurturing nature dominates her curiosity. She doesn't even need to ask before Homura hands her a first aid kit. The two are strangely in sync. “You can tell me what happened later,” she says. “Kyoko, do you mind if I bandage you first? It'll be faster, and I won't be able to treat you on the bus. Unless you're going the same way?”

“No, I’m not,” Kyoko confirms. She treats Madoka with an uncharacteristic kindness as she lets the other girl bandage her forehead. No prideful rejection of assistance, no snarky comments. Just humility and smiles and a “thank you.” She even gives Madoka a snack bar.

Kyoko Sakura is all sorts of confusing today.

/

After that, she and Kyoko stop giving each other the fucking frigid shoulder. In fact, on the field, they can get along pretty well. Something else that Sayaka learns about Kyoko that surprises her: Kyoko is a team player.

Here's what Sayaka's learning about Kyoko. She's an asshole. She's annoying and selfish. But she isn't mean. Mean people go out of their way to make other people miserable. Kyoko just likes to keep to herself. Cold would be an appropriate word, but she's cold in a different manner than Homura. Homura is naturally intimidating. She never has to tell anyone to piss off because everyone avoids her anyway. Kyoko has to tell people to piss off, and then everyone avoids her.

When she wants to be, Kyoko’s actually nice. The other girls on the team like her because they know that she'll have their backs. But Kyoko doesn't try to hog the spotlight either, letting the other girls have their moments and letting them know that she trusts them.

Then there's the moment in the alley where Kyoko saved her, which try as she might, Sayaka still doesn't understand. Kyoko keeps to herself. The Kyoko she knows is the kind of person who would just walk away. Sayaka wouldn't even blame her; the vast majority of people in the world are like that. But Kyoko didn't walk away. She stepped in. She saved her. Maybe, deep down, she and Kyoko are more similar than she thinks.

They aren't friends, of course! Sayaka still hates the way she eats and sleeps in class and acts like nothing matters to her. Plus, Sayaka now owes her, which she hates.

The guilt grows into too much for her to stand, like an itch that won't go away. She can't stop thinking about Kyoko - the way she'd rescued her at just the right time, the way she looked in the sunlight afterwards. Why had she done it? What did she want? In an attempt to compensate, Sayaka brings her a large burlap sack full of apples a few weeks later. She gives it to Kyoko during lunch.

“What's this for?” Kyoko asks, taking out an apple.

Sayaka shrugs. “I just felt like it. Consider it a late thank you gift.”

Kyoko bites into the fruit, and Ssyaka thinks that's the end of it. She's accepted the gift; now maybe Sayaka will stop thinking about her. But then Kyoko says, “You know, you don't owe me anything. I helped you because I wanted to. It wasn't for you. There was nothing selfless about it.”

“What do you mean?” Sayaka asks, confused. Kyoko’s not making any sense.

“I'm just saying.” Kyoko shrugs.

“If I don't owe you anything, then why are you eating my apples?” Sayaka shoots back.

“I'm not going to turn down free food.” She smirks and takes another bite of her apple. “Also, they're _my_ apples now. Don't ask me to share,” she drawls.

For reasons unbeknownst to herself, Sayaka smiles.


	14. have you ever heard of a lesbian?

It's an ordinary morning, except for the fact that Sayaka is way sleepier than usual, and she feels like a zombie as she walks to the bus stop. She stayed up half the night finishing up her English homework and then her history project and then studying for her math test. She fell asleep in the middle of that one, so she should probably study in the bus… but she'll probably just fall asleep again. Ugh, why does it seem like her teachers are conspiring to plan everything important at the same time?

All of a sudden, she crashes into someone's back. She steps back and rubs her nose, ready to apologize, when -

“Watch where you're going, butler!”

“Why don't _you_ watch where you're going?” Sayaka snaps, glaring at Kyoko. It takes her a full moment to process - Wait, Kyoko? “Since when do you ride this bus?”

“Since now,” Kyoko snaps.  

“If you're going to get into another fight, can you please not?” Homura cuts in, looking at them coolly.

The two of them turn to Homura at the same time. “We weren't going to fight!” they say, even though they maybe were. Probably. Okay, almost certainly.

“Come on, Homura,” says Kyoko in that sly tone she tends to use when she’s about to lead someone into a trap. The shift in her voice is subtle; the average person probably wouldn’t know the difference, but alas, Sayaka’s been on the receiving end of it enough times to recognize it. “Worried about upsetting your Madoka?”

“Yes.” Homura’s expression doesn’t change - her poker face is on point - but a slight tinge in her cheeks gives her away.

Madoka’s poker face is not on point. Her face turns red, and her eyes widen, and her forehead scrunches. “Homura! I’ve told you many times. You don’t need to always try to protect me like this!”

Kyoko laughs and puts her arm around Homura’s shoulders. Homura doesn’t flinch, but she stands stone still, like a statue. Sayaka feels a weird twinge of pain - because Homura looks so uncomfortable, of course! The second hand discomfort is rubbing onto her.

“You know, Madoka, Homerun here and I were pretty tight in middle school. We even played softball together a few times. She was actually really damn good. That’s why we called her Homerun,” Kyoko says. Again, Sayaka feels that weird twinge of pain. She doesn’t know why this time. It’s… She can’t describe it… It’s weird.

“Homerun?” Madoka repeats, speaking slowly, as if she’s trying to process something. “But then Homura, why didn’t you join the softball team?”

“I developed a sudden interest in art,” Homura replies, deadpan.

“Oh! That’s cool!” Madoka says, clearly satisfied with the explanation. “I think art is really interesting too!”

Sayaka stares at the pair in disbelief. Is Madoka actually buying Homura’s crap? Homura obviously has some sort of ulterior motive. Sayaka’s not sure what it is, but she’s going to get to the bottom of it!

Beside her, Kyoko bursts into laughter.

/

Sayaka quickly forgets about Homura and Madoka and whatever the former girl is plotting about the latter because school is intense. She turns in her English homework, which in retrospect she stressed too much about. She presents her history project, which her teacher loves and compliments her on. She takes her math test, which is just as brutal as she expected.

But while she’s doing her daily laps during softball practice - enjoying the feeling of just herself and the grass and some good old introspection - she suddenly remembers.

She frowns as she begins her drills with Kyoko. It’s a simple fielding drill, repetitive enough that Sayaka doesn’t need to put all of her efforts into it - even though she still should. They have their very first real game coming up soon, and she needs to be at her best.

“What’s up with you?” Kyoko asks, throwing her a hard ground ball.

Sayaka misses - that’s what she gets for not focusing! But also, Kyoko is an asshole. She scowls as she retrieves the ball. “I was just thinking about Homura and Madoka. I mean, what is up with Homura? What is she planning regarding Madoka? I’ve never trusted her.” If she could, she would cross her arms at this point. But she can’t, so she settles for tossing Kyoko her own hard ground ball.

Kyoko barely fields the ball. “I think it’s pretty obvious what Homura’s planning regarding Madoka. Or I mean, what poor little Homerun wants to plan. If you know what I mean.” She sends her a cheeky wink.

“What?!” Sayaka asks, genuinely clueless. Why the hell did Kyoko wink at her? And why the hell is her heart suddenly racing?

Kyoko just stares at her in disbelief, the ball in her hand forgotten. “You _really_ don’t know?”

God, Sayaka hates it when Kyoko talks to her like she’s stupid. She shouldn’t give Kyoko the satisfaction of having to explain to her what she means. Sayaka wrestles with her pride and her curiosity. Dammit, this is for Madoka, she reminds herself. She needs to know what Homura is planning so she can warn her best friend about it. Her pride will temporarily have to be swallowed.

Sayaka fields Kyoko’s ball perfectly. And then she takes a deep breath and looks Kyoko in the eye. “Yes, I really don’t know! Tell me!”

Kyoko continues to stare at her in disbelief. The longer they hold their stare, the redder Sayaka becomes. She clenches her fists. Goddammit!

And then Kyoko finally opens her mouth and says calmly, “Sayaka, have you ever heard of a lesbian?”

Sayaka’s face somehow turns even redder; in fact, she flushes several shades redder. In this moment, her face puts fire trucks to shame. “O-of course I have!” she splutters. “I know what a lesbian is!” she yells, just as the rest of the field goes quiet.

Shit.

A cricket chirps.

And then Kyoko interrupts the silence with a slow clap. “Congratulations, Sayaka. You know what a lesbian is.”

She hates her life.

/

Lesbian. Noun or adjective. A woman attracted to other women. See. She knows what it is!

The lesbian thing - erm, possibility? - had never even crossed her mind. It’s not like Sayaka has an issue with lesbians or anything. She’s supportive and everything! It’s just that she doesn’t spend all her time thinking about lesbians or something. That’s just not what straight girls think about. And Sayaka’s straight. She’s still in love with Kyosuke, for crying out loud! Yup, 100% heterosexual here.

But Homura… could Homura really be in love with Madoka? _Well, obviously_ , she chides herself. Her chiding voice sounds annoyingly like Kyoko. But really, in retrospect, all the signs were there. The way she went out of her way to spend time with her. Her unusually caring nature. The deep, lingering looks she sent Madoka when the other girl wasn’t looking. But maybe Homura just wanted to be really close friends… Kyoko’s voice again pops into her head. _Are you serious right now?_

But Madoka… could Madoka really fall in love with Homura? Madoka doesn’t swing that way, does she? Well, now that Sayaka’s thinking about it, Madoka’s never really shown any interest in any boys… but she hasn’t shown interest in any girls either! And Madoka tells Sayaka everything. If Madoka was a lesbian, she would have told her, wouldn’t she? Or maybe it just never crossed Madoka’s mind either.

But Madoka doesn’t act like a lesbian! But what the hell do lesbians act like anyway? Homura acts all cool and mysterious. Madoka doesn’t act like that. But certainly not all lesbians are like Homura. That would just be weird. Actually that's a little terrifying; Sayaka shivers at the thought of a group of girls who are all clones of Homura. Lesbians probably just act like normal people. Oh God. Who else is a lesbian? What other gay gal could have been right under Sayaka’s nose this entire time? Sayaka needs to know. For… reasons.

/

Sayaka's search history later that night:

what is a lesbian

how to tell if a girl is a lesbian

how to tell if a girl is a lesbian or just wants to be friends

how to tell if a girl is a lesbian or is just really nice

what would two girls do together anyway??

OH MY GOD

how to unsee things

how to regain my HETEROSEXUAL innocence

pls

lesbian doujinshi

/

The next day, using her newfound knowledge from WikiHow pages, she observes Madoka and Homura at the bus stop. Homura obviously treats Madoka like she's special to her. Does Madoka treat Homura differently than she treats her other friends? Or is Homura just an ordinary friend to her?

“Are you okay, Sayaka?” Madoka asks.

“Huh? Of course!” Sayaka answers, rubbing the back of her head. Totally casual.

Madoka looks skeptical. “Okay. It's just, you had a little crease between your eyebrows. Like you were looking at a really hard math problem! Is everything alright?”

Damn Madoka and her observational powers. Sayaka was supposed to be the one observing, not the other way around!

“I'm really fine!” Sayaka answers with an awkward laugh. Thank God that Kyoko, who is currently preoccupied with a game on her phone, isn't really paying attention to their exchange. She would see right through it and then drag her through the mud. Madoka probably sees right through it too, but she's too kind to drag her.

/

Eventually Sayaka caves to the curiosity and asks Kyoko while they pick up drinks for the older students together. “Do you think Madoka would actually date Homura? Like ever?”

Kyoko takes an annoyingly long sip of her Sprite. “Why do you care?”

Why _does_ she care? It's none of her business, not really, and it wouldn't significantly impact the way she views Madoka. Still… “Madoka's my best friend! I'm just curious, okay?”

Kyoko shrugs. “I've known Homerun for a while, but I don't much anything about Madoka. You're her best friend, so shouldn't you know?” She pauses and puts her hand on her chin mockingly. “Oh, wait a minute, I forgot, you don't even know what a lesbian is!”

Sayaka wants to smash her glass of lemonade right over Kyoko’s head. “I know what a lesbian is! I web searched it! I mean, I knew what a lesbian was before that!”

“Has Madoka ever shown any interest in boys? No, that wouldn’t matter. She could still be bisexual,” Kyoko says thoughtfully. “Sayaka, you do know what bisexual means, right?”

Kyoko’s completely serious tone irritates Sayaka even more than her mocking tone. I mean, who does she think she is? Sayaka isn’t clueless! She knows what bisexual means! Even as her face turns bright red and her heart starts racing again, she doesn’t make the mistake of screaming this time. Instead she crosses her arms over her chest and says, “Yes, I do, okay? Ugh, whatever. You're just admitting you don't know anything about Madoka either.”

“I know more than you at least,” Kyoko retorts, although her displeased frown proves that Sayaka was right.

“Oh yeah? Prove it,” she challenges. This is probably a bad idea, but it's too late now, and Sayaka has a tendency to not do what she shouldn't do when it comes to Kyoko Sakura.

“Let's play a game,” Kyoko says a bit too casually. Uh oh. She points her lemonade bottle at Etsu Shiraishi, one of their best varsity hitters. She's also known for her cool haircut with its pink streaks. “Is she into girls?”

This _was_ a bad idea. Sayaka squints across the field and tilts her head. “Uh, no?”

“Wrong!” Kyoko barks. She puts her palm on her forehead. “Jesus Christ, that was supposed to be an easy warm up round. She's been dating Michie since last summer!”

“Michie? As in Michie Umesaka, on _our_ team, who’s really good at pitching?”

“Yes!” Kyoko responds, frustrated.

“There's no way…” Sayaka says in wonderment. “I would have noticed... I thought they were just really good friends!”

Kyoko sighs loudly and turns away. “Bye. I'm done here for today.”

They really should be heading back now with the drinks. But Sayaka has one more question. “Kyoko,” she begins, hesitantly. The other girl doesn't turn, but Sayaka knows she's listening. “Are _you_ into girls?”

Kyoko moves her head slowly. When she finally faces Sayaka, looking over her shoulder, she's smirking. “Finally, you got one right.”

Okay, she actually had two more questions. Sayaka bites her lip. “I'm sorry if this is a rude question, but how did you know?”

Kyoko doesn’t answer immediately, and Sayaka’s terrified that she’s accidentally said something horribly offensive. But then, to Sayaka's surprise, Kyoko begins laughing. Before turning away once more, she asks tauntingly, her voice almost a purr, “Why don't you web search it?”

/

Sayaka's web history later that night:

what is a bisexual

how to know if a girl is bisexual

how to know if a girl is a lesbian or bisexual

how do you know if you are a lesbian or bisexual i’m asking for a FRIEND

lesbian doujinshi

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> okay this chapter's a little silly but i thought it was fun  
> sayaka is closetbigirlopinions.tumblr.com


	15. it can't really be that awful

90\. That's the number on the math test that the teacher passes back. Hell yeah! That's the best score Sayaka's received all year! Her face splits into a big grin. Kyoko actually happens to be awake, so Sayaka leans over and obnoxiously asks, “How’d you do on your math test? I got a 90.”

Kyoko just shows Sayaka her paper. Her jaw drops when she sees the number on the top. 91.

Fuck her! How does she even do it? “You're asleep all the time!”

“I'm just naturally brilliant, I guess,” Kyoko says with a lazy grin. And then she even has the gall to ask, “You want me to tutor you?”

Fuck! Her!

(No, not like that, not in like, the gay way, why is Sayaka thinking like this, she hates herself, she wants her HETEROSEXUAL innocence back.)

“I don’t need your help!” she huffs.

/

Unfortunately, Sayaka's seeing even more of Kyoko than usual, due to the fact that their first game of the spring season is coming up that very Monday. Aiko and Coach Ishido both want them to spend as much time practicing as possible - and they want them to have time to bond, so they'll work better as a team.

So that's why Sayaka's back in Mumi’s Cafe with the rest of the team on a Saturday afternoon. (Do people at this school ever hang out anywhere else?)

“I love this place,” Aiko gushes. “I get a green tea latte at least once a week.”

“Basic,” Kimi snorts.

“Basic,” Himeka agrees.

“Basic!” Kyoko adds.

“I don't think you're basic. I support you,” says Sayaka.

Aiko wraps her arm around Sayaka's shoulders. “Look! I finally got one person on my side! I like her.”

They order one by one. Sayaka's deciding between a vanilla shake and a BLT sandwich when Kyoko bumps into her to point out that Etsu and Michie are holding hands. “I told you they were a couple.” Sayaka can feel Kyoko's warm breath by her ear. She's too close. Sayaka involuntarily shivers.

“Yeah whatever,” she mumbles, resisting the urge to childishly stick out her tongue. Now that Kyoko’s pointed them out, Sayaka can’t help but to (discreetly) observe the couple. They aren’t one of those overly affectionate couples who feel the need to make out every ten seconds, which means Sayaka had some justification for thinking they were just friends, right? They’re just casually holding hands, which straight girls totally do. Etsu whispers something into Michie’s ear, and Michie blushes and laughs gently. It’s so soft and sweet and cute that it makes Sayaka’s heart stir.

Sayaka suddenly feels a sharp jab in her ribs. “Stop staring. It’s weird,” Kyoko says. “Also, it’s your turn to order.”

“I’m not being weird!” Sayaka says defensively. Although maybe she was? She’s definitely not going to admit that to Kyoko. She ignores the other girl and places her order. With her being distracted, she hadn’t chosen what she was going to get, but the cashier is staring at her impatiently, so she says the first thing that pops into her mind which is, “A green tea latte, please.”

“Are you kidding me?” Kyoko says with a snort.

Sayaka feels herself turning red, but, no, she refuses to be embarrassed! She does like green tea lattes, after all. There’s nothing wrong with that! She crosses her arms. “Do you have a problem?”

“Not at all,” Kyoko replies smoothly.

“Good.” Once again, Sayaka resists the urge to stick out her tongue and joins the other girls at their table.

/

Since there’s a dozen girls on the team, the seniors have pushed three tables together to make enough space for all of them to sit. About half of the seats are already taken; the other half is up for grabs. Six seats, six choices. Sayaka sits at the end of the table, next to a group of second year students. And Kyoko, to Sayaka’s utter bewilderment, sits down right across from her. Why would she do that when there’s five other choices? Sayaka wouldn’t do that. Probably.

Sayaka’s pondering this when she’s distracted by a flash of gold. Her eyes widen at the sight of Mami Tomoe. Wait, why would she be here? Maybe Sayaka’s mistaken. But no, Mami’s features are unmistakable. Golden ringlets, perfectly curled with not a hair out of place. Warm eyes the color of honey, paired with a serene smile. Proper black stockings under her short skirt. The perfect picture of grace and maturity. Sayaka’s always admired her. She was the epitome of what Sayaka aspired to be: the nurturing, principled, ladylike, beautiful star of the softball team.

Mami turns around and suddenly starts approaching their table. What? Why is she coming their way? Sayaka’s not sure what to do. _Say hi, duh_ , she scolds herself. But Sayaka hasn’t had a proper conversation with Mami in over a year - not since Mami graduated and moved up to Mitakihara High School. They were on the same softball team in junior high, and they were fairly close - Mami took Sayaka under her wing and taught her how to take her game to the next level. But it was hard to stay in contact after Mami left. They were both busy, and Sayaka was really caught up with her new sport, track.

“Hello, Sayaka,” says Mami.

“Hi!” says Sayaka, her voice unnaturally high. She coughs. “So, um, what are you doing here?”

“I work here! I’m usually in the back cooking, but I’m on break,” says Mami. She points at the name tag on her breast.

“I didn’t know you worked here! That’s so cool!” Sayaka says. She makes a note to visit Mumi’s Cafe more often; it can’t really be that awful if Mami works here. Maybe Mami could give her discounts on the food and offer tips about softball.

“Wow. So cool indeed,” Kyoko interjects, her voice dripping with sarcasm. “Aren’t you going to say hello to me too, Mami?” She sounds more pissed off than usual, and Sayaka breaks her starry-eyed gaze from Mami to send Kyoko a strange look. “Kyoko!” says Mami. “Sorry, I didn’t see you.”

Sayaka whips her head right back to Mami. “Wait, you know each other?”

“We met at an after school prep program,” Mami explains. An after school prep program? The same one where Kyoko met Homura? What are the odds?! It really is a small world…

“Didn’t see me? Or were you just ignoring me?” Kyoko accuses, glaring daggers at Mami. Huh. It’s weird for Sayaka to see Kyoko glaring at someone who isn’t herself. The entire situation is weird. What the hell does Kyoko have against Mami? How could anyone have something against Mami?

“Kyoko, I genuinely didn’t see you. I’m sorry,” Mami responds calmly, not showing any signs of a rising temper at all. So cool and mature! Sayaka wishes she could be just like her!

“Sure,” Kyoko says, rolling her eyes. Huh. She _really_ doesn’t like Mami. But why? Maybe she’ll ask Mami about it; it seems like a safer bet than asking Kyoko whatever happened. But she’ll do that later. Right now, she wants to catch up.

“Ignore Kyoko! She’s always like that,” Sayaka says. “How have you been, Mami?”

Mami explains how high school is starting to get more tough, and she’s been pretty busy staying on top of all her classes and playing softball and working on the weekends. She’s working in Kazamino, despite the long commute, because her aunt and uncle own the cafe, and a lot of her friends work at the cafe too. “It just made sense,” she explains.

“I can’t believe you’re studying _and_ working _and_ playing softball! I would never be able to pull that off,” Sayaka says in awe. She can barely manage her studies and softball. Is Mami even human?

“It is difficult, but I’m managing. It’s just about how you manage your time,” Mami says modestly. She checks her watch. “Speaking of time, I think my break’s over. It was nice seeing you again, Sayaka. I’m sorry that we can’t talk for longer. You should tell me what you’re up to next time. My lunch break is usually from 2:30 to 3.”

Sayaka nods and mentally inscribes the information. “Yeah, I’ll definitely try to come and see you next time!” She waves goodbye as Mami makes her way back to the kitchen. She should come by next week after softball practice. Or maybe she should stop by tomorrow! She should invite Madoka too; Madoka and Mami got along really well. And Madoka will probably bring Homura, which Sayaka isn’t sure how to feel about. But oh, tomorrow she should be practicing for their first game…

“They called your fucking green tea latte while you were busy talking with Mami,” Kyoko says, interrupting her thoughts. She takes a rather aggressive bite of her sandwich.

Sayaka looks at the green drink in front of her with surprise. “You brought this for me?”

“Don’t look so surprised,” Kyoko says. “I happened to see your drink while I was picking up my sandwich at the counter, and being the nice person that I am, I decided to get it for you. You’re welcome.”

Something about Kyoko’s prickly tone makes Sayaka feel like she’s missing something. She’s not picking up on something that’s probably important. But she can’t pinpoint what exactly that something is. Or maybe Kyoko’s just being her usual prickly self, and Sayaka’s overanalyzing.

“Thanks,” Sayaka says, choosing to ignore what may or may not be bothering Kyoko. “I always knew you would make a great butler,” she adds teasingly.

“Shut up!”

Sayaka smiles to herself as she takes a sip of her drink. She’s not sure why Kyoko’s acting so strange, but green tea lattes have never tasted so sweet.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> a wild mami appears! originally i wasn't going to put her in the fic but i felt bad because all the other 4 main magical girls are here so... i gave her a cameo


	16. i am not nervous!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i am so sorry that it's been a month since the last update! remember at the beginning when i said i'd try to update every week? lol OTL i've been experiencing some writer's block regarding this fic so not sure when the next update will be.

Sayaka wakes up unusually early on Sunday morning, and she decides to see that as a sign that she should spend the extra time practicing softball. She’s strangely nervous. Well, it’s not strange for her to get nervous before a game, but it is strange for her to get nervous a whole day before a game. Usually the nerves don’t hit her until thirty minutes before.

She leaves her parents a note - they’re not really morning people and are still sound asleep - and heads outside with her bat, her glove, a couple balls, a tee, and some masking tape. She’ll be practicing on her own, so the batting tee and tape will come in handy.

Moving around helps calm her nerves. She walks quickly to the park and heads over to the handball courts. Luckily, no one’s around. The handball courts usually aren’t that popular of a spot. She marks a target on the wall with some tape and runs back several yards with a ball in hand. She’s ready.

/

Madoka finds her about an hour later, sweaty and thirsty and a little bit frustrated. Today is just not her day. She can’t pitch or bat or catch, and the warm spring sun is starting to feel aggressive.

“Sayaka!” she cries out, running towards her while waving. “I found you! Here, take some water.” She passes over a refreshingly cold water of bottle.

“Thanks,” says Sayaka. She downs a few greedy gulps. “How did you find me, anyway?”

“Well, I asked your parents, and they told me you were at the park to play softball. And then I had to look around a bit because you weren’t at the softball field! Actually Homura suggested this spot!” She gestures at the dark-haired girl hovering nearby and inspecting her nails.

“That’s nice,” Sayaka responds, unsure of what else to say.

“How’s practice going?” Madoka asks.

“Great!” Sayaka smiles and hopes it doesn’t look too shaky.

Madoka frowns, unfortunately not buying into Sayaka’s smile. She cocks her head. “Have you eaten breakfast?”

Sayaka shakes her head. She doesn’t always eat breakfast, and she left in a hurry this morning. Breakfast isn’t that big of a deal.

Madoka gasps, clearly believing breakfast is a big deal. “I’ll get you something right away!” She starts to turn away, and then she turns right back. “But ah, I don’t want to leave you alone here, Sayaka!”

“I’ll be fi -” Sayaka begins.

“I’ll stay with her,” Homura interrupts. “I’ll even help her practice.”

Before Sayaka can agree, Madoka jumps forward and engulfs Homura in a hug. “Oh, thank you! I’m going to get Sayaka something to eat! See you!” She runs off quickly, thus not noticing Homura’s blush. Sayaka, however, notices. This is her chance, she suddenly realizes. Her chance to confront Homura about Madoka without aforementioned girl being present. But how should she bring it up? _Hey Homura, are you gay for Madoka?_ probably isn’t appropriate small talk material.

Homura tosses a softball towards Sayaka, pulling her out of her thoughts. Sayaka almost misses the ball due to her distraction, but thankfully years of playing have honed her reflexes. She catches the ball and watches with a mixture of awe and confusion as Homura pulls a glove from her bag.

“Did you prepare for this? Or do you just carry that around with you all the time?” Sayaka asks.

Homura shrugs - not an answer. That girl really is a mystery. She just opens up her glove, as if to ask Sayaka to throw the ball back.

Sayaka moves back several yards to give herself more of a challenge and then throws the ball to Homura. Homura catches the ball effortlessly. They throw the ball back and forth a few more times. Homura’s form is near perfect the entire time.

“Wow, you really are good,” Sayaka admits, somewhat begrudgingly. “I can’t believe you gave up softball for art.”

Without missing a beat (or the ball), Homura responds, “I wanted to try something new.”

Sayaka narrows her eyes and prods. “And you just _happened_ to choose art?”

“Yes.”

This conversation isn’t going anywhere. Homura isn’t going to crack. Well, maybe Sayaka should try a different approach. Something subtle, though.

“Hey Homura, are you gay for Madoka?” Sayaka ends up blurting out. Oops. Her face turns bright red. Why did she say that?

Homura’s face remains as stoic as ever, but she misses the ball. Sayaka’s just as surprised as Homura is. The two of them both stare at the ball on the ground, a few feet in front of Homura, and say nothing.

Finally, Homura picks up the ball and says, “Yes.”

Sayaka misses the ball.

/

Madoka returns with two breakfast sandwiches, a bottle of orange juice, and profuse apologies. “Sorry, the line was kind of long! I hope you didn’t get very hungry while waiting!”

“Madoka, what did I tell you about apologizing?” Homura chides. “You don’t need to apologize for everything.”

“Oops! Sorry - ah, I did it again!” Madoka grins sheepishly and hands Sayaka her sandwich. She gives the other sandwich, as well as the orange juice, to Homura.

“You didn’t need to get me a sandwich,” Homura says, even as she accepts the food. “Thank you.”

Sayaka starts eating the sandwich voraciously, pretending that she’s too focused on the food to talk to Madoka, when in reality her mind is whirling with what Homura told her just a few moments ago. _Yes_. Followed by a very long, very awkward pause. Which was then followed by some awkward softball throwing with no dialogue and no eye contact. And then finally, Sayaka had mustered up the courage to say something else, when Homura had added _Don’t tell her. Please._

That was fine with Sayaka. She hadn’t been planning on telling Madoka anyway. Whatever’s going on between Homura and Madoka… that’s between them. She doesn’t want to interfere. Even if it is Madoka, her sweet and precious best friend who she wants to protect. Damn. If she’s thinking about it like that, she feels extremely tempted to tell Madoka. She needs a second opinion on this. Not Madoka’s, though, and definitely not Homura’s. Which leaves…

/

“Hell no. Let those gay bitches figure it out themselves,” Kyoko says, munching on a stick of Pocky.

Sayaka turns around and glares at the redhead. “First of all, don’t you dare call Madoka a bitch! Second of all, I thought you didn’t know if Madoka was gay or not! Third of all, was I asking you?” She turns back to Etsu - softball player extraordinaire, cool big sister of the team, and known lesbian - imploringly. “You have, um, experience with this kind of stuff, right? What do you think?”

Etsu scratches her head and smiles gently. “Sorry, Sayaka. I have to side with Kyoko on this one. You should stay out of your friend’s business. She’ll figure it out.”

“See, I told you.” Kyoko’s smirk is absolutely infuriating. Sayaka resists the urge to snatch that stick of Pocky right out of her mouth. She knows how Kyoko gets about food, but also, if Kyoko attacked her first, Sayaka would have an excuse to punch her. No, no, she needs to keep her temper in check. For Madoka. For Kyosuke.

“But -” Sayaka begins to protest when she’s interrupted by Coach Ishido calling for the team’s attention. Oh right. Butterflies burst anew from Sayaka’s stomach. Their very first softball game is in less than an hour.

/

Their first game is a home game, and Sayaka’s definitely not nervous when she sees the other school’s bus roll onto the scene. The girls from Gertrud Senior High School are absolutely enormous. In their black and yellow uniforms, they remind Sayaka of wasps. The big, fat kind that Sayaka may or may not be afraid of. It’s not like the Kazamino girls are tiny either; they have some tall seniors, specifically Himeka and Utako. But _all_ the girls from Gertrud are tall, even their freshmen. Assuming that there are freshmen on their team; it could be all upperclassmen, though. How would she know?

Sayaka wipes some of the sweat off her brow. She shifts from foot to foot, uncomfortable in her new softball uniform. The jersey is unfortunately the same barf green shade of their regular school uniforms, and on top of that, it’s a little stiff. She’s not fond of their brown knee socks either. Who designed this uniform, and why did they think looking like a tree was a good idea? At least she’s number 5. She likes the number 5.

“Aw, is somebody nervous?” someone behind her remarks.

“I am not nervous!” Sayaka snaps, knowing without turning that it’s Kyoko. Why does Kyoko enjoy tormenting her so much?

“Here. It’ll calm your nerves,” Kyoko says, her voice soft. Sayaka turns around at that. Kyoko stands in front of her, an offering of a single Pocky stick in one hand. Sayaka’s so surprised that she accepts the Pocky in a daze.

She’s halfway through the stick when she returns to her senses. What is she doing? Accepting something from Kyoko? She narrows her eyes. “What the hell did you lace this Pocky with? Is this your attempt to sabotage my performance during the game?”

“Nothing! Jeez, if I wanted to knock you out, I would just slug you in the face. I’ll take that back, you ungrateful bitch.” Kyoko reaches to snatch the rest of the Pocky out of Sayaka’s hand, but Sayaka quickly stuffs it into her mouth. Ha!

“That’s what I get for trying to be nice,” Kyoko mutters under her breath, turning away. Sayaka suddenly feels bad. Oh. Why is she such an asshole?

“Kyoko, wait -” Sayaka begins when once again she’s interrupted by Coach Ishido calling for the team’s attention.

The game has officially begun.

/

The Gertrud girls are pretty much just as intimidating as they look. It’s only the first inning, and they’ve scored four runs. One of the girls even managed to hit one of Michie’s curveballs. Sayaka’s trying her best as the second base - they’re all trying their best - but she isn’t doing much beyond returning balls to Michie after one of the Gertrud girls make it on base.

“You’ve got this!” Etsu cheers as Michie prepares to pitch another ball. The rest of the team joins in.

“Come on, Michie!” Sayaka shouts, even as her stomach churns nervously. The beefy girl behind the bat is not helping out with her nerves.

Michie rolls her shoulders and neck slowly. Then, within the blink of an eye, she pitches. The ball hurtles towards the batter, who doesn’t swing. The umpire calls a ball. Sayaka’s stomach churns faster.

“Get her out! You’ve got this!” Etsu continues to cheer as Michie receives the ball and prepares to pitch once more.

“You’ve got this!” Sayaka echoes, as their other teammates shout similar cheers.

“Go girl!”

“You can do it!”

Once again, Michie pitches. This time, the batter swings and hits a weak ground ball that Michie herself quickly catches. The umpire calls an out. Sayaka releases a sigh of relief; that was the third out. It’s finally their own team’s turn to bat.

/

They perform better during the rest of the game, but even so, it’s a rough game. It’s the last inning, they have a single out, and the score’s at 6-7. Sayaka wipes her sweaty hands on her pants and prays for a miracle. No, she doesn’t need a miracle. She just needs to give this game her all and go all out fighting! She adjusts her helmet, pulls on her batting gloves, and steps up to the plate.

God, she’s so nervous. She’s crazy nervous. She hasn’t been hitting well during this game at all. She hears the team shouting encouragements behind her - “You’ve got this!” “Go, Sayaka!” “Give it your best!” “Don’t disappoint me bitch!” Against her will, Sayaka laughs. That last one must be Kyoko.

Feeling a little better, Sayaka meets the pitcher’s glare with an even glare of her own. She has a good feeling about this one. She’s ready.

With the ball heading towards her at fifty miles per hour, Sayaka swings with all her might.

/

She thought she couldn’t get any more nervous, but here she is, the most nervous she’s ever been during the entire game - no, her entire life.

She’s on third base. Kyoko’s on second base. A senior named Shizue Kimoto is up to bat. They have two outs. The fate of this game will be decided in the next few moments, and Sayaka can’t do a damn thing about it. All she can do is watch. And fidget. And pray. And scream cheers. But that’s it. Sayaka can’t do anything else. Right now, this game is off her shoulders.

Sayaka anxiously jumps up and down as she cheers Shizue on. The Gertrud girl on third base looks at her a bit strangely, but Sayaka doesn’t care because she needs to get her nervous energy out somehow! Ah, she can’t watch. Ah, she needs to watch.

First pitch. Strike. Second pitch. Foul. Third pitch.

Shizue swings. The bat hits the ball with a glorious sound and flies off in a glorious, glorious arc, and Sayaka flies off the base. She momentarily wonders whether or not the ball’s just a pop fly that’ll immediately get caught, but mostly she doesn’t think at all. She just runs. Her palms are so sweaty in their gloves and her heart is beating so fast in her chest and she’s a mess of adrenaline and emotions as she bolts past home base. As she catches her breath, Aiko gives her a high five and a hug, but Sayaka quickly turns away to see where the ball’s landed, and she gasps when she sees the ball making it towards the infield and Kyoko running towards her at top speed.

And then she’s screaming. “Kyoko, you better make it! Haul your ass over here! Kyoko! _Don’t disappoint me bitch!_ ”

When Kyoko makes it to the base - before the ball! - Sayaka shrieks and grabs her and envelopes her in a huge hug. They’ve won! They’ve won their very first game! She’s grinning so much that her face hurts and she’s still on an adrenaline high and she squeezes Kyoko tight.

“Jeez, calm down!” Kyoko says, but she’s hugging Sayaka back, and although Sayaka can’t see her face, she knows she’s smiling too.

“The game’s not over!” Coach Ishido exclaims, causing Sayaka to push Kyoko away and put her eyes back on the field. Coach Ishido’s correct. Shizue’s on second base, and a freshman named Homi Sako’s getting ready to bat. Could they possibly score even more runs? She’s so excited.

/

They don’t score any more runs after that, but it doesn’t matter because they still win the game. Sayaka’s thrilled, and she gives both Shizue and Homi hugs. She doesn’t give Kyoko another hug because the adrenaline has worn off, and now she feels kind of awkward. But before they head their separate ways, she does have something to tell her.

“Thanks for the Pocky,” she says as they walk to the bus stop together. (It’s not like they meant to walk to the bus stop together. They just happened to be walking in the same direction.)

Kyoko turns, the surprise momentarily visible on her face. And then she smiles coolly. “Just thought you needed it. You looked like a nervous wreck.”

“I was not a nervous wreck!” Sayaka whines. She crosses her arms. “You’re a jerk, you know?”

“Do you want my Pocky or not?” Kyoko conjures up another box of the chocolate snack and waves it in front of her face.

Sayaka unsuccessfully attempts to snatch the Pocky out of Kyoko’s hand. “Where the hell were you even keeping that?”

“I have my secrets,” Kyoko says mysteriously. She opens up the package and begins crunching on the sticks obnoxiously. “Na, na, none for you.”

“Did you just say _na, na_?” Sayaka says incredulously. “What are you, five?”

“Na, na, none for you!” Kyoko repeats, louder. “I’ve shared enough for like the next decade!” She sticks her nose in the air.

Sayaka can’t help it; she bursts into laughter. Kyoko stares at her stonily for a few seconds before joining in. She laughs and laughs. She laughs until her sides hurt and her eyes water and her breaths become wheezes. Kyoko’s absolutely ridiculous. Sayaka thinks she might like her a little bit.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> writing softball scenes is rough haha why am i writing a softball au again?


	17. should've started studying earlier

Getting over Kyosuke is a funny thing. Some days she thinks she’s doing a lot better, and she doesn’t think about him at all. Okay, more like she does think about him but only briefly! Or she does think about him, but it doesn’t put a pang in her heart. Or she does think about him, but she’s able to quickly shove the thought to the back of her mind and focus on school or softball or literally anything else. But other days she stares at her homework blankly and wonders what Kyosuke and Hitomi are doing right now and thinks about everything she did wrong and everything wrong with her.

Why didn’t she tell Kyosuke about her feelings? Why did she let Hitomi have him? Why wasn’t she good enough for Kyosuke in the first place? Why did she quit playing the piano when she was six? Why was she so terrible at playing the piano? Why is she so terrible at everything she does?

“Ow!” Sayaka says as something sharp jabs her left shoulder. She turns to her left to see Kyoko casually scribbling something into a notebook, but she knows it was her. “What the hell was that for?”

Kyoko looks up at her innocently. “Just thought you needed a little jab from reality.”

Now it’s her turn to play innocent. “What do you mean?” she asks, even as she feels herself turning red.

“You were literally staring at the same page for ten minutes,” Kyoko points out.

Sayaka crosses her arms. “I was not!” (She totally was.)

At this point, the librarian, a thin woman with large eyes and larger glasses, comes over and shushes them, so they unfortunately can’t continue arguing. It’s the second time she’s come over and shushed them today, and she really does not look amused.

Sayaka returns to her history book with renewed vigor. History’s usually one of her better subjects, but the book is so long-winded and boring. She can’t help but to tune out every now and then, and she felt like she wasn’t focusing that well at home. She needed a change of scenery, and she had extra time since after school activities were cancelled for the week for midterms. So she’d decided to visit the school library instead, when lo and behold, she’d discovered Kyoko flipping through the English textbook. And for some reason, her stupid self had decided to sit right next to her.

Ugh, she can’t focus on this book. She pushes it away and takes out her math homework instead. This doesn’t really help since all that changes is that she starts staring blankly at a set of math problems instead of a page of historical information.

“Need help?” Kyoko whispers.

“No,” Sayaka responds reflexively. “Focus on yourself. Your English scores need work.”

Kyoko frowns. “Tell you what. Help me with English, and I’ll help you with math.”

Sayaka’s first instinct is to say no, but she takes the time to actually think about it. Midterms are literally next week. She should have started studying earlier, but she didn’t. She could use the help. This could be a mutually beneficial arrangement… if she and Kyoko don’t rip off each other’s heads in the process.

“Deal,” she hears herself saying.

/

Ten minutes later, she and Kyoko find themselves with their butts on the grass and a temporary ban from the library.

“This is all your fault,” Sayaka harrumphs.

“My fault? How is this my fault? You’re the one who started it!” Kyoko accuses.

To be honest, Sayaka isn’t sure who started the argument. Maybe it was her. But maybe it was Kyoko! All she knows is that one minute they were getting along, with Kyoko quietly teaching her math. And the next moment, they were yelling at each other about Sayaka being a slow student and Kyoko being a shitty teacher and also something about _don’t use my favorite eraser, I’m saving that!_

Kyoko lies down in the grass with hands behind her head, surprisingly calm about the incident. “So, what now?”

Sayaka lies down beside Kyoko and stares at the puffy white clouds. It’s a beautiful spring day. The sun is warm, but not uncomfortably warm, and coupled with a slight breeze and the shade of cherry blossom trees, it’s actually very pleasant. “I guess we could study outside. I mean we should, right?” Except, now that she’s outside, the last thing she wants to do is study. They could play some softball. They could explore the campus. They could take a nap.

But Kyoko sits back up and nods. “That’s a good idea. It’s not the library, but this is a perfectly fine place to study. At least we won’t get kicked out if you end up starting a fight again.”

Sayaka sits up and crosses her arms. “Excuse me?” she says indignantly. “I did not start that fight. _You_ did!”

Kyoko rolls her eyes and tosses her a workbook. “Get cracking, my fight-starting student.”

“You’re an ass,” Sayaka grumbles.

/

Sayaka wakes up feeling warm and safe and groggy. Where is she? She looks around and sees cherry blossoms and a darkening sky. Oh. She must have fallen asleep while studying with Kyoko. Speaking of Kyoko…

“Eep!” Sayaka realizes that her head is on Kyoko’s shoulder and scoots away. Her heart is suddenly beating unusually fast. She can’t believe they fell asleep! Well, she can believe that Kyoko fell asleep. Kyoko falls asleep _all_ the time. But how could Sayaka fall asleep? She’s disappointed in herself.

Kyoko’s _still_ fast asleep, despite Sayaka’s embarrassing outburst. Yeah, that’s why her heart’s beating so fast; she’s embarrassed. Just embarrassed. She hardly even notices the gentle and peaceful expression on Kyoko’s face, and she definitely doesn’t feel an urge to put her head on Kyoko’s shoulder again and fall back asleep!   

Enough of this. Sayaka scoots closer, grabs her sharpest pencil, and pokes Kyoko in the arm. “Wake up!”

Kyoko wakes up with a jolt. “What was that for?” she complains.

“We’re going to miss the bus. Wipe the drool from your face,” Sayaka says brusquely.

“I do _not_ drool,” Kyoko says, even as she wipes around her mouth.

Sayaka smiles to herself. “Let’s study tomorrow,” she says on a whim.

“Sure. I will graciously offer up my tutoring services once again,” Kyoko says.

Sayaka scoffs. “Please! You’re a terrible tutor! I’m teaching you more stuff than you’re teaching me!”

They bicker the rest of the way to the bus.

/

When Madoka hears of their ban, she immediately offers to study outside with Sayaka, but Sayaka insists that she’ll be fine with Kyoko. Madoka has a cold right now, and she shouldn’t suffer through her library ban just because she and Kyoko got in trouble again. In the end, it’s Homura that convinces Madoka to stay inside by saying she has a cough and doesn’t want to study outside. Sayaka’s not even sure if Homura’s cough is real or if she’s faking it. Sayaka still doesn’t completely trust the girl, but as Etsu said, she ought to leave the pair alone. She trusts Etsu.

And so Sayaka begins her study sessions with Kyoko. Despite Kyoko’s aggressive nature and penchant to steal her favorite eraser, Kyoko is not a bad study partner. She helps her brush up on her forgotten algebra, explains trigonometry, and even shares her snacks if she’s in a good mood. She pays attention to Sayaka’s English lessons and asks her questions about pronunciation and only scribbles English curse words into her workbook a few times.

They study other subjects together too. For their other subjects, they mostly read and do their worksheets in silence, occasionally asking each other a question. Sayaka expected Kyoko to be annoying half the time and asleep the other half of the time, but Kyoko’s surprisingly focused during their independent study sessions. This just motivates Sayaka to work harder!

The fourth day that they have to study, they run into a problem: it’s raining. It’s not a light drizzle either; it’s a full on downpour. The ground transformed into a lake overnight, and on top of that it’s damn cold. There’s no way they can study outside, but the librarian still refuses to let them in until midterms are over.

“This is all your fault,” Sayaka grumbles as they head over to Mumi’s Cafe. (She and Kyoko managed to agree that, with the options that they had, the cafe would be their best bet.)

“My fault? For the last time, I did _not_ start that fight. You did. So really, it’s your fault that we can’t study in the library,” Kyoko shoots back.

Sayaka considers pushing Kyoko into one of the puddles, just for fun. She settles for kicking a bit of water towards her instead. Again, just for fun.

Kyoko does not consider this to be fun. She stares at the water seeping into her pants, looks up at Sayaka, and narrows her eyes. “Sayaka Miki, I am so going to get you for this!”

Sayaka may be a little bit dense at times, but she immediately understands what to do in this situation. She bolts.

“I’m going to get you!” Kyoko shrieks.

“Not if you can’t catch me!” she yells.

/

They’re soaking wet by the time they get to Mumi’s Cafe. Running through a downpour at top speed, even with an umbrella, is not a good idea if you want to stay dry. Kyoko never “got her,” but with how wet Sayaka is, it really doesn’t make a difference. Sayaka’s only consolation is that Kyoko’s just as wet as she is.

They definitely get some dirty looks from the other patrons of the cafe, but Sayaka adopts a “who cares” look straight out of Kyoko’s book, orders her latte, and gets right back to studying. They ran into a bit of a bump today, but Sayaka’s still determined to do well on all her exams and totally beat Kyoko’s scores. She wouldn’t be able to stand it if Kyoko did better than her on a single subject! It’s time for the student to surpass the teacher. She takes out her math book.

“Don’t think you’re going to outdo me,” Kyoko says with a smirk. She takes out her English book. “Hey, wanna make a bet?”

“Yeah,” Sayaka says against her better judgment.

“Whoever gets the higher test average owes the other a drink from Mumi’s Cafe.”

“Deal.”

They shake their wet hands on it.

/

It rains heavily the entire weekend, but the morning of the actual exams, the sun comes out. Go figure. It would be a beautiful day to play softball, Sayaka mourns. But she has to focus on her tests, no matter how much the afternoon sun seems to be taunting her. She glances over at Kyoko, who’s casually flipping through her notes one last time.

Yup. She needs to focus and do her very best. No thoughts of the sun, no thoughts of Kyosuke. Only the task that’s ahead of her.

/

Sayaka hasn’t been this nervous since softball results came out a month and a half ago. On the library desktop (yes, she’s finally been allowed in), she nervously drums her fingers on her leg and constantly refreshes the portal where her grades will appear. Refresh, nothing. Refresh, nothing. Refresh - oh.

This is it. The moment of truth. The grades have been posted for everyone to see. She scans through the screen to find her student ID and Kyoko’s. She’s certain she did better. She can feel it in her bones. Soon she’ll be sitting in Mumi’s Cafe sipping on a green tea latte that Kyoko bought for her. Yup. And she won’t even share!

/

“I hate you,” Sayaka grumbles as she pays for Kyoko’s large double chocolate chip frappuccino with whipped cream.

Kyoko grins and licks her lips. “I hate you too, Sayaka.”

Next time. Sayaka will get her next time.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i realize i've yet to say this, so thanks to everyone who is reading and leaving kudos and commenting! i really appreciate it. also you'll see more updates next month because i am once again participating in camp nanowrimo!


	18. you do care, don't you?

After two weeks of mostly sitting around and studying and taking exams, it’s hard to get back into the swing of softball, even if Sayaka was practicing on her off times. Did she always get this many strikes and fouls? Did she always pant this hard while running laps?

Coach Ishido mercilessly pushes them during practice, reminding them that their next game is in a mere week. Sayaka curses the existence of exams, pushes through the pain, and tries her best not to stress out.

“Don’t worry about these games too much. Spring tournaments aren’t as important as summer tournaments. Plus, you’re a first year. You’ll have plenty of other opportunities,” Aiko tells her in private, when Sayaka brings her lemonade. “You should still try your best, of course.”

Sayaka nods, feeling a little better. “Of course!”

/

Their next game is savage. The girls from Charlotte are savage. Sayaka feels like her head’s been bitten off as she accepts a bitter defeat.

“Man, they’re always like that,” Kyoko says, shaking her head once the game is over. “I watched them play against us last year. I think we lasted a little longer than last time, if that makes you feel any better.”

“We did,” says Akira Toma, one of the seniors on the team. Sayaka waits to hear more details, but that’s it. Akira doesn’t talk much.

“Hey, you were at a bunch of our games last year, weren’t you? You were our biggest fan!” Aiko says. “I recognized you immediately. I was so happy when you joined the team.”

“I saw you even at some of our away games!” adds Himeka. “We really appreciated your support.”

“ _Y_ _ou_? You were a fangirl?” Sayaka whips her head to stare at Kyoko. A sudden image of Kyoko in the softball stands, wearing green face paint and waving a #1 foam finger, pops into Sayaka’s mind, and she almost starts giggling.

“Shut up,” Kyoko mumbles, turning red. “I don’t want to be reminded of my middle school days.”

Sayaka puts her hand under her chin as if pondering something very deep. “You always act like you don’t care about anything, but you do care, don’t you? In fact, you care a lot!”

“Shut _up_ ,” Kyoko repeats, more aggressively this time.

/

The movie is Madoka’s idea. “We’ve all been so busy lately,” she tells Sayaka on the phone. “First, with exams, and then, with clubs… We only get to talk on the bus, and that's only a little bit! Wouldn’t it be nice if we could all just spend time with each other and relax? If you’re still busy, you don’t have to come, of course!” Sayaka can just picture her nervously looking down and playing with her fingers.

“Don’t be silly. I’m never going to be too busy for you,” Sayaka reassures her.

So on Sunday morning, Sayaka heads over to the bus station and waits for Madoka and everyone else. In classic Madoka fashion, Madoka had gone and invited Homura, Kyoko, Hitomi, and Kyosuke as well. The more the merrier and all that.

Sayaka's _totally_ fine with seeing Hitomi and Kyosuke today. It's been a while since Hitomi and Kyosuke got together. She's over it. She can handle seeing the two all holding hands and acting like a couple. She needs to face them eventually anyway. Yup. She'll be fine. At least, that's what she told Madoka last night.

Speak of the angel. Madoka arrives at the bus stop, with Homura right behind her. Madoka’s face splits into a grin the moment she sees Sayaka, and she gives her a big hug. Homura only gives her a slight nod. Hitomi and Kyosuke arrive next, holding hands. This doesn't send a pang into Sayaka’s heart at all. And she’s definitely not avoiding eye contact or anything like that. Kyoko arrives last. She's late. No surprise there.

Sayaka sits next to Madoka on the bus, and Kyoko sits with Homura. With Madoka right at her side, Sayaka tries not to stare at Kyosuke and Hitomi. But she also tries not to avoid looking at them too much because avoidance is similarly suspicious. Damn it, what is she supposed to do? _Just don't think about it_ , Sayaka tells herself. That's what she usually does. And she's usually pretty good at it. But how can she not think about it when Kyosuke and Hitomi are right there, laughing and casually touching knees?

“Are you okay?” Madoka asks, bringing her out of her thoughts.

“I'm fine,” Sayaka says as convincingly as she can. Maybe if she says it enough times she'll believe it. She anxiously adjusts the collar of her dress. The dress she definitely spent her time choosing. She's so pathetic.

/

Thankfully, Hitomi and Kyosuke aren't the type of couple that engages in much PDA. They don't even hold hands, and they talk to everyone in the group instead of being absorbed with each other. But it's still impossible for Sayaka to forget that they're a couple. She can just picture them in the darkness of the movie theater - Hitomi curling into Kyosuke’s side while Kyosuke wraps his arm around her shoulder…

“Are you okay?” Madoka asks (again), bringing her out of her thoughts (again).

“I’m fine!” Sayaka says, back in the present. Having just bought their tickets, they're in the movie theater waiting for Kyosuke to return from the bathroom and Hitomi to finish calling her overprotective mom.

Madoka opens her mouth slightly and then closes it again, her hesitation written all over her face. She tries again and says softly, “It’s okay if you're bothered by them. It's okay to care.”

“No it's not,” Kyoko says, needlessly inserting herself into the conversation. “Caring makes you weak. And vulnerable.”

“Yeah!” Sayaka says, before realizing who she's agreeing with. She flushes red. “Kyoko, no one asked you!”

“Someone's testy today,” Kyoko says, rolling her eyes.

Sayaka's about to retort when this time Homura needlessly inserts herself into the conversation.

“I used to hold similar beliefs, but I've come to conclusion that the ability to care demonstrates a certain depth of strength and character,” she says.

“No one asked you either, Homura,” Kyoko says.

“Yeah!” Sayaka says before, once again, realizing who she's agreeing with. But whatever, she's not actually mad about this one. Even Kyoko’s right sometimes.

Ever the pacifist, Madoka laughs awkwardly and says, “Hey look, Kyosuke and Hitomi are back! We still have some time before the movie, so why don't we buy snacks?”

“Movie theater snacks are a waste of money,” Kyoko says dismissively. “You have to smuggle your own.” She takes out a large bag of pretzels from the pocket of her zip-up hoodie.

“Agreed,” says Homura, producing several bags of popcorn and packets of dried squid from her backpack. How the hell did all those snacks even fit in there?

Kyoko’s eyes light up. She looks at Homura with a newfound respect. Ugh, Kyoko's such a sellout! “Homerun, you always know what's up,” she says solemnly.

/

The movie is average. The plot is about a girl acquiring magical powers to save the world from monsters or something, but the twist is that all the monsters were once girls just like them. Sayaka pays attention for the most part. She sneaks the occasional glance at Hitomi and Kyosuke, who are sitting together at her right. And just that. They're just sitting. No overt displays of affection that Sayaka notices, except once when Hitomi sneezes and Kyosuke immediately gives her his handkerchief. Sayaka also has to watch her popcorn because Kyoko is at her left and keeps trying to sneak her hand into Sayaka's popcorn bag.

“Eat your own,” Sayaka hisses the second time it happens. This time she _knows_ it's not an accident.

“Shh, I'm trying to watch the movie,” Kyoko replies obnoxiously. What a pain. If Madoka wasn't right there, Sayaka would have probably done something to get them kicked out of the theater.

/

After the movie is over, they decide to eat at a nearby buffet. The food is cheap and plentiful, and the restaurant is clean. What more could a group of high school students ask for? They set their bags down at the table and disperse into various directions.

Sayaka keeps her first plate simple: just rice, stir-fried noodles, teriyaki chicken, and beef brisket. She's the first to return to the table. She swallows her second bite when Hitomi sits at the table across from her.

“Hey,” Sayaka says, a bit awkwardly. It would've probably been more awkward to just stay silent, but then again, this is reminding her an awful lot of what happened the last time she and Hitomi were eating at a restaurant together, so maybe talking is actually the _even more_ awkward choice? It's too late, anyway. She opened her damn mouth.

“Hello,” says Hitomi. She sounds a little awkward as well. That actually makes Sayaka feel a little better. It's not just her.

And then… silence. Sayaka can't think of a single other thing to say. Thanks brain. Thanks for nothing!

“You know I never actually said thank you,” Hitomi finally says, breaking the silence.

“Thank you for what?” Sayaka asks, still kind of thinking of her useless brain.

“For giving me a chance with Kyosuke. Thank you,” Hitomi says.

“Oh, that,” Sayaka says, rubbing her head. She smiles and hopes it doesn't look too forced. “Well, it was no problem. You're a cute couple.” The thing is, they actually are. They aren't showy about their relationship, but it's obvious that they care about each other with their little looks and laughs and thoughtful gestures. Like Kyosuke pulling back Hitomi’s seat and Hitomi helping Kyosuke find his favorite foods at the buffet.

“Really?” Hitomi asks, blushing. God, she really does care about him.

“Yeah. I don't think Kyosuke was right for me. He's right for you.” Sayaka's not lying. Not with her words, anyway. Her light, casual tone - well, now that might be a lie.

“Thanks,” Hitomi says, still blushing. She smiles. “I'm sure you'll find the right guy for you one day.”

“Or girl,” Sayaka corrects. Wait, what? Why the hell did she say that? Shit. What the fuck, brain?

Hitomi’s eyes are the size of saucers. She presses her hands to face in a manner that would be comical if Sayaka wasn't busy internally freaking out. “But that's forbidden love! Girls can't love girls.”

Shitshitshitshitshitsh-

“Sure they can. Why wouldn’t they be able to?” Madoka says, suddenly appearing. She sets down her plate and sits down next to Sayaka. Sayaka stares at her friend in surprise and awe. Madoka gives her a warm smile.

“Sorry. It was a joke,” says Hitomi with a sheepish smile.

Sayaka's heart is still pounding way too quickly for Sayaka to respond, but luckily Madoka's isn't.

“It was a very poor joke,” says Madoka, her tone the perfect mix of gentle and firm.

“I'm sorry. I messed up. I won't do it again,” Hitomi says, sounding truly apologetic. She then promptly excuses herself to get a drink, leaving Madoka and Sayaka alone.

“Thanks for that. I was so taken aback I had no idea how to respond,” Sayaka admits.

“Not a problem,” says Madoka.

“Madoka -” Sayaka's about to ask what Madoka's personal thoughts towards girls are when Homura, Kyoko, Kyosuke, and Hitomi all return, ruining her chance. The conversation then turns to the movie and their favorite parts and their favorite foods. All good topics, she supposes, and Sayaka pushes her confusing and garbled (lack of a) love life to the back of her mind and enjoys her Sunday afternoon with her friends.


	19. stop blaming yourself

It's that time of year when school just seems to drag on and on and on. Summer break is so close yet so far. Sayaka tries to study hard because she wants to beat Kyoko, but studying hard is really… hard.

Softball keeps her sane. She can get out all her energy and frustration behind the bat or on the field or while running laps.

As always, butterflies flit around her stomach as their next game approaches. It's against a school called H.N. Elly, which is an hour away by school bus. The seniors start their usual session of bus karaoke. Sayaka sometimes sings along, but today’s Akira’s turn to choose the songs, and Akira always chooses k-pop. Sayaka doesn’t know any k-pop, so she just stares out the window at the passing buildings and tries to calm her nerves. Will she ever get used to this feeling? She hopes not. It's part of what makes each game exciting. She's feeling good.

/

Sayaka’s feeling less good when the bus gets delayed due to an accident on the freeway that causes a massive traffic jam. Coach Ishido’s on the phone with the coach from the other school, trying to explain the situation. The game’s probably not going to be cancelled or anything, but the situation makes Sayaka considerably more anxious nonetheless, even with Kyoko’s shared shrimp chips.

Eventually the bus gets through the traffic and begins moving again, but by the time they arrive, they’re thirty minutes late. Sayaka’s nervous. And tired. Sitting in a bus for ninety minutes shouldn’t be tiring, but it is.

Despite them being horribly late, the team from H.N. Elly is still kind enough to give them fifteen minutes to settle in and get in a little warm up before the game officially begins. Kyoko interprets this “kindness” as arrogance.

“They think they’re so good that they’ll win even if they give us a little time to warm up,” Kyoko says with a scoff as they do their stretches side by side.

Sayaka’s more inclined to give H.N. Elly the benefit of the doubt. “How would you know?” And then she remembers. “Oh wait, I forgot that you’re a secret softball fangirl! I bet you’ve watched all their games and stuff. _Are_ they that kind of team?”

“Listen. Don’t talk to me about middle school,” Kyoko grumbles, but Sayaka waits a little bit, and eventually Kyoko tells her what she wants to know. “They’re a good team, and they know it. They play for one thing and one thing only: to win.”

Well that definitely doesn’t help with her nerves. “That’s fine. I play to win too,” says Sayaka with an exaggerated bluster.

Kyoko rolls her eyes.

/

As the visiting team, their team gets to bat first. They’re experimenting with their lineup, so Sayaka’s first to bat this time. Her goal is simply to get on base. Nothing _too_ difficult. But because she’s first, how she bats is going to set the tone for the rest of the game…

The pitcher eyes her with a mixture of disinterest and contempt. She simultaneously looks like she doesn’t care about Sayaka and like she wants to rip Sayaka to shreds. If Sayaka wasn’t so nervous right now, she might be taking notes on how the pitcher manages that. (Is it in the eyes? The eyebrows, maybe.)

Everything happens so quickly. The pitcher releases the ball, Sayaka swings, the umpire calls strike.

Sayaka blinks. Okay, no big deal, she can try again. She adjusts her grip on the bat and widens up her stance just a little bit. She can hear her teammates cheering wildly for her. The pitcher glares at her again, and everything happens so quickly again. But this time, when Sayaka swings, her bat hits the ball.

She manages to make it onto first base, and that pretty much sets the tone for the rest of the game.

/

It’s not a bad game, by any means. They don’t have a single glorious moment, but they somehow hang on by making small gains.

It’s the seventh inning, and the score is 4-5, with Kazamino Senior High in the lead. Unfortunately, H.N. Elly is up to bat, and with no strikes and a runner on base, it’s perfectly possible for H.N. Elly to pull an upset. Sayaka’s tired, but she’s also pretty anxious, which helps her to focus on the game. It’s time for the game to end!

 _Please miss, please miss_ , Sayaka begs as she stares at the current batter - a short, left-handed girl with pigtails. Based on Sayaka’s observations over almost seven innings, pigtail girl isn’t much of a power hitter, but you don’t necessarily have to be a power hitter to make a good play. Sayaka figures that there’s a decent chance that she’ll make it on base. Which is not exactly good in Sayaka’s eyes, especially with a runner currently on first base.

As the second base, Sayaka prepares herself for the ball potentially heading her way. To her chagrin, pigtail girl bunts the ball, successfully hitting it infield. Sayaka leaps into action, trying to field the ball, the same time that Sai from first base tries to get it. Both of them miss.

“I’ll get it; stay on first!” Sayaka shouts, chasing after the ball. But by the time she gets it, it’s too late, and now H.N. Elly has two runners on base and still no outs. Sayaka returns to her spot at second base, glaring at the runner that’s now standing beside her.

The next hitter is a girl that Sayaka recognizes from her gray knee socks. All the other girls on the opposing team wear black socks, but maybe this girl forgot to do laundry this week or something. All Sayaka’s been able to figure out about gray socks girl is that she’s a wild card. She’s either very strong hit or very clear miss.

Thankfully, gray socks girl strikes out this time. Maybe she’s tired too. The sun is starting to set.

The hitter after gray socks girl hits a fly ball that Kyoko, playing center field, easily catches. Sayaka flashes her a thumbs up and shouts, “Good job!” This is nice. One more out for H.N. Elly, and they’ll have this win in the bag.

Her good feeling doesn’t last for very long, though, because stepping up to bat is the pitcher with the stink eye, who also happens to be the best offensive player on the team, as well as a great pitcher. People with multiple skills are annoying. Sayaka really would probably take more notes if she wasn’t so nervous.

“Come on, Aiko!” Sayaka cheers, trying to remain hopeful and helpful. As one of their relief pitchers, Aiko switched out with Michie after the fifth inning. Sayaka holds her breath as Aiko throws a fastball.

 _Smack_. Sayaka can barely follow the path of the ball as it flies through the air, heading far, far, far into the outfield. Homi, as the closest outfielder, makes a run for it, but she can’t reach the ball in time. The ball hits the ground, and Sayaka mentally groans. She shakes her knee impatiently as she anticipates the ball. One of the runners passes her by, and the other is already halfway between third base and home plate.

“Here, here!” she shouts, jumping up and down as Utako, their shortstop, receives the ball from Homi. She might be able to tag out the stink eye pitcher girl, who isn’t running as fast as the other girls (either she’s arrogant, or she just isn’t the best sprinter). Utako acts quickly. Stepping forward but keeping one foot on the base, Sayaka prepares to catch the ball hurtling straight towards her. Her heart’s racing, and her mind is rushing with rapid-fire thoughts. She better make Utako proud; Utako trusted her and threw the ball to her instead of Michie, she needs to catch this before the runner makes it to home base, she needs to catch this before the stink eye pitcher makes it to second base, she needs to catch this. Her glove clamps over the ball.

“Out!” shouts the umpire, and Sayaka grins and looks over at the scoreboard - did she really catch it in time?

No. She didn’t. The runner must have made it to home base a split second before she caught the ball. They’re tied now, 5-5. And now they’re going to head into overtime.

/

“Alright team,” says Aiko as they huddle together before switching sides. “It’s getting late, and we’re all tired, and the other team is a formidable opponent, but, well - and this is the important thing - the game’s not over yet! Let’s do our best - whether we win or lose! But we should try to win, of course.” Aiko rubs the back of her neck a bit awkwardly. She’s not the best at motivational speeches, but they all cheer anyway.

/

Two innings later, the score hasn’t budged at 5-5. As they huddle together again, Sayaka feels a sense of déjà vu. Nothing has changed, except the sky has gotten darker, and the field lights have switched on.

“Alright team,” says Aiko, clearing her throat before another rousing speech. “Let’s do our best and just get this game over with. Oh, and try to win. Yeah!”

They cheer about as enthusiastically as they did two innings ago and get in their batting order.

/

In the end, they lose the game with the score at 6-5. Sayaka would normally be more upset, but she’s honestly starting to feel a little too loopy to care. Maybe she should have saved her water instead of draining her water bottle forty five minutes ago, but it’s too late now.

“I still think we did a great job!” Aiko says. “We really fought to the very end, and that’s important. Alright, I’m sure you don’t want to be held up by my rambling, so I’m just going to wish you all the best in getting home safely. A bus will be taking us back to school, but you can choose to get home using different transportation if it’ll be quickly.”

Sayaka decides to take the subway home. It’ll probably be quicker. She takes out her phone to check her maps app and confirms that taking the subway and then transferring to a bus will indeed take less time. The subway station isn’t too far away either, so that’s good. She hates walking alone in the dark, though.

Sayaka suddenly feels a hand on her shoulder and turns to see Kyoko behind her. “Going to the subway?” Kyoko asks.

“Yeah,” Sayaka says. “If you happen to be going in the same direction, I _guess_ you could come with me.”

/

“I’m hungry,” Kyoko complains, just a few steps into their path to the subway.

Part of Sayaka wants to tell Kyoko not to complain, but the other part of her is really hungry too. She hasn’t eaten anything since lunch, which was almost eight hours ago! And  she’s thirsty too. Damn. “There should be a convenience store by the subway, right?” she says. She’s never been to the subway in this area of the city. She could take out her phone to check, but she’s too lazy to.

Kyoko nods. “There’s a Seven Eleven there.”

“Well then, let’s go!” Sayaka says, suddenly reenergized by the thought of food and water. She bursts into a run and waits half a second before shouting, “I bet I can make it there before you!”

“It’s way too late at night for this again!” Kyoko groans, but Sayaka doesn’t need to turn around to know that Kyoko’s chasing her.

/

The fluorescent lights from the Seven Eleven are bright and welcoming and almost heavenly. Sayaka skips in happily, not only because she now gets to buy food and water but also because she managed to beat Kyoko. Never mind the fact that she had a head start.

“Cheater,” Kyoko mutters.

“Don’t be a poor sport,” Sayaka says, clicking her tongue. She expects Kyoko to retort, but Kyoko’s been distracted by the food. Grinning to herself, Sayaka picks up a soft drink and some fried chicken.

They make their purchases and head outside, only to see their subway passing right by.

“Huh? We missed it!” Sayaka says.

Kyoko plops down on a bench. “Oh well. At least we can take our time before the next one.”

“I guess.” Sayaka sits down next to Kyoko and opens up her carton. Ah, there’s nothing like fried chicken after a long day. Apparently Kyoko must be thinking the same way because, quicker than one of Michie’s fastballs, Kyoko’s hand is in her carton and then in her mouth.

“Hey! What was that for?” Sayaka says, pulling her chicken to her other side - far from Kyoko.

“That was for cheating during our race. What, you want me to spit it out?” Kyoko asks with her mouth full.

Sayaka scowls. “Keep the chicken.”

They eat in silence, just waiting for the subway. It’s not a particularly busy station, especially at this time of the day and week. They’ve missed the Wednesday night rush hour. Sayaka thinks about the game. Mostly her mistakes. She shouldn’t have gone for that bunted ball; she should’ve let Sai handle it. She keeps swinging too quickly. She’s too impatient. Also, she should’ve brought more water.

“It’s frustrating how we keep losing,” Kyoko says, drawing Sayaka out of her thoughts.

“Yeah,” says Sayaka dejectedly. And then, because Kyoko’s watching, she straightens up and smiles. “Well, I just have to try harder, right?”

“Idiot,” Kyoko says, taking a bite of her rice ball.

“Huh? Ow!” Sayaka shouts, when Kyoko suddenly slaps her back.

“You’re an idiot,” Kyoko repeats. “Stop blaming yourself. We didn’t lose because of you, and we’re not going to win just because you try harder either. Stop acting like you carry the team because you’re really not that important.”

“Jeez, I know that. You didn’t have to hit me!” she says, rubbing her back. It really hurts.

Kyoko narrows her eyes. “Are you sure you know that? You blame yourself for everything.”

“I do not!” She totally does. She crosses her arms. “How would you even know that?”

“Because you’re an idiot, and that’s what idiots do,” Kyoko says simply.

“I am _not_ an idiot,” she says defensively, even as her cheeks turn red. Kyoko’s acting like her usual abrasive self, but Sayaka thinks she sees something tender and caring in her words, and well, it actually warms her heart. Or maybe the funny feeling in her chest is just the result of Kyoko’s slap. Her back _still_ stings.

A loud rumbling stops the conversation before it can progress any further. The subway’s arrived.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so funny story. i started camp nanowrimo hoping it would motivate me to write more of this fic but instead i churned out a 17.6k love live fic. whoops. but i'm back to writing this fic!


	20. this is all so confusing

“How do you change this again?” Madoka asks while frantically smashing keys on Sayaka’s controller.

Before Sayaka can explain, Homura leans over, places her hands over Madoka’s, and presses some of the keys for her. “Like this,” says Homura. Both girls are blushing madly. Sayaka’s not sure whether or not she should look away.

Kyoko jabs her in the side. “Stop staring at them and finish up your character already.”

“I will!” Sayaka turns back to the television screen and flicks through the custom character design options. They actually have an option for short blue hair. She wonders if her parents had a say in that.

Her parents finally finished up the XBox game they were working on and acquired a free copy of Magical Girl Rebellion for her. The perks of having parents who are video game developers, she supposes, although she could do without the part where her parents are constantly busy. Her parents had suggested that she play it with her friends, so Sayaka had invited Madoka, Homura, and Kyoko, and now here they are, hanging out in her living room on a Sunday. She’d invited Hitomi and Kyosuke too, but they’d declined, claiming they had to practice for their upcoming piano competition. Sayaka's not sure if this is a blessing or a curse.

“Are we all ready?” Sayaka asks, cracking her fingers. She's excited to win. She’s not really that much of a gamer, but she has an advantage in that she’s pretty accustomed to the type of games her parents work on: action games that depend heavily on good reflexes.

She scopes out the rest of her competition. Madoka’s played most of her parents’ games too (except for the shooter game from two years ago), but she’s never been very good at video games. Kyoko looks like she’s ready (for lack of a better term) to fuck shit up. Sayaka will have to watch out for her. And Homura - Homura’s pretty much a wild card.

“I’m ready, I think!” says Madoka.

“I’m ready,” says Homura coolly. On screen, her character flips her hair.

“Just start the game already,” Kyoko says, snacking on the cheese and crackers that Sayaka brought out earlier. (What kind of host she would’ve been without providing food?)

Sayaka presses play. “Alright, here we go!”

/

Ten minutes into Magical Girl Rebellion, Sayaka realizes that the game is a little different than the fare her parents usually work on. It’s based on the movie that Sayaka watched with her friends just a few weeks ago; apparently the movie is part of a much bigger franchise than Sayaka initially realized. Befitting of the movie, Magical Girl Rebellion is an action adventure game with less emphasis on the action and more emphasis on the adventure, so Sayaka’s good reflexes aren’t that helpful. Instead, she has to strategize and solve puzzles. This is fine in her books too. She’s good at strategy and puzzle solving!

She is, however, disappointed that multiplayer mode happens to be more about collaboration than competition. On the screen, a CG animated creature that kind of looks like a cat interacts with their characters. Sayaka waits for the cutscene to end and the regular pixelated game graphics to return.

Thirty minutes into Magical Girl Rebellion, the tone of the game changes. The collaborative aspect breaks down, and the girls are forced to turn on each other. Maybe they made the wrong decision a few minutes ago, or maybe this is just the way the game was designed. Either way, resources are limited, enemies are plentiful, and if they want to survive, it’s every girl for herself.

Sayaka frowns, and her character huddles behind a steel crate, hiding from Homura and Kyoko. She’s running low on healing potions. Thankfully, she chose a character that heals faster, but even so, she’s not sure how long she’ll last.

“Fuck this game!” Kyoko shouts as Homura comes after her with a barrage of guns.

“Kyoko, watch your lang - shit!” Sayaka aggressively slams her finger against the directional pad, barely rolling out of the way as the steel barrier she was hiding behind explodes, courtesy of one of Homura’s bombs.

Homura’s really not holding back. She takes on Sayaka and Kyoko at once, mercilessly bombarding them with what seems to be an unlimited supply of guns, not to mention that the girl moves lightning quick.

“Sayaka, I’ll go for Homura’s right side; you go for the left!” Kyoko yells.

“Alright, but don’t go too far!” Sayaka says, doing just as Kyoko suggested. God, why does she only have close range weapons? She needs something long range to get Homura. She can’t last much longer like this. Homura must have a weakness, right? Sayaka looks around and glimpses something pink hiding in the corner. Of course! Homura does have a weakness: Madoka.

“I’m sorry, Madoka!” Sayaka apologizes. She doesn’t like to use her friend like this, but she has to. This is war! Erm, video game war. She heads straight for Madoka, knowing that Homura won’t shoot her if it puts Madoka at risk. Sure enough, the shooting - in her direction, at least, stops. Kyoko’s not so lucky, but none of that matters because at that moment, Madoka  - real Madoka, not Madoka’s character on the screen - turns towards Sayaka with a strange look in her pink eyes.

“No, _I’m_ sorry, Sayaka,” says Madoka, and Sayaka doesn’t even have time to blink before she’s dead.

She’s not the only one: Homura’s dead, Kyoko’s dead, and every enemy in a five mile radius appears to have been wiped out.

“Shit!” yells Kyoko.

“How the fuck did you do that?” Sayaka asks. She normally doesn’t swear around Madoka, but she’s too bewildered to filter herself. She’s been played! And by Madoka, of all people! She stares at her best friend with wide eyes.

“I’m - I’m not entirely sure,” says Madoka, as she casually raids the supplies left behind by all her dead enemies.

“I guess you won? Congratulations,” says Sayaka, setting down her controller and leaning back into the couch. She’s too shocked to be mad. She can’t believe Madoka did that!

“Well, that’s that. Congrats!” Kyoko’s taking the loss pretty well, and she quickly returns her attention to her snacks.

“You haven’t won yet. You must keep your guard up for the other enemies and continue the quest,” says Homura pragmatically.

“Yup!” Madoka nods. “Don’t worry, Homura, I know what I’m doing! Mostly.”

Sayaka stares at the screen as Madoka solves puzzles and takes out her enemies with clear, precise shots. She’s still in shock. She definitely underestimated Madoka. She didn’t notice how many prime weapons and health potions her friend had acquired. She didn’t notice that Madoka’s frilly pink bow was actually a killing machine. Damn, she got played, whether Madoka was being intentional about that or not.

Well, now that she’s dead, there’s nothing to do but sit back and enjoy the show. Sayaka reaches for a handful of microwave popcorn. Her hand bumps into Kyoko’s, and a strange jolt runs down her arm. She blushes.

“Hey, don’t hog the popcorn!” Kyoko says, effectively ruining the moment. Not that they were having a moment or anything!

“ _I’m_ the one hogging the popcorn?” Sayaka says incredulously. “This is my first time reaching my hand into the bowl, while you’ve been eating for like the past hour!”

“Excuse me, I was _not_ eating for the entire hour. I only started eating after I died in the game. And I never tried to take handfuls of popcorn at a time, unlike you!”

“I’ll take as much popcorn as I want! It’s mine, after all.”

“Stop fighting,” Homura interrupts with a harsh glare. But Sayaka’s not afraid of glares, having seen very many of them in her lifetime, from various sources. She glares right back!

“It’s alright, Homura. It doesn’t bother me when Sayaka and Kyoko bicker. It’s kind of cute, isn’t it?” Madoka says with a light giggle.

“Cute?!” Sayaka and Kyoko shout at the same time.

“But don’t you need to focus on your game? You must win, Madoka!” says Homura with a sense of urgency that Sayaka thinks is rather disproportionate for the situation.

“Oh yeah, don’t worry, Homerun. I’m definitely rooting for Madoka,” says Kyoko, popping popcorn into her mouth. “Whoo! Go Madoka!”

Not to be outdone (Madoka is _her_ best friend after all), Sayaka moves to the top of the sofa, gets behind Madoka, and starts massaging Madoka’s shoulders. “Yeah, Madoka, you got this. Show those monsters what you’re made of! No pressure, though. It’s just a game.”

Madoka laughs awkwardly. “I’ll do my best…”

Sayaka freezes mid-massage when she feels something boring into her side. She turns around to meet Homura’s glare. The girl is practically shooting daggers at her. Her earlier glare was a warm fur coat compared to this. Sayaka glares back. Homura needs to work on her issues. She can massage her best friend’s shoulders if she wants!

Kyoko munches on more popcorn. Madoka plays on obliviously.

Homura finally breaks off her glare. “You’re not massaging correctly. I can tell you’re a terrible masseuse,” she says flatly.

“I think Sayaka’s a decent masseuse!” says Madoka brightly, not noticing how Homura deflates at these words.

“Oh, you want to demonstrate, Homerun?” Kyoko asks.

Homura turns bright red and doesn’t say anything.

/

They never get to find out whether or not Madoka wins because Homura has to go to a doctor’s appointment, and they all decide to return and play together (or watch Madoka play, really) at a different time. They save their spot in the game and say goodbye to Homura. Kyoko leaves as well.

Madoka stays behind and helps her clean up. She picks up the scattered plates and cups on the floor, while Sayaka puts away the controllers and turns off the TV.

“Thanks for helping out, Madoka. You know you didn’t have to,” says Sayaka.

“It’s not a problem. I like helping you.” Madoka smiles.

Sayaka suddenly realizes that this is her second chance. After all, everyone else has left. She promised herself that she wouldn’t interfere with anything, but surely she can ask a couple of questions. The only issue is how to segue into her wanted topic smoothly. She has to be subtle this time. She can be subtle!

“So, Homura seems to like you a lot,” Sayaka says, sitting down on the couch.

“Hm?” Madoka sounds surprised. “Well, yeah. I know you don’t really trust her, but she’s a good friend.”

“So you’re just friends?” Sayaka prods. “Both of you feel that way?”

Madoka blushes. “Well, at our age - well, maybe it doesn’t have anything to do with age - but I mean, it’s kind of hard to tell, right?”

Sayaka wasn’t expecting that. 70% of her was expecting a yes, 30% of her was expecting a no, but 0% of her was expecting a _I don’t know_.

Madoka sits down next to Sayaka on the couch. “Sayaka, if it isn’t too painful to talk about, how did you know you were in love with Kyosuke?”

“Well, uh,” Sayaka isn’t planning on saying much, but it all spills out. “Sometimes I felt butterflies and stuff around him. I know that’s cliche, but I did. I thought about him a lot, like how handsome he was or how well he played the violin, and I wanted him to like me a lot really, really badly. It made me jealous when I saw him talking with other girls. It made me happy to hang out with him, except when he was sad. If he was sad, I was sad, and I really, really wanted him to be happy.” She pauses and turns red, suddenly embarrassed. “Sorry, I said too much.”

“No, don’t apologize,” Madoka says, shaking her head. “But see, that’s why it’s confusing to me. Sometimes I feel butterflies because I’m nervous, like before a big test. I think about my friends a lot, and I think all my friends are very cute and talented! And I want all my friends and my family to be happy!”

“When you put it that way, I guess it is kind of confusing,” Sayaka says, leaning back into the couch. “Especially when it’s - when it’s two girls.” Her heart is pounding strangely, but she could just be nervous.

Madoka sighs in relief. “Thanks for understanding. I thought I was just being silly, being all confused by this stuff…” She trails off and tilts her head. “You know, you spoke about Kyosuke in past tense.”

“Huh? I did?” Sayaka hadn’t even noticed. She’d talked about him in present tense, hadn’t she? Or maybe she hadn’t. Thinking about Kyosuke still hurts from time to time, and Kyosuke is still important to her. But of course Kyosuke is always going to be important to her. He’s her friend, after all. He was her friend long before Sayaka developed a crush on him. But Sayaka would still rather that he was her boyfriend… Right? Ah, this is all so confusing!

“Hey Sayaka, since you asked me about Homura... what do you think about Kyoko?” Madoka asks, interrupting Sayaka’s thoughts.

“Huh? What do you mean? We’re friends!” Sayaka exclaims. “I mean, we’re hardly even friends! We’re like, uh, acquaintances? Softball teammates? Frenemies?”

“See, I thought that too, at first, but then I thought, you kind of bicker like an old married couple,” Madoka points out with a knowing little giggle.

Madoka leaves shortly after that, leaving Sayaka alone with her thoughts. Her and Kyoko? Like an old married couple? She doesn’t think about Kyoko like that. Really! She doesn’t!

Of course, she’s noticed that Kyoko’s attractive before. She has nice hair. And a good arm. For throwing softballs. And today, Kyoko was wearing an oversized t-shirt and her cutoff shorts. She’d noticed, but she hadn’t, like, thought about it. Sayaka tends not to avoid thinking about things that bother her too much. Not that Kyoko’s legs bother her! They’re just legs. Kyoko has them, she has them, everyone has them.

The last thing Madoka tells her before she left echoes in Sayaka’s mind. _It’s okay if you don’t know. Maybe we’ll figure it out one day_.

Sayaka sighs to herself and heads to her room. She needs to finish up her homework. She can’t slack off on school, or Kyoko will beat her scores again... Or, on second thought, maybe she should go outside and run a couple of laps. She’s feeling weirdly jumpy.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We interrupt this softball AU to bring you... gamer girls AU? lol I know. Not sure how I feel about this chapter, but I needed to get some of this stuff (mainly Sayaka and Madoka's conversation) out of the way.


	21. see what happens

"Today, we are celebrating our victory! To many more wins. Drinks are on me! The non alcoholic type, I mean," Aiko says cheerfully, raising a lemonade above their heads as they all gather around their team captain by the edge of the field.

Himeka rolls her eyes. "Aiko, what do you mean drinks are on you? The drinks are literally always free." She gestures at the nearby fridge.

"Actually, the drinks are paid for by member donations, so I guess drinks are on you..." Aiko says with an awkward smile. "But that doesn't sound as good."

"You're terrible at speeches," Himeka chides.

Sayaka ignores the seniors' bickering and waits in line to pick up a drink from the fridge. She's surprised when Aiko waves her hand and calls, "Oh, Sayaka!"

Sayaka walks over to Aiko a bit nervously, wondering if she's done something wrong. Maybe Aiko's going to criticize her for (literally) dropping the ball that one time... Or Aiko's going to tell her to stop fighting with Kyoko, even though their fights have simmered down to mostly consist of petty arguments. Sayaka racks her brains. There must be something she's forgetting. What is she in trouble for?

But Aiko merely pushes a cold water bottle into her hand. "Hey, I picked up a drink for you, to thank you for getting me lemonade all those times! I wasn't sure what you wanted, so I just went for water. That's usually a safe bet, you know?"

"Oh! Yeah, water is totally fine," Sayaka says, taking the bottle. So she isn't in trouble. She suppresses a sigh of relief and uncaps the bottle. "Thank you so much!"

"No problem!" says Aiko. "You did a good job at the game today."

"Me?" Sayaka says, genuinely surprised. "But I didn't score any of the hits, and I gave the other team a point when -"

"No, you were great!" Aiko interrupts. "You saved us by filling in for Homi on the outfield when she sprained her ankle! I know you're used to playing second base, so you really surprised me by how well you did - actually, it wasn't a surprise at all; I knew you'd be a great outfielder. And you have a good talent for getting on base. We couldn't have won this game without your good instincts and support. Softball is all about teamwork, you know."

"What? I was just - it was nothing. If anything, you're the one who saved us because you're the one who made the right call by moving me to the outfield, um..." Sayaka's not exactly great at taking compliments. She never knows what to say.

Aiko laughs. "Just accept the compliment and say thanks!"

Oh, right. She could say thanks. "Thanks," she says. Maybe Aiko's right. She _did_ do a great job at this game. She remembers what Kyoko told her last week - _Stop blaming yourself_. Maybe she's too hard on herself sometimes.

/

Sayaka finds Kyoko sitting on the bleachers and chatting with Homi Sako while guzzling a Dr. Pepper. Kyoko hasn't seen her. Perfect. Sayaka sneaks up on her and places her hand on her shoulder. "Yo!" she screams. "We have to catch the bus."

"Ow! You didn't need to hit me!" Kyoko says, turning around and giving Sayaka one of her signature glares. Sayaka's heart speeds up. Probably out of fear. No, not fear. Anger? It's probably anger.

"It was a slight tap!" Sayaka protests, deciding not to linger too much on her heartbeat. She has other things to worry about. "I had no idea you were so weak!"

"I am _not_ weak, and that was not a slight tap, and also -" Kyoko checks her phone "- we are not even close to missing the bus."

"Well, we're going to be late if you don't start moving!"

"Chill out! Just let me finish my Dr. Pepper."

The two of them stop glaring at each other and turn around when they hear Homi chuckle.

"What?" Sayaka asks, the same time that Kyoko says, "Don't laugh!"

"You two bicker like an old married couple," Homi says with a knowing smile on her face. Hmph! What does she know? And why that again? So soon after Madoka? Is this what everyone thinks? Sayaka might fight her if Homi wasn't injured!

"We do not!" Sayaka shouts, the same time that Kyoko says, "Ew, no! That's disgusting!"

Sayaka turns back to Kyoko. "What the hell do you mean by that? I am not disgusting!" she says defensively. She's not sure why she's being so defensive. She's not sure why this hurts her so much. Her heart is still racing.

Kyoko crosses her arms and stands by her statement. "What does it sound like I mean?"

Homi chuckles again. "Hey, you two, get a room. Besides, don't you have a bus to catch?"

Shit. "Goddammit Kyoko, this is all your fault!" Sayaka says as she breaks into a run.

"My fault? How is this my fault! This is your fault!"

/

They make it to the bus with time to spare. "I told you we had time," Kyoko drawls in that annoying little voice of hers.

"Whatever," Sayaka says.

Their games usually run longer than regular club practices, so the usual crowd of students, including Madoka and Homura, isn't at the bus stop. The two of them wait in stony silence for the bus to arrive when a familiar couple arrives before it.

Sayaka sees Hitomi first - the green hair is rather distinctive - and then she sees the entwined hands, and then she sees Kyosuke. Oh. She rubs the back of her head and waits for the pain to settle in. "Hey, you take this bus too?"

"Sometimes! It depends on how long Hitomi and I want to practice," Kyosuke answers.

"Oh yeah, how's that concert practice going? You're playing a duet, right?" Sayaka says. Cool and casual.

"We are. I really think it's going to be something special," says Kyosuke, and he looks over at Hitomi with a soft smile. The kind of smile he's never given and never will give to Sayaka. He's practically glowing.

Hitomi smiles back but gently removes her hand from Kyosuke's and looks over at Sayaka apologetically. She can tell Hitomi's just trying her best to be mindful of Sayaka’s feelings, but Sayaka hates pity. It makes her feel so pathetic.

"Well, I can't wait to see it! I am invited, right?" Sayaka says. She tries her best to send Hitomi the type of look that lets her know that she's alright. They can hold hands if they want. It makes her feel bad that Hitomi's holding herself back because of her. It's kind of hard to put all of that into a single look, though.

"Of course you're invited," says Hitomi, and Sayaka can still hear the pity in her tone. Guess she didn’t understand the look.

When the bus arrives, Hitomi and Kyosuke sit together, a few rows behind Sayaka and Kyoko. They're enough rows apart so that they can't have any awkward interactions, but they're not too many rows apart to the point where they seem unfriendly with each other. It's a delicate balance, but Hitomi has always been good at that kind of thing. She's the perfect young lady, after all.

"You alright?" asks Kyoko, who has been silent up to this point. For once, she isn’t even eating, although Sayaka suspects this is only because she’s out of food.

Sayaka stares down at her lap. "Mostly, yeah," she says, surprised by her own honesty. She didn't realize it until she'd said it, but she's really not lying. It's still awkward to see Hitomi and Kyosuke together, but it's not excruciatingly painful the way it used to be. She’s not fond of Hitomi’s pity or Kyosuke’s sheer obliviousness, so she’d rather avoid them if she could, but well she's... kind of getting better.

"Are you sure?" Kyoko asks, and the intense look in her eyes is doing funny things to Sayaka’s stomach. It’s a different type of intensity than Sayaka’s used to. Less aggressive. Warm. Almost burning.

“Careful there, Kyoko,” Sayaka says, blushing. She tries to deflect. “If I didn’t know better, I’d think you actually cared about me.”

Kyoko doesn’t take her eyes off of her. “So what if I do?” she asks, her voice low and soft.

Sayaka just stares at her, wide-eyed and captivated. She should turn away. She wants to lean closer.

The bus suddenly comes to a screeching halt, and Sayaka remembers where they are and _who_ they are, and she jerks away and says, “Haha, nice try!” She laughs, perhaps a bit too raucously.

Kyoko doesn’t say anything in response, and they sit in silence. They’ve sat in silence before, of course, but this is the first time that the silence feels awkward. _Really_ awkward. Like there’s something in the air they need to deal with. Or maybe Sayaka’s just imagining things. She’s probably just imagining things.

“So, uh, why’d you decide to move to Mitakihara?” Sayaka blurts out, asking the first thing that pops into her head.

Kyoko swings her legs, almost kicking the seat in front of her. “None of your business,” she says brusquely, and Sayaka wonders if she’s ruined everything. Huh. She hadn’t even realized that she and Kyoko had something to ruin until this moment. Oh my God. She and Kyoko had something to ruin. Meaning she cares about Kyoko. Like a lot. Only she’s realized too late because she’s already ruined everything.

But then Kyoko sighs and says, “A lot of reasons. My mom got a new job, the apartment here was cheaper, we wanted to leave our old house.”

“What was wrong with your old house?” Sayaka asks, relieved that Kyoko’s talking to her, and things seem to have returned to normal.

“My dad fucking died, okay?” Kyoko snaps.

“Oh.” That explains her earlier brusqueness. It had nothing to do with Sayaka at all. _Duh, not everything is about you, idiot_ , a voice in her head that sounds suspiciously like Kyoko says. “I’m -” She almost says _I’m sorry_ , but she stops midway when she realizes that Kyoko probably doesn’t want her pity. But she isn’t sure what to say instead, so she never finishes her sentence.

“You’re so weird,” Kyoko mutters. She pops in her earbuds, a sure sign that she no longer wants to talk, and leans back into the seat. Sayaka takes the cue from her and does the same. She scrolls through her music album and hesitates. J-Pop or classical music? She can’t choose, so she just puts her music library on shuffle. Whatever plays is going to play. She’s just going to see what happens.


	22. a day off

_Summer break can’t come fast enough_ , Sayaka thinks for the tenth time that day. Summer itself is definitely already here, based on the weather, which has been nothing but sun and heat for the past few days. Sayaka misses the dreary rain of midterms season. She fans herself with a sheet of paper during class, hoping their English teacher doesn’t notice.

“Why is it so hot in here?” she asks Kyoko during a break between classes, aggressively fanning herself with a notebook now that the teachers are gone.

“Now look who’s not paying attention,” Kyoko says with a smirk. “Weren’t you listening to the homeroom teacher this morning? The air conditioner is broken.”

“What?” Well, that explains a lot. What was she doing this morning while the homeroom teacher was talking? Probably just staring into space. She usually pays attention, but she does have a tendency to zone out, especially if it’s early in the morning… Sayaka sweeps her sweaty bangs out of her face. “When is it going to be fixed?”

Kyoko shrugs. “I don’t know.”

This is going to suck.

/

The weather is no better outside. If anything, it’s worse. The heat is suffocating, like she’s stuck in a blanket that’s a little too tight and definitely too warm. It’s the type of heat you could choke on. The sunlight is another problem. So bright. So glaring. It hurts her eyes.

As she heads to the locker rooms, she tries to shield her face by placing her backpack on her head. “It’s so hot,” she complains.

“You’ve said that like a hundred times already,” Kyoko says, heading to the field beside her.

“Don’t act like you haven’t been complaining too,” Sayaka snaps. The heat is making her more short-tempered than usual. And there’s still an entire softball practice to get through. She turns to Kyoko and then immediately turns away, her cheeks turning red - and not just because of the heat. “What are you doing?”

“What does it look like I’m doing?” Kyoko says, casually loosening her tie and undoing the top two buttons on her blouse.

“You can’t do that! What if a teacher catches you or something?” Sayaka hisses.

“Calm down, it’s two buttons!” Kyoko says defensively.

Right. It _is_ just two buttons. It shouldn’t affect her. It isn’t affecting her! It just… surprised her. Sayaka’s blush dies down, and she turns back around to see Kyoko tying up her hair, and her heart flutters strangely. The heat must be getting to her.

/

On Saturday, Coach Ishido calls off practice due to the intense heat. They’ve all been working very hard, playing back to back games that week, and it’s good to have the occasional break. And so, she’s giving them a day off.

Sayaka realizes that she’s at a loss for what to do. Madoka’s still at her art club meeting. She could just go home, she supposes, and have a relaxing Saturday afternoon. She could start on her homework early, do some reading, try to find some non-trashy doujins on the Internet (oh who is she kidding; they’re all trashy). Or maybe…

Sayaka pokes Kyoko’s shoulder. “Want to go to Mumi’s Cafe? It’s the weekend, so we should be able to visit Mami!” She makes an effort to visit Mami whenever she can, often with Madoka, but she hasn’t seen her in at least two weeks.

“Pass,” Kyoko says bluntly.

“You’re turning down food?” Sayaka says, surprised and maybe a little bit hurt. Does Kyoko not want to spend time with her?

“Is it _free_ food?” Kyoko asks.

Sayaka hesitates. “Well… no…”

“Exactly, pass,” Kyoko repeats. “It’s expensive, and we always go there. I don’t see the point.”

“Fine, I’ll go visit Mami by myself,” says Sayaka with a sniff. She waits a bit for she leaves, wondering how Kyoko will respond.

“Honestly, I don’t see what so great about Mami!” Kyoko bursts, and Sayaka smirks in victory. “Just because she’s blonde and has big tits -”

“It’s not about her tits!” Sayaka shouts, her smirk slipping off her rapidly reddening face.

“Don’t tell me you haven’t noticed them.” Kyoko gestures around her chest area, causing Sayaka to look at Kyoko’s own boobs, which makes her blush further spiral out of control.

“I - you - I don’t - That’s not the point!” Sayaka splutters. “I like her because she’s very hardworking and kind and responsible, and she’s inspiring, and she’s talented -”

Kyoko rolls her eyes. “Yeah, yeah, she’s perfect. Whatever.”

Sayaka looks at Kyoko and tilts her head, slowly realizing something. She’s not the best at reading people, and she’s had her share of instances when she was totally off about how someone else felt, but this is a feeling that she’s pretty familiar with. “Kyoko, are you jealous?”

“Why the hell would I be jealous?” Kyoko asks, inadvertently answering Sayaka’s question.

Sayaka almost starts giggling. It’s not really that funny - just unexpected. “It’s not a big deal if you are,” she says very calmly. “Who wouldn’t be? Of Mami’s maturity, and talent, and yes, her beauty -”

“Fuck you, Sayaka,” Kyoko mutters. “Now you’re just messing with me.”

She is, and she’s having too much fun to regret it. “Do you want to go to Mumi’s Cafe or not?” She hesitates a bit before adding, “I’ll pay for your food.”

“Now we’re talking,” Kyoko says, and her little smile makes Sayaka wonder who really won in this situation. Or maybe it isn’t a competition. Maybe it’s just the two of them being friends. Huh, that’s still weird to her.

/

No, on second thought, Sayaka’s definitely the big loser in this situation. She watches helplessly as Kyoko happily takes her time getting through her a stack of waffles, a large slice of cake, a grilled turkey sandwich with fries, and a bag of cream puffs. At least Mumi’s Cafe has good air conditioning.

“You’re an asshole,” Sayaka grumbles. Her poor wallet. It’s her fault, though. Why did she even offer? She has no idea why. She was just going with the flow. Seeing what happened. Well, this is what happened.

“I’m going to finish _all_ this food _all_ by myself,” Kyoko says with her mouth full. She looks up at Sayaka stonily, but the fact that her cheeks are stuffed to chipmunk levels kind of ruins the effect of the glare.

Sayaka suddenly laughs. She's trying to be mad, but she finds that she actually doesn't have it in her. "How long have you been planning this? Is this your late revenge for the first time we hung out?" She remembers that disastrous occasion. Everything went so horribly wrong. She hadn't even had money for the bus. Madoka had to bail her out. It's not the kind of thing she wants to remember, but it makes her feel nostalgic in this moment. Not because she wants to go back to that time, but because she realizes how far she and Kyoko have really come.

"I haven't been planning this at all. It just happened," says Kyoko with a shrug. She swallows and then immediately shoves a forkful of chocolate cake into her mouth.

Sayaka props up her elbow on the table and leans on her hand. "Sure, it just happened," she says, faking her disbelief. Because she can definitely believe that. Things with her and Kyoko just happened. Somehow they're here in this cafe again, but so many things have changed. Including the fact that she wasn't stupid enough to empty her entire wallet this time, so she didn't buy anything for herself.

"Listen, I'm not going to kick a golden opportunity away. That's just stupid," Kyoko says. She stops her assault on the chocolate cake for a moment to lick her lips. There's chocolate all over her mouth, but Kyoko's tongue gets most of it off. Sayaka's breath hitches. She stares at Kyoko's lips.

"So selfish!" Sayaka says to distract herself. She rips her eyes off of Kyoko's lips and looks down at the food instead. Her stomach rumbles quietly. God, she's hungry.

"You knew I was a selfish asshole when you offered, didn't you? This is all your fault," Kyoko points out.

"Weren't you the one who told me not to blame myself for everything?" Sayaka retorts. "It's not my fault that you're a selfish asshole."

Kyoko actually laughs at that. Her mouth is free of food, so it's an unrestrained and genuine sound. It makes Sayaka's heart skip a beat.

"Maybe I taught you too well," Kyoko says. And then to her surprise, she pushes her cake towards Sayaka. "Don't think I don't see you eyefucking my food. I'll let you have a little bit. Just a little, though."

"Excuse me, who paid for this food to begin with?" Sayaka says, covering up the fact that she's touched, and it might make her blush. " _I_ can only have a little?"

"Just a little!" Kyoko repeats. "It is my food, after all."

"Your food? But I paid for it!"

"Everything going well?" Mami asks as she passes them by. She offers the two of them a warm and professional smile. Sayaka briefly wonders how Mami's golden ringlets are always so perfectly curled.

"Yeah, it's going well," Kyoko says in a surprisingly nice tone.

"That's good to hear. Let me know if you need anything!" Mami says, before hurrying over to the next table. She's quite busy today.

/

The two of them finish all the food. Sayaka means to sneak some leftovers for Madoka, but between the two of them, including Kyoko's seemingly bottomless pit of a stomach, all the food disappears before she knows it. They leave the cafe with swollen stomachs and go to bus together. They still have a bit of time before Homura and Madoka get out of art club.

"Let's go somewhere else," says Kyoko.

"Where?" Sayaka asks.

Kyoko shrugs. "Somewhere cooler. I heard that one of the stores on this street is haunted.”

“You think a haunted store is going to be cooler?” She’s barely been outside of Mumi’s Cafe for a minute, and she already sweating. She forgot how hot it was outside. Screw the sun.

“Vengeful ghosts are stone cold, Sayaka,” says Kyoko, dead serious.

“You better not be lying,” Sayaka says threateningly, even as she starts to follow Kyoko.

They head down the street, and Kyoko stops in front of a closed store with dark tinted windows and a chain fence in front of the door.

This is it? Has she been tricked? “This place isn’t haunted!” she complains. “I’ve passed by this like a dozen times. It’s just a store that went bankrupt.”

“Shh,” says Kyoko. “Stand in front of the store and look in the window. I promise you’ll get some shivers.”

She really shouldn’t listen to Kyoko, but she _is_ kind of curious. So she steps closer to the glass, peers inside, and immediately comes face to face with an enormous guard dog with red eyes and huge teeth and a wide open mouth, the same time that something taps her shoulder.

Sayaka shrieks and jumps away from the window, her heart beating frantically in her chest, and only calms down when she hears Kyoko laughing. That’s when she realizes that she’s been played. She takes a few deep breaths to steady her heart rate and catch for breath and then yells, “What the hell was that for?”

“Your face!” Kyoko manages to say before bursting into laughter again. She clutches her stomach and doubles over, wheezing.

Sayaka tries to keep a straight face, but she fails and can’t help but to laugh along. Maybe it’s just her still frazzled nerves going a little haywire, but she starts giggling before her giggle swells into a full blown laugh. She laughs until her sides hurt, and it gets hard to breathe, and then still she laughs.

“I hate you,” Sayaka says, once their laughter has somewhat settled down. “What’s the deal with that dog?”

“It’s not a real dog,” Kyoko says, and Sayaka gathers enough courage to look at the window again and realizes that Kyoko’s right - the dog is a statue. An enormous, extremely realistic statue with very sharp teeth, but a statue nonetheless.

“Why would someone do that?” Sayaka wonders out loud. The details on the statue are impressive, and it must be an expensive work of art. She has no idea why anyone would abandon it in a closed store.

“I told you, the store is _haunted_ ,” Kyoko says, standing beside Sayaka and leaning towards the window with her. “Huh, I don’t remember this dog having a cross on its collar.”

Sayaka pulls away from the window and turns to stare at Kyoko. “You’re kidding. Stop messing with me!”

“No, I’m not kidding,” Kyoko says. She leans away from the window, and the look that she gives Sayaka is so solemn and serious that it sends shivers down her spine.

“Let’s get away from this store,” Sayaka says nervously. “And can we get to somewhere that’s _actually_ cool?”

/

They make their way to the bus stop and decide to wait for Homura, Madoka, and of course, the bus itself. The bus stop is not cool either, but at least there’s a little bit of shade. They sit down on the bench, side by side, and fan themselves with their school notebooks.

“You know, my dad was a Christian pastor,” Kyoko says out of the blue. She must be thinking about the dog with the cross collar.

“Then shouldn’t you not believe in ghosts and stuff?” Sayaka asks thoughtlessly, before remembering that Kyoko’s dad is dead, and goddammit, why is she so fucking insensitive?

But Kyoko doesn’t seem to mind. “He was a different sort of pastor than the usual. A really kind man, but he deviated from the typical church doctrine, and people stopped coming to his church…” She trails off. “I don’t know why I’m telling you this.”

“You can tell me anything,” Sayaka says, again without thinking, but she really, earnestly means it.

“Hmph,” Kyoko says, but she continues. “There’s not much to tell. My family went broke, my dad started drinking, and then last August, he got into a car while drunk and died. But the scariest part is that my mom and sister almost went into the car with him. If my mom hadn’t refused to get in that car -” Kyoko breaks off. “I really don’t know why I’m telling you this.”

“Because you need to tell someone,” Sayaka says softly. “No one should go through something like that alone.” She doesn’t say anything else, but she reaches for Kyoko’s hand. Kyoko doesn’t pull away. Sayaka looks down at their entwined hands, and then up at Kyoko’s face, only to find that Kyoko’s looking at her too. Sayaka always thought Kyoko’s eyes are red, but up close, they’re more of a soft brown. Her heart starts to race, the way it did when she encountered that dog, but this isn’t fear. It’s something else - and it does scare her a little bit, but she’s also excited, and nervous, and she’s not sure if she wants to stay or if she wants to flee -

“Sayaka!” Madoka’s energetic greeting interrupts their - their whatever they were having. Sayaka yanks her hand out of Kyoko’s and waves. They weren’t having a moment. Nope. Not at all.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next chapter comes next week!


	23. at home plate

In contrast to a few weeks ago in which time seemed to be dragging on and on, time is now moving too quickly. Softball games, finals, and the end of the term are coming up too quickly, and Sayaka’s busy studying and running and overall just preparing for her victory. Because she _is_ going to emerge out of this all victorious. Their softball team is going to win their next game and qualify for the summer tournament. And Sayaka’s going to study her ass of and do better at Kyoko.

Speaking of Kyoko… Kyoko never seems to be far from her thoughts as of late. Her abrasiveness, her hidden tenderness, her fucking eyes. Are they brown or red? Sometimes she catches herself staring. It’s strange, but she’s trying her best to not let it bother her. Just see what happens and all that. She has a whole lot of other things to focus on right now.

/

The weather has settled down, and it’s pretty much perfect. Sunny and bright, but not too hot, with a few puffy clouds in the sky and a cool breeze. The team has been training harder than ever. Everyone's in high spirits and ready to try their best.

"I can't wait for the tournament!" Homi says happily as they lunge across the field, warming up with dynamic stretches before the bulk of their practice.

"Me too!" Sayaka exclaims. "Your ankle's all better too, so you'll be on the outfield again! If everything goes well, we'll all be able to participate in the national tournament!" Just thinking about the tournament gives her butterflies.

"I wasn't talking about our tournament, silly," says Homi, shaking her head. "I was talking about the summer koshien! The boy's baseball tournament."

Sai, who's lunging a little ahead of them, suddenly looks behind with a gleam in her eye. "Did I hear summer koshien? Ah, I'm so excited! What team are you rooting for?"

"The Hidaka baseball team, of course! Who else?" Homi says. Hidaka Senior High School is a nearby all boys school that's best known for its baseball and soccer teams. Sayaka doesn't follow them that closely, but it's near impossible to be a softball fan in Kazamino and not have heard of Hidaka Senior High School.

"Me too! I have to stay loyal to our region and all," Sai says. She turns to Michie at her right. "Michie, isn't your brother on that team? Aren't you excited?"

"Eh, whatever. Summer koshien, big deal," Michie says, sounding incredibly bored. She checks her nails. "Doesn't it bother you that we work as just as hard as those boys, and nobody in Japan gives a shit? The boy's baseball tournament is televised and hyped, and it's the biggest and best known amateur sport event in the country! Meanwhile we're lucky if the seats are filled at our games."

"Well, I mean, we play softball, and girls' sports are always less popular than boys' sports." Sai shrugs. "It sucks, and I totally get that, but I'm not going to stop enjoying summer koshien because of it. It's a big thing in my family, and it even inspired me to play softball back when I was a little kid."

"Not to mention the boys are cute, but I suppose you wouldn't care about that, Michie!" Homi says. She looks over at Sayaka and winks. "Sayaka, what do you think about that?"

"Me?" Why is Homi suddenly asking her this? She scratches her head and laughs nervously. "Well, I don't really know who's on the baseball team, but they're probably cute? I mean, boys who play softball are pretty attractive - if they're good at it, I mean."

"Can we stop talking about my brother like this?" Michie interrupts, making a face.

"We weren't talking about your brother! Just the team in general!" Homi says.

"Yeah, the team my brother is in," Michie says, rolling her eyes, and that's pretty much the end of that conversation. Michie is sweet and kind most of the time, but she can also be a little intimidating. Nobody wants to mess with her.

/

The final game of their spring season is a game against a team called Elsa Maria, and they’ll be the visiting school. The seniors’ choice for bus karaoke happens to be popular anime openings, and Sayaka hums along. Her phone pings; Madoka’s sent her a text. It says, _Try your best! I’m rooting for you!_ She’s also sent her an ink drawing of a blue-haired girl with a softball bat and a determined look on her face. Sayaka realizes with a jolt that it’s her! Madoka’s drawn her.

 _Thanks!_ Sayaka texts back. _And your art looks so good!_

 _Thank you! I have a long way to go, but I think it does look better than before. I’ve improved a lot!_ Madoka texts back, along with a blushing kaomoji.

Sayaka smiles at the text. She’s improved a lot too, and she’s ready to show Elsa Maria what she’s learned. But first… She pokes Kyoko’s shoulder.

“What is it?” Kyoko says, a bit irritably. “You have to stop poking my shoulder.”

“Want to make a bet?” she asks, ignoring the shoulder comment. She figures they’ll both perform better if they’re competing with each other. Not to mention it’ll be fun.

“What’s the bet?” Kyoko asks.

“Whoever’s the better player at this game owes the other a drink from Mumi’s Cafe and a small favor of their choice,” Sayaka says.

“How are we going to quantify who the better player is? Sounds a bit subjective, don’t you think?” Kyoko points out.

Oops. She hadn’t really thought about that. “Okay, just for the sake of the bet, we’ll say it’s whoever has the higher batting average during the game. I know it’s a flawed assessment, but I don’t want to turn this into a math problem.”

Kyoko clicks her tongue. “No, Sayaka, you started this, so let’s really make this fun. Let’s make this a math problem. I say we calculate the total average and add in our fielding percentage too. Oh, but if our team loses the game, we both lose the bet. How’s that?”

What has she gotten herself into? Well, she can’t back out now. Besides, Kyoko’s criteria sounds pretty good. Sayaka nods, and the two of them shake on it.

/

They step off the bus exactly on time, and the seniors lead them to the softball field. Elsa Maria appears to be a more modern school than Kazamino, with sleek black and white buildings, and Sayaka mentally reviews what Kyoko told her about their opponents on the bus. She shouldn't underestimate their shorter players. She should stay alert on the outfield because a lot of the batters hit into the right field. She should keep her guard up near the end of the game because Elsa Maria has a tendency to pull ahead in the last minutes, mainly due to their scary good relief pitchers.

Sayaka doesn't like being the visiting team. It means they have to bat first, which makes her feels like she doesn't know what direction the game is going in until it's too late. But there's nothing to do but keep her head up and cheer as loudly as she can as Akira steps up to bat. They've changed the lineup again, so Sayaka's near the middle, just like she originally was.

"Hit it out of the park!" Sayaka shrieks.

"Bit early for that, don't you think?" Kyoko says. She's right behind her in the lineup. She cups her hands around her mouth and yells, "Yo, Akira, just get on base!"

"Do your best!" Sayaka shouts.

/

The game starts off slowly. By the fifth inning, no one has scored a run. In the sixth inning, Aiko manages to hit a single that gets Akira onto home base, scoring them a single point, but Elsa Maria manages to score a run too, tying them up once more.

"Is that the scary good relief pitcher?" Sayaka asks Kyoko when Elsa Maria switches their pitcher in the middle of the seventh inning. Elsa Maria's new pitcher has icy blue eyes, tightly coiled hair, and a permanent frown.

"One of them," Kyoko responds. "Watch out for her. She's left-handed."

Utako, who's just switched out for Michie in the lineup, is currently up to bat. She's a left-handed pinch hitter with a discerning eye and a skill for getting on base. But she strikes out, getting them their third out.

The seventh inning ends with Elsa Maria one point ahead. The eighth inning ends with the score unchanged. The ninth inning begins with Sayaka up to bat. Elsa Maria's changed their pitcher for the fourth time. Their closer is a tall girl with wild, tangled black hair that reminds Sayaka of snakes. She tries to control her nerves as she wraps her hands around the bat. Not a single out, one point down, last inning. She could change the course of this game if she plays this right. Her heart is pounding, and her hands are sweating in their gloves, but she focuses on the cheers of her teammates behind her - "Go Sayaka!" "You can do this!" "Hit a good one!" "Don't disappoint me bitch!" Well, Kyoko's chant hasn't changed since the beginning, and it fills her with motivation. She needs to win their bet!

The closer doesn't waste any time and hurls Sayaka a curveball, which she completely misses. No big deal, two more chances. The next curveball goes outside the strike zone, and Sayaka doesn't swing. Another pitch and a second ball for Sayaka, and then, the pitcher throws a classic fastball that's hurtling towards Sayaka at 120 kilometers per hour, so fast that if she blinks she might miss it, so her eyes widen, and her grip tightens, and her blood sings, and she swings the bat.

A clear smack, a quick follow through, and then Sayaka's off, sprinting across the field. She keeps her feet light and swift, and she runs as fast as she can, runs like nothing else matters, runs like she's running away from a monster, but no, she's not running away from anything anymore, she's running to something - that something being first base. She keeps an eye on the outfielders and an ear on the cheers of her teammates, and she rounds past first base, takes a chance, and keeps going.

"Run, Sayaka, run!" her team screams, overpowering the screaming in her legs and lungs. "Second base, second base!" Sayaka pushes herself harder to maintain her speed and sprints to second base, and then she stops - just in time. She's safe. She's made it. Now it's up to the batters behind her to score another run. She needs to put their trust in them - in Kyoko.

Kyoko's already on the plate, her bat in hand, her stance ready. She turns and briefly makes eye contact with Sayaka and smiles, her fangs visible even from Sayaka's position at second base.

"Don't disappoint me bitch!" Sayaka yells.

Kyoko doesn't disappoint her. Sayaka barely has time to catch her breath before Kyoko hits the ball on the very first pitch, and Sayaka flies off second base. Third base, third base, third base, she chants to herself, but she underestimated Kyoko because by the time she reaches third base, the ball's still far enough away for her to try for home. She might make it. She might not. Sayaka doesn't think, just acts, and she doesn't stop for a second and channels all her momentum into getting home. She _will_ make this, she _will_ , and she grits her teeth and slides over home plate.

Sliding is never graceful and always painful, but the dust settles down, and the first thing Sayaka sees is Kyoko grinning at her from second base. She sighs in relief. She's safe at home plate.

/

“I won the bet,” Sayaka sings childishly, atop Kyoko’s back.

“Don’t make me drop you,” Kyoko grumbles, adjusting her grip under Sayaka’s knees. “I can’t believe this is the favor you wanted.”

“But Kyoko, I’m _hurt_ ,” Sayaka says. She’d messed up somehow during her slide and sprained her ankle. It’s actually pretty miraculous that, with all the shit she’s gotten into this season, this is the first time that she’s actually gotten injured. But even her luck couldn’t last forever, she supposes.

It’s pretty late, and the July sun hangs low in the sky. It’s almost sunset. She’s tired, and her ankle still hurts, but at least their team won the game, and she won the bet, so it’s overall a great day. She closes her eyes and rests her head on Kyoko’s shoulder. Her hair is really soft. Softer than it has any right to be. She yawns. Kyoko is so warm and soft, and despite her threats, Sayaka doesn’t think she’ll really drop her. She feels safe. Maybe she can take a brief nap.

“Sayaka?” Kyoko asks. Her voice sounds so close. Because they _are_ close. Really close, Sayaka realizes, but she finds that she doesn’t really mind and only stirs slightly.  

“What?” she mumbles.

“Can you lay off the sweets? You’re fucking heavy!” Kyoko shouts.

Sayaka jolts awake. “ _Kyoko_ ,” she whines, “I am a perfectly healthy weight! Why don’t you just stop being weak?”

“I am not weak!” Kyoko says.

“Prove it!” Sayaka retorts.

“Oh, you asked for it, Sayaka Miki!” Kyoko suddenly takes off, running across the sidewalk at full speed. Sayaka shrieks and hangs onto Kyoko for dear life before she starts laughing.

“We won the game!” she shouts into the wind. “Summer, here we come!”


	24. a few more things to settle

Just a few more things to settle now, including one major hurdle for Sayaka to overcome: finals. It’s just as well, since her ankle’s going to need time to recover. After her bitter defeat a few months ago, she must redeem herself by beating Kyoko. However, Kyoko is viciously defending her title. It’s going to be a tough battle.

Sayaka scribbles in her math workbook and reaches for her eraser only to grab air. She frowns. She knows exactly who’s behind this!

“Stop stealing my eraser!” Sayaka hisses at Kyoko.

“I was just borrowing it,” Kyoko says flippantly, tossing the eraser back to its usual spot.

“Don’t fight. You’ll get kicked out of the library again,” says Homura, her voice quiet but threatening.

“Whatever,” Sayaka grumbles, but she stays quiet for the rest of the study session.

/

The next day, Madoka invites them to study at her house instead of at the library. Sayaka has a feeling this might be for her and Kyoko’s sake, but Madoka insists it’s just because her dad wants to make them a snack and get to know them and all that. Well, Sayaka’s not going to turn her down.

They eat homemade pastries and argue over the best analysis of Japanese classics and share Madoka’s cute pen collection. It’s grown since Sayaka’s last seen it, and Madoka admits that Homura keeps buying her new pens. Sayaka clicks a pen covered in sparkly pink hearts and wonders how it’s so possible for one person to be so oblivious, but she doesn’t say anything and focuses on her studies.

“Would you like something to drink?” Madoka’s dad asks, popping into the room. He’s carrying a tray with pitcher of lemonade and four small cups.

“Thank you, Papa!” Madoka says. She takes the tray, sets it down on the table, and pours a little bit into each cup.

“Me too!” Madoka’s younger brother, Tatsuya, shouts. He toddles into the room and waves his sippy cup around. Sayaka loves little kids, and Tatsuya is absolutely adorable, with bright cheeks and innocent round eyes just like his sister.

“Of course! Come here, Tatsuya,” says Madoka, gesturing at her brother. Tatsuya grins and heads towards the table. Kyoko grabs her cup of lemonade and subtly slides away. It’s not subtle enough, though, because Sayaka notices.

“You afraid of kids or something, Kyoko?” Sayaka asks.

Kyoko shrugs. “I just don’t want him to get in the way. I’m trying to study!”

“But Tatsuya’s so cute! Jeez, you’re heartless,” Sayaka says.

“Sayaka, it’s fine! Not everyone likes kids. It’s really not a problem!” Madoka says. She fills Tatsuya’s sippy cup while Homura bounces Tatsuya in her lap. Sayaka can’t believe that _Homura’s_ playing with Tatsuya. She didn’t take Homura to be that kind of person at all.

“It’s not like I don’t like kids. I’m just neutral towards them,” Kyoko says, not looking up from her book. “And I’m serious about studying. Are you?”

“Of course I am!” Sayaka says, in the middle of offering a cookie to Tatsuya. Whatever. She can take a break to give Madoka’s younger brother a cookie and redeem herself on her final exams.

“Okay Tatsuya, let’s leave your big sister and her friends alone, okay?” Madoka’s dad says, picking Tatsuya up. “Best of luck on all your exams, girls!”

Psh. She doesn’t need luck. Sayaka returns to her chemistry notes and frowns. Well, a little luck never hurt anybody.

/

Her ankle is healed, her pens are ready, and Sayaka’s exhausted. Taking exams is exhausting, even if the exam isn’t particularly difficult. The Japanese exam, in fact, was the easiest exam she’s taken in a while. The questions were straightforward, and the prompts happened to perfectly match the topics she’d studied the most - a very rare occurrence. But writing essays is so tiring. She stretches out her hand. Alright. Only two more exams to go!

“Man, that test was _so_ easy,” she brags. She receives a very satisfying death stare from Kyoko. Guess Kyoko didn’t think it was so easy. She smiles smugly. She totally has this in the bag!

/

“I can’t believe I lost again,” Sayaka says with a loud sigh as she coughs up the money for a drink. She slams down her bills on the counter with maybe a bit too much aggression, judging by the way the cashier startles, but goddammit, she’s pissed off! She studied so hard! And Kyoko still sleeps in class a quarter of the time! How is it that this happened _again_? She has to resist childishly stomping her feet on the way to their booth. Kyoko grabs her drink, a chocolate shake with whipped cream, and follows her.

“Suck it up, Sayaka,” Kyoko tells her. She obnoxiously sucks her drink for emphasis.

“I _am_ going to get you next time,” Sayaka says, punching a fist into the air. “Just you wait, Kyoko Sakura!”

Kyoko laughs. “You’re so dramatic.”

Sayaka brings down her fist. “Well, I just feel things very strongly. We can’t all be uncaring assholes like you, Kyoko.”

Kyoko stirs her drink thoughtfully. “You know I’m not really like that.”

“Yeah,” Sayaka says, her voice softening. “I know.”

They sit in silence for awhile - it’s that awkward silence again, and Sayaka catches herself staring at Kyoko’s lips around her straw and her harsh cheekbones and the way the sunlight makes her hair turn gold. She quickly coughs and changes the subject. “Ready for summer? We’ll be seeing a lot of each other. We have softball and everything.” Is she speaking too quickly?

“Guess I can’t get rid of you,” Kyoko says.

“What do you mean? More like _I_ can’t get rid of you,” Sayaka retorts, but she smiles. She’s excited - about summer, about softball, and maybe even about spending more time with Kyoko.

/

But the end of the term isn’t _quite_ here. Sayaka still has one last major event to face. She looks at her reflection in the mirror and adjusts her gold barrette. She’s not sure if she looks good in this dress. Is the blue too overwhelming, especially with her hair and eyes? She wishes she could ask someone to reassure her, but her parents are busy as usual. Maybe she could send Madoka a picture.

She takes out her phone. She looks at her reflection through the camera and then puts her phone away. She looks fine, anyway. Blue complements her. She smiles at her reflection and leaves the house.

/

“Sayaka, you look great!” Madoka says the second they spot each other, waving and running towards her.

“Thanks! You too!” Sayaka says brightly. Madoka’s wearing a white and pink dress with bows on the sleeves, and she looks cute as usual. She looks past Madoka and isn’t surprised to see Homura not far away, wearing a black blouse and a deep violet plaid skirt with black tights. They acknowledge each other with brief hellos, and the three of them head towards the auditorium.  

“Aren’t you going to wait for me?” a familiar voice asks, and Sayaka turns around to see Kyoko Sakura behind her, a stick of Pocky in her mouth.

“Kyoko!” Sayaka says, surprised. She wasn’t expecting to see Kyoko at Hitomi and Kyosuke’s concert, although in retrospect, it’s pretty plausible that Hitomi or Kyosuke would invite her.

Kyoko looks at the three of them and shoves her hands in her pockets. “No one told me there was a fucking dress code.” She’s wearing her usual crop top, hoodie, and cut-off shorts combo.

“It’s an unofficial dress code, not an actual rule,” Sayaka says, trying not to ogle Kyoko’s legs. “Food actually isn’t allowed inside, though.”

“What?” Kyoko asks, clearly offended.

“I’ll help you smuggle in your food,” says Homura. She checks her watch. “The concert starts in ten minutes.”

“Already? No! We need to get the best seats!” Sayaka says, bursting into a run. She needs to close enough to support her friends, after all!

/

It’s been so long that she’s been to a live classical music concert, and she forgot how much she loved it. The last live performance she went to was one of Kyosuke’s music competitions, the last one he attended as a junior high schooler. But a concert is different than a competition. The range of pieces played is less repetitive and more diverse. The atmosphere is different - looser, more supportive. She loves it. She loves the moment the performers step on stage in their beautiful concert outfits. She loves the hush in the air before each performance. And of course, she loves the music itself, full of emotion, swelling all around her.

Since it is a concert and not a competition, not all of the performers play classical music. Many of them play pop tunes, and one person even plays a jazz song. Hitomi and Kyosuke are going to play a classical song, though: Beethoven's spring sonata. Sayaka wouldn’t have expected anything else.

The girl on the stage finishes her song with a flourish of the violin, and Sayaka claps enthusiastically. She has no idea how the girl managed to adapt an EDM song so naturally to a violin. Suzu High School is truly a famous music school for a reason. She’s seen a lot of amazing performances in the past hour, but the best is still to come.

“Kyosuke and Hitomi are next,” she whispers to Madoka excitedly.

“I know,” Madoka whispers back. She sounds just as excited. Even Kyoko, who’s looked rather bored for most of the concert, straightens her back and looks towards the stage when the emcee announces the next performers.

Hitomi steps onto the stage first. She’s wearing a beautiful green dress that flows to the ground, and she looks so elegant as she walks across the stage. And then Sayaka sees Kyosuke, looking so handsome in a crisply tailored suit, carrying his violin. The audience - Sayaka included - bursts into applause as Hitomi and Kyosuke bow.

Hitomi sits on the piano bench, and Kyosuke readies his violin, and for a moment, the audience is absolutely silent. And then the music starts, and Sayaka releases a breath that she hadn’t realized she was holding.

As she watches Hitomi and Kyosuke on the stage, looking so goddamn beautiful together, sounding so goddamn beautiful together, she anticipates the pain that’ll settle in - the depression, the jealousy, the self-loathing. But it doesn’t. She only feels proud. After all, that’s two of her best friends right there! She closes her eyes and lets the bright and airy music of the sonata wash over her, and she smiles.


	25. somehow they're perfect

“You were amazing!” Sayaka gushes to Hitomi and Kyosuke after the concert ends. “Ah, I should’ve brought flowers, but I totally forgot. I can give you this, though!” She throws her arms around Hitomi and gives her a brief hug, pulls away, and only hesitates for half a second before giving Kyosuke a hug as well. It’s a good hug - warm and friendly and only a little bit awkward, and Sayaka pulls away with a smile on her face.

“Thank you. I was so nervous!” Hitomi says, tucking a strand of hair behind her ear, despite the fact that her hair, tied up into a knot with a few loose curls artfully framing her face, is still perfectly in place.

“I couldn’t tell at all! You must have practiced really hard,” says Madoka. Sayaka nods enthusiastically in agreement.

“We did. It wasn’t always easy. Neither of us are used to playing with a partner, and to be honest, we fought a lot. We almost gave up at a couple of times,” Kyosuke admits.

“We had a lot of bumps in the road,” Hitomi adds. “It’s hard, I think, to maintain both a strong personal and professional relationship.”

“Really?” Sayaka asks, surprised. “But you looked so natural together on stage!” She would have never imagined that Kyosuke and Hitomi, of all people, struggled. She’s always thought of them above things like that. They’re perfect people who make a perfect couple. Or so she’d thought.

“It took us a lot to get to that point, but everything worked out in the end. I’m grateful that Hitomi was able to put up with me,” Kyosuke says. He looks over at Hitomi in a manner that can only be described as absolutely adoring.

Hitomi blushes and looks at Kyosuke with the same adoring manner. “Don’t say things like that, Kyosuke. If anything, I’m grateful that _you_ put up with _me_.”

Or maybe Sayaka was right all along. Kyosuke and Hitomi aren’t perfect, but somehow they’re perfect for each other.

/

Sayaka spends the first day of summer break sleeping in, trying to find good doujins (alas, it’s impossible), catching up on last season’s anime, and playing video games. Yup, a productive summer awaits!

She also thinks a lot about Kyoko, which is nothing new, but it’s harder to ignore now that she doesn’t have anything pressing to focus on. She plays video games and thinks, _Kyoko played video games with me once_. She eats a bag of potato chips and thinks, _Kyoko likes potato chips_. She tries to take a nap and thinks, _Kyoko sleeps_.

This is getting ridiculous. She’s being ridiculous. And yet she can’t help but wonder: Is Kyoko thinking about her too? She hopes she is.

/

Sayaka desperately wants to sleep in on the second day of summer break too, but softball practice says otherwise. With the time they took off due to finals, they haven’t had practice in two weeks, meaning they can’t afford any more breaks. Since they no longer have school in the way, practice has been rescheduled to start at eight in the morning. Coach Ishido claims that it’ll be cooler and better for everyone. She’s clearly a morning person. Personally, with the amount of sleep Sayaka got last night, she would much rather be in bed.

Still, she eats some toast and gets on the bus and heads to school. She can’t let Kyoko one up her, after all!

To her surprise, Kyoko is not at practice when she arrives. Actually, that’s not very surprising; Kyoko does have a tendency to be late. But when fifteen minutes pass, and Kyoko still hasn’t arrived, Sayaka starts to worry. Maybe she just slept in. Maybe she’s going to stumble onto the field any moment, and Sayaka’s going to tease her _so_ badly for being all late and irresponsible. But that would be rather unlike her; despite Sayaka’s initial impressions, Kyoko manages her responsibilities quite well. Maybe she’s genuinely in trouble.

“You alright, Sayaka?” Homi asks, interrupting her increasingly panicked musings.

“Huh?” Sayaka looks at Homi, who’s pointing at a softball that’s landed a couple feet ahead of her. This is an easy drill, and she should’ve easily gotten that. “Sorry,” she says, embarrassed. “I was distracted.”

“No shit. Missing your usual partner?” Homi asks with a knowing smile that Sayaka’s unfortunately familiar with. Hmph. What does Homi know? Sayaka purses her lips, picks up the ball, and throws it back.

“You _do_ miss Kyoko,” Homi prods when Sayaka doesn’t say anything.

“So what if I do? What’s the big deal?” Sayaka snaps. She suddenly flicks her wrist the wrong way, and the ball goes completely astray.

“Nothing,” Homi says, chasing after the ball. “It isn’t a big deal at all.”

Sayaka almost argues with her, just on reflex, but Homi’s actually right. It isn’t a big deal if she misses Kyoko. She should just accept that.

/

Thirty minutes into the practice, Sayaka can’t stand it any longer. She tells Homi to work without her for a few moments and runs off to find Coach Ishido.

“Have you heard anything from Kyoko?” Sayaka asks when she finds Coach Ishido, who thankfully isn’t in the middle of anything, by the batting cage.

“Funny, I was planning on asking you the same thing,” Coach Ishido says with a frown. “You two seem close. Do you know if everything’s alright?”

Okay, she’s _really_ worried now. “I don’t,” she admits. She bites her lip. But it’s probably not a big deal, right? Kyoko knows how to take care of herself. And yet, her heartbeat is anxious and erratic. She clenches her fist. “I’ll find out by tomorrow!”

/

As soon as softball practice ends, Sayaka decides to call Kyoko. She’s scrolling through her contacts when it suddenly hits her that she doesn’t even have Kyoko’s number. She’s never had a reason to call or text Kyoko, after all. They saw each other six out of seven days a week because of school. Exchanging contacts had never come up. Stupid; she’d been so stupid.

Sayaka decides to text Madoka. _Would you happen to have Kyoko’s number???_

Madoka responds instantly. _I don’t, but I think Homura does! I’ll get back to you_. She only has to wait another few seconds before Madoka texts back with Kyoko’s number. Homura works fast.

Sayaka stares at the number for a few seconds, wondering what exactly she should text. She doesn’t want to bother Kyoko if it turns out to be nothing. She doesn’t want to come off as too clingy and invested. But Sayaka shakes herself out of that mindset. She can’t linger like this for too long. She should just clench her teeth and go for it.

 _Hey Kyoko. It’s Sayaka. Why weren’t you at practice today?_ There. Done. Send. And now for the waiting.

/

Six hours have passed, and Kyoko still hasn’t responded. This is concerning. Shouldn’t Kyoko have checked her phone by now? Sayaka herself checks her phone, like, at least once an hour. It’s the twenty-first century, after all. Not even her parents take this long to text back. Lying on her bed with her phone above her head, she takes a break from scrolling through celebrity Twitter feeds and debates whether or not to double text  - after all, it’s only been six hours - before clenching her teeth and going for something bigger.

She presses the phone against her ear and plays with a pink teddy bear that Madoka gave her when they were much younger. She squishes the bear for comfort and waits and listens to the hum of the dial tone - once, twice, three times.

And then a rather annoyed voice answers on the other end of the line. “Hello? Who is this?”

Sayaka sits straight up and lets out a sigh of relief that she didn’t know she was holding in. “Kyoko! It’s me, Sayaka. I got your number from Homura. Didn’t you get my text? I was just, you know, wondering why weren’t you at softball practice today?” She thankfully stops herself there before she rambles further.

“Oh, that. I was just busy -”

“Then why didn’t you let Coach know or something?” Sayaka interrupts. Kyoko still sounds annoyed, and now her tone is actually starting to annoy Sayaka too. Is she that much of an inconvenience? “We thought you were just ditching!”

“I wasn’t ditching! Look, I’ve just had a crazy morning okay? Calling was the last thing on my mind!” Kyoko says defensively, raising her voice.

“What could have possibly be that important?” Sayaka snaps.

“Why do you want to know so badly?” Kyoko retorts.

“Because I worry about you!” Sayaka blurts out. She thanks the heavens that Kyoko can’t see her blush. “You’re - you’re so infuriating sometimes!” she adds with a grumble.

“There’s nothing to worry about,” Kyoko says dismissively, but her voice is softer now. “Do you really want to know?”

“Yes!” Sayaka says immediately. She looks down her lap and plays with a loose thread on her pajama shorts. “I mean, only if you’re comfortable with telling me. But Kyoko, if you have a problem, I just - I want to know. I probably wouldn’t be too much of a help, but I would try my best... being there for you.”

Kyoko’s silent for a while, and Sayaka wonders if she’s overstepped her boundaries. Her face is so red that she thinks it could compete with a fire truck.

“It’s not a big deal,” Kyoko finally says. “This morning, Momo, my younger sister, started throwing up. I think she contracted some kind of stomach flu, or maybe she ate something bad last night. It was pretty nasty. My mom’s at work, so between cleaning up and comforting my sister and trying to figure out what to do, I forgot about softball until it was too late. I’m perfectly fine though, and my sister’s doing a lot better too, so there’s nothing to worry about.”

“Oh. That’s good to hear - not about your sister throwing up, I mean, that’s awful, but that you’re both alright.” She’s still worried anyway, about Momo’s stomach and Kyoko’s current state. They must both be exhausted. She wishes she could do something more to help. But at least now, she knows what’s going on. Maybe she could bring Kyoko some food tomorrow to help her out. Peach yogurt and bananas. She read somewhere that bananas are good for sensitive stomachs.

“Yeah, we’re alright. My mom comes home in a few hours, and we’ll check up on Momo together,” Kyoko says.

“That’s good. I hope Momo feels better,” Sayaka says. She feels so generic, but she can’t think of anything else to say. Comforting has never been her forte, but she tries. “Do you think you can come to practice tomorrow?” she asks.

“Maybe. Probably. I’ll try,” Kyoko says. “Can’t let you one up me or something.”

“Okay, but don’t force yourself to come if you can’t,” Sayaka says sternly. “I’ll back you up if Coach Ishido thinks you’re ditching!”

Kyoko huffs, and Sayaka can picture the other girl rolling her eyes. “Did you two seriously think I was ditching?”

“Of course not. We know you’re not that type of person. I mean, that’s what I _think_ , anyway. We were just worried,” Sayaka explains.

“You didn’t have to do that. But thanks, I guess,” Kyoko says. She’s trying her best to sound unaffected, but Sayaka knows better. She smiles to herself.

“You’re welcome,” she says. “See you tomorrow.”


	26. mitakihara adventure

****Calling Kyoko was a mistake. Because now, Kyoko knows her number, and she won’t stop sending her weird texts. Sometimes questions about softball, but usually pictures of aesthetic trash cans or cats tripping over their feet, with a sarcastic text following _\- This reminded me of you <3 _

Sayaka can’t blame Kyoko entirely - because she can’t stop replying, and the next thing she knows, an hour has passed, and she’s trying to convince Kyoko over text that “Life is like a box of chocolates” is a brilliant saying.

 _That’s bullshit, not brilliant_ , Kyoko texts back.

Sayaka grumbles out loud, and she’s busy trying to compose her argument in her head when her phone pings again. Has Kyoko changed her mind? But the text isn’t from Kyoko - it’s actually from Madoka, asking her if she wants to go to the amusement park this weekend, if she isn’t too busy with softball. _We haven’t hung out since school ended, and it’ll be fun! ^-^_

Sayaka doesn’t hesitate before telling Madoka that of course she wants to go to the park. She doesn’t hesitate before inviting Kyoko either.

/

It’s a busy day at Mitakihara Adventure Park, the only amusement park in the city. Summer is the park’s busiest season, but Sayaka doesn’t mind because summer is the park’s most exciting season as well. Summertime is when the park pulls out its biggest shows and operates water rides and sells tastier food and features more carnival games.

They get to the park bright and early, and Sayaka runs towards the main gate, pulling ahead of her friends, despite the fact that the gates aren’t even open yet. She peeks in between the bars. She can see her favorite ride, a sleek rollercoaster called the Blue Comet. It’s not the biggest one that the park has to offer - Sayaka would consider it midsize, but it has so many fun twists and turns. This is going to be awesome! It’s a shame that Hitomi and Kyosuke couldn’t make it, but apparently they’d already scheduled their own date at some concert. She hopes they’ll all have fun, and that they’ll all be able to spend time together later in the summer.

Sayaka turns around to see if any of her friends have caught up. Homura’s right behind her. Madoka got distracted by the blue dolphin statues at the left side of the gate, as she always does, and Kyoko’s somehow been roped into taking a picture of her. That’ll be, like, Madoka’s dozenth picture. Madoka catches her eye and waves her over, but Sayaka shakes her head. She would go and take a picture with her, but they need to be the first in the lines, goddammit! Pictures can be taken anytime. But you only get _one chance_ to stake a claim at the front of a line.

“You can do it,” Homura says quietly.

“Do what?” Sayaka asks.

“Take pictures with Madoka,” Homura says. “I’ll wait here.”

Sayaka turns towards Homura and looks at her appraisingly. “What if the gates open while I’m gone?”

“I’m fast. I can handle it,” Homura says with a flip of her hair. “You’ll have to hurry. I’ll only be able to hold your spot for so long.”

Sayaka needs to make her decision fast. Can she trust Homura? She’ll have to. She nods briefly and runs off.

/

Sayaka flips through the pictures that they took on Madoka’s cell phone while she waits in line for the Blue Comet. They were having such good luck at first! Well, not really luck - just Homura. They were first in line to buy tickets, and they were even first in line to ride the Silver Bullet, the midsize rollercoaster at the front of the park. But alas, lines are an unavoidable part of the theme park experience.

“This one’s cute!” Madoka says, pointing at a picture of her and Kyoko. They’re standing beside the pink dolphin together. Sayaka looks alright, she supposes. She’s wearing a black and white striped shirt and a pair of short overalls. Both of her eyes are open, and her smile doesn’t look too strained. Kyoko looks… alright too. Her smile is radiant and a little bit mischievous, or maybe that’s just because of the gleam in her eyes. If Sayaka looks closely, she can see Kyoko’s little fangs too, barely peeking out. Her red hair’s a little messy, and Sayaka remembers wanting to run her hands through it. Her cropped tank top shows off her arms and her belly button, and she looks really good in jeans. And she... Kyoko made bunny ears behind her head!

“Kyoko!” Sayaka exclaims accusingly, waving the phone around.

“What?” Kyoko asks innocently, and when Sayaka glares at her, she only smiles and throws up a peace sign, and Sayaka’s suddenly breathless. She almost forgets that she’s supposed to be angry. Almost.

“I’m going to get back at you for that!” she says threateningly.

Kyoko smirks. “Bring it on.”

“Not now,” Sayaka says with a smirk of her own. “You won’t be able to see it coming.”

/

They play rock paper scissors to determine who will choose their next attraction. Neither Kyoko nor Homura have ever been to Mitakihara Adventure Park before, but they’re full of ideas on what they want to do. With four people, it takes a few trials to determine the winner of their rock paper scissors tournament, but in the end, Kyoko wins.

“Take that, bitches!” she says triumphantly. “Except you, Madoka. You’re not a bitch.”

Kyoko chooses the drop tower, which happens to be Sayaka’s least favorite ride in the entire park. As they stand in line, Sayaka looks up at the high, high, _high_ tower. The ride is climbing up to the top so slowly. Agonizingly slowly. Sayaka should look away, but she can’t; she’s transfixed. And then it happens. It reaches the top, and it pauses for an excruciating second, and the next thing she knows, terrified screams fill the air as the ride falls without warning.

“Scared?” Kyoko asks, standing behind her.

“Not at all!” Sayaka insists, even though her knees might be knocking together.

“Sayaka, I’ll sit out with you if you want -” Madoka starts to say.

“I am not scared!” Sayaka shouts. She crosses her arms. “In fact, this is my favorite ride!”

Instant regret. She should _not_ have said those words.

“Oh really? You want to ride it again and again, then?” Kyoko asks.

“No!” Sayaka yelps, her self-preserving instinct speaking up for her. “I mean, there’s so many rides in this park, so we shouldn’t waste time riding anything twice, and I’d much rather ride a rollercoaster!” It’s true. Rollercoasters are fun and exciting. They move so fast that Sayaka can barely register anything beyond the thrill. Drop towers are different.

Kyoko grins. “You _are_ scared. Poor little baby. Here.” She holds out her hand.

Sayaka looks down at Kyoko’s outstretched hand and then up at her face. Kyoko’s not looking at her. She’s pretending to be intently focused on the tower, but her blush gives it away. Sayaka slowly takes Kyoko’s hand, and she’s blushing and avoiding eye contact too, even though it’s not a big deal.

“Madoka, are you afraid of this ride?” Homura, who’s been fairly silent up until this point, suddenly asks.

“Not really,” Madoka says with a little laugh. It’s a bit embarrassing, but Madoka’s actually better at handling heights than Sayaka is.

“Are you sure?” Homura presses.

“Yes, I’m fine!” Madoka says.

Silence for a while, and then Homura says, completely deadpan, “I am terrified of this ride.”

“Huh?” Madoka looks at Homura in a confused manner. Homura looks at Madoka intensely. Kyoko looks as if she’s barely holding in her laughter. Sayaka watches the entire situation unfold with a mixture of amusement and severe secondhand embarrassment. Homura continues to stare at Madoka with her dark and serious expression.

“Oh!” Madoka exclaims, finally understanding. “Homura, if you wanted to hold my hand, you could’ve just asked…” She holds out her hand, and as Homura takes it, the slightest of smiles appears on her face.

Kyoko can’t stand it any longer, and a single snicker escapes her, which she tries to disguise as a cough. “S-sorry,” she chokes out. “I think I just breathed in wrong.”

/

Homura wins the next game of rock paper scissors, and she insists that they ride the drop tower again. Damn her! Does her method of wooing Madoka _need_ to involve drops from terrifying heights and the possibility of Sayaka dying??

“But Homura, aren’t you afraid of that ride?” Madoka asks.

“I’m doing this for Sayaka’s sake,” Homura says - again, completely deadpan.

Sayaka can only shriek and splutter. She would expect this type of behavior from Kyoko, but from Homura? She’s been betrayed! Kyoko doesn’t hold in her laughter this time.

/

Going up the tower is definitely the worst part. She’s not sure if it’s scarier opening her eyes or closing them. If she keeps her eyes open, she’ll have a better idea of what to expect. But she’ll also have to see how high they’re going and watch the park get smaller and smaller.  In the end, she shuts her eyes tight and squeezes Kyoko’s hand even tighter. She probably cut off all of Kyoko’s circulation. Not romantic at all. Falling isn’t as bad, but she still screams bloody murder.

“Okay, whoever wins, can we please not ride that again?” Kyoko asks, shaking off the hand that Sayaka was clinging onto and cleaning her ear with the other.  

Madoka solemnly promises. Homura only shrugs. Sayaka’s proud of how steady her hand is as they play another round of rock paper scissors. Thankfully, Madoka wins this time, and she chooses the teacups ride.

/

After a few more rides and lunch, Sayaka wins rock paper scissors, and they head towards the carnival games. She knows that most of the games are rigged, but she just can’t leave an amusement park without trying to win a game or two. Strings of clean white lanterns hang overhead as they walk through the booths, trying to find the game with the shortest line. Sayaka stops in front of a goldfish scooping booth and feels a tap on her shoulder. She turns around to see Kyoko. Sayaka knows what she’s going to say even before she opens her mouth.

“Wanna bet?”

She’s never said yes faster in her life.

Scooping goldfish isn’t supposed to be a competition, but anything can be a competition if you try hard enough. Homura and Madoka stand by with their phones as stopwatches as Kyoko and Sayaka get ready. Madoka counts down - “3, 2, 1!”

And they’re off! Sayaka concentrates as she moves her net towards her orange prey, but the fish flits away before she can scoop. She takes a deep breath and picks a different fish. The chase resumes - slowly, slowly, and then quickly! But again, the fish gets away. Beads of sweat appear on her forehead. She needs to _focus_.

“Got one!” Kyoko yells, the same time that Sayaka manages to effectively scoop a fish.

“Me first!” Sayaka insists.

“Kyoko won,” Homura says authoritatively. She and Madoka show their phones as evidence. Kyoko was half a second faster than her. Hmph! Well, it’s only the first game. Who knows how the rest of the day will go?

They have the option to keep the goldfish, but they both choose to return it. They’ll be at the park for a few more hours, and the fish can’t survive that long in their cheap plastic bags. Sayaka’s still traumatized from the time when she was five and found a dead goldfish in her bag when she went home. RIP Goldie.

Sayaka and Kyoko continue on with their mini-tournament. They attempt to knock over a stack of bottles with a softball, but neither of them succeed. Sayaka manages to toss a basketball through the hoop, which Kyoko claims is sheer luck and Sayaka claims is 100% skill. (It was sheer luck.) They play a water gun shooting game, which Homura ends up winning. Predictably, she gives her prize of a small orange teddy bear to Madoka. Sayaka and Kyoko are neck and neck when Kyoko manages to pull ahead at the last minute with a victory in the ring toss.

“You cheated! That game is rigged! There’s no way you managed to win fairly!” Sayaka accuses petulantly.

Kyoko crosses her arms and sticks her nose up. “It was 100% skill, Sayaka. Just accept my superiority,” she says pompously.  

Sayaka grumbles, but she does manage to sneak a pair of bunny ears on Kyoko in the picture that they take afterwards - one with all four of them. So they’ll all remember, Madoka says.

/

They stay at the amusement park until the sun goes down, and then some. Sayaka buys Kyoko dinner since she lost their bet. Madoka tries to come up with a name for her new stuffed animal. Homura’s hair is somehow still perfectly in place. How is even that possible, given the amount of rollercoasters they’ve been on today?

After riding the Blue Comet for the last time that day, it’s 9:30 PM, the park closes in half an hour, and they’re all exhausted. They start walking to the bus stop together, but Kyoko suddenly stops dead in her tracks and points at Sayaka.

"You still owe me a favor," she says. That was part of the conditions of their bet.

"Seriously, Kyoko? Right now?" Sayaka complains.

"My feet hurt. Give me a piggyback ride to the bus stop," Kyoko demands.

Unfortunately, backing out of a bet is not an option. That would be dirty and dishonorable! Sayaka just needs to grit her teeth and pull through. So she crouches down and hoists Kyoko onto her back. Sayaka was expecting Kyoko to be heavy, but... she _is_ heavy.

"Couldn't you have come up with something more original?" Sayaka complains.

"You want original?" Oh no. Kyoko's tone promises nothing good. "Fine. Bridal carry me."

Sayaka should've just kept her mouth shut, but it's too late now. She's dug her own grave. She lets go of Kyoko unceremoniously, and Kyoko barely has time to remove her arms from Sayaka's neck before Sayaka turns around and scoops her up faster than she scooped up her goldfish. One hand under her knees, another supporting her back, and here they are, face to face.

Kyoko wraps her arms around Sayaka's neck again. "Now that's more like it," she croons, and Sayaka nearly drops her. She'd prepared herself for how much Kyoko would weigh but not how... close they'd be. Not how she could feel Kyoko's breath against her lips when she spoke.

"Are you jealous, Homura?" Kyoko asks, turning her head, and Sayaka suddenly remembers that there's other people around them. For a moment, she'd forgotten about everything except her and Kyoko. She turns to see what Kyoko's looking at. Madoka has her usual serene smile. Homura stares at them contemplatively, her expression mostly unreadable.

"Let's just head to the bus," Homura says smoothly. She begins walking ahead, and Madoka follows.

Sayaka takes a moment to adjust her grip before trying to walk. She takes a few steps and manages to keep a reasonable pace. This is harder than she thought it'd be. Kyoko's heavy. And close. Her face is red, and she's out of breath - from exertion, of course. Bridal carries are just romantic in the movies; in real life, it requires a lot more straining and sweating and struggling. So why the _fuck_ does she look at Kyoko, curled up in her arms, looking back at her so tenderly, and suddenly get the urge to kiss her?

"Hey! What was that for?" Kyoko shouts from on the ground. Shit. Sayaka must have dropped her in the middle of her epiphany. The epiphany that she wants to kiss her. Shit. Oh my God.

Kyoko stands up and dusts herself off. "What was that for?" she shouts again.

That brings Sayaka back to her senses. Well, not entirely, but enough so that she says, "Whoops, sorry, I'm so clumsy!" She laughs awkwardly and folds her arms behind her head, trying to play it cool.

Thankfully, Kyoko doesn’t seem to think that anything’s up. “Whatever. We’re almost there, so I’ll just walk the rest of the way. You’re lucky that I’m so kind and gracious.”

“Kind? Gracious? You?” Sayaka says incredulously as they walk to the bus stop together. Now this is familiar. Them, bickering, as they walk to a bus stop. Nothing has changed. And yet, everything has changed.

Shit.


	27. i'm really stupid

Sayaka likes to think while she runs, and fortunately for her, she gets lots of time to run thanks to softball. Usually, she doesn’t think of anything profound. She wonders what lunch will be tomorrow and wishes she had some water right now. Sometimes she just focuses on the sun and sky and track. Today she thinks about Kyoko. More specifically, wanting to kiss Kyoko.

Liking and caring about about Kyoko is one thing. Looking forward to spending time with her is one thing. Wanting to be there for her and to learn everything about her is one thing. Wanting to kiss her… that’s different. That’s a problem. A problem that she doesn’t want to acknowledge. That’s _terrifying_. She doesn’t know how to deal with it. Maybe if she just acts like nothing’s bothering her, nothing will bother her at all? She just has to… act natural.

/

Kyoko’s talking about something or another while they practice their drills, but Sayaka’s not really paying attention. She’s too busy trying to act natural. Does she usually get distracted by Kyoko’s hair in the sunlight? Does she always subtly check Kyoko out? What the hell is acting natural?

Kyoko stops talking and looks at her expectantly. Oh! Maybe it’s her turn to speak. Damn it, what was Kyoko talking about? What does she normally say in these situations?

“I - um - I disagree!” Sayaka shouts. Yeah, that’s what she normally says.

The second that Kyoko subtly tilts her head, Sayaka realizes that she’s fucked up and turns bright red. Shit. That wasn’t what she was supposed to say.

“I just asked you what Madoka ended up naming the bear Homura won her,” Kyoko says, speaking slowly as if Sayaka’s too much of an idiot to understand otherwise.

“Oh - um -” This could not be any more embarrassing. She could not be any more obvious. Or maybe she shouldn’t jinx it like that. Things could always get worse. “I don’t know what she ended up naming the bear. I think it’s still unnamed by now?” God, she just wants to disappear.

“Are you okay, Sayaka?” Kyoko asks. She sounds genuinely concerned and not just mocking.

“I-I’m fine!” Sayaka says. Her voice cracks. So much for acting natural.

Kyoko frowns, but thankfully, she doesn’t push it any further.

/

Practice goes by without any other slip-ups. Sayaka’s slightly more distracted than usual, but as far as her teammates know, she could just be having an off day. She’s not underperforming to the point where it’s a cause for concern, as long as she gets her act together and fixes this. She can’t behave like this forever. But avoiding Kyoko isn’t an option. It would be bad for the team, and it would signal to Kyoko that something’s up, which is the opposite of what Sayaka wants. She just wishes things could go back to normal.

After practice ends, she heads to the fridge to pick up some water or lemonade or whatever - as long as it’s cold and refreshing. She could do with some sugar. She opens the fridge, and she’s in the middle of choosing her drink when Kyoko strikes again.

“Pass me some Sprite, would you, butler?”

It’s been awhile since she’s heard that nickname. Would she normally pass Kyoko a soda without complaint? Probably, right? She passes Kyoko the Sprite and ignores the jolt that runs through her when their hands touch.

“So, are you going to tell me what’s bothering you, or what?”

Shit. She thought she was doing a better job of acting natural! Sayaka picks up her water and closes the fridge. “Nothing’s bothering me!” she says. She stands up and pretends she’s too immersed in trying to open up her water bottle to make eye contact. The dumb cap is actually stuck.

“Oh come on, I don’t buy that crap. Don’t push me away again,” Kyoko says. “What’s really bothering you?”

“The only thing that’s bothering me is your face!” Sayaka shouts in a panic. Well, technically she isn’t lying. She manages to wrench open the bottle and takes a few sips, trying to orient her thoughts. Maybe she can just tell Kyoko a little bit. Kyoko deserves that much, doesn’t she? She swallows and says quietly, “There’s something I want to do, but I’m - I’m afraid, I guess.”

Kyoko also takes a sip of her drink. “I didn’t take you to be the cowardly type.”

“I’m not a coward!” Sayaka exclaims, even as she wonders: Is she?

“You’re not,” Kyoko clarifies. “That’s what makes you so stupid.”

“Hey!” Sayaka pouts. “What am I supposed to say to that? Thanks for saying I’m not a coward but calling me stupid?”

“Well, it’s true,” Kyoko says. “You just charge into everything. That’s why I’m surprised that you’re holding yourself back out of fear.”

Sayaka hesitates and thinks about that. She takes another drink of water and sets the bottle on the fridge. She sighs.

“It’s because… what I could lose is important to me,” she finally says. And she could lose so much. She could mess up everything she has with Kyoko. She doesn’t want to go through heartbreak again, so soon after Kyosuke. But with Kyosuke, at least, she didn’t have to see him everyday for hours at a time. She didn’t have to deal with remaining civil on a team with him. Not to mention, Kyosuke never knew about her feelings, so she didn’t have to lose face either.

She likes being friends with Kyoko. Confessing her feelings would just fuck everything up. Would she and Kyoko even make a good couple, romantically? She has so many flaws. She and Kyoko clash too much. She doesn’t know the first thing about being a girlfriend. Especially to another girl. God, is that what she wants? That’s what she wants. She doesn’t just want to kiss Kyoko. She wants to hold her hand and bicker with her over text every night and be her _girlfriend_. This revelation isn’t as shocking as the first. In fact, it comes really… naturally. Like this was a long time coming, but she only just realized it.

“Stop being so vague! What are you even talking about? Look, you know there’s only so many things I can bring myself to actually give a fuck about.” Kyoko looks right into Sayaka’s eyes. “But I care about you. I want to help you!”

Kyoko’s so close. When had she gotten this close? And her eyes are so dark and captivating. She can’t look away. Her heart’s beating so fast, and she’s blushing so hard, and yet she leans closer.

“I’m scared,” she whispers. “But you’re right. I’m really stupid.”

And with that, she closes the small remaining gap between them and kisses her.

She’s never kissed anyone before, and she misjudges how to tilt her head so their noses don’t crash. Well that hurts a little bit, but they figure it out, and then, oh, they’re kissing. Kyoko’s lips are softer than she expected, and she tastes sweet, but that’s probably from the soda. Sayaka feels Kyoko’s hands in her hair and realizes her own hands are hanging limply at her side and tries to think of something to do, but mostly she just thinks _hnnghn this is happening this is real this is right hnnng soft soft warm_.

She eventually pulls away, gasping for breath. Her head is spinning, and her chest just might burst, and she can’t think straight. Wow, she really isn’t straight.

“Is that what was bothering you?” Kyoko asks. Her breath is ragged too.

“Yeah,” Sayaka says. She fidgets with her hands. “Is that - okay?”

“Are you an idiot? Of course it is. I mean, more than okay,” Kyoko says. She smiles, and it might be the most beautiful thing Sayaka’s ever seen in her entire life. “It’s good.”

Sayaka looks at Kyoko - her flushed cheeks and her messy hair and her huge smile - and debates whether or not to kiss her again before deciding, _Fuck it, I’m going to do it_ when Kyoko suddenly shrieks.

“My Sprite!”

Sayaka follows Kyoko’s eyes and looks down to see Kyoko’s can of Sprite lying on the grass, with a puddle around it. Oops. She looks up again to see Kyoko glaring at her.

“What are you looking at me for? You’re the one who dropped it!” Sayaka points out.

“Only because you distracted me!” Kyoko says.

“Don’t act like that! You liked it!”

“Never make me waste food!”

“Like I said, you’re the one who dropped it!”

Kyoko grumbles and runs a hand through her hair. She points at her accusingly. “You, Sayaka Miki, are going to be the death of me.”

“Well then,” Sayaka says, crossing her arms, “you’re going to be the death of me too!”

They glare at each other for a few more seconds before bursting into laughter. Sayaka’s not entirely sure what she’s gotten herself into. This could be messy. It might be difficult. They’re going to fight a lot. But if she gets to laugh like this again, if she gets to hear Kyoko’s laugh again, it’ll be worth it.

They have so much ahead of them. She’s so excited for what’s to come.

“Come on,” Sayaka says, taking her girlfriend’s hand. “I’ll buy you something better to make up for it.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here we are at the end. Finishing this fic is honestly pretty surreal because I've been working on it for several months now. This is the first multichap I've ever attempted (to post, anyway), and I'm glad that I managed to finish it. I know the ending is pretty open, but I currently have no plans for a sequel or anything. I'll just leave it at that.
> 
> Thank you so, so much to everyone who read and followed along with this fic! I sound like a broken record because I keep saying the same thing, but I really can't emphasize enough how grateful I am. When I first started this fic, I barely had any hits, and I didn't get any comments until the third chapter. I really thought the Madoka fandom was dead (it's been years since any new content, after all) and that my silly project wouldn't get any attention. It's not like this fic blew up or anything, but I am still extremely grateful to my humble little following. So yeah, thank you, and I hope you found something enjoyable!


End file.
